This, but unironically. I genuinely believe Proctor is lost in the sauce right now, and sees an opportunity to have his own Null moment. Despite the fact TVA isn't supposed to be a lolcow hunting ground, we're seeing that you can take the man out of the Farms, but not the Farms out of the man. A quick glance at half this thread is proof of that.
This is gonna be a long one. Consider this me getting out my definitive stance on the matter so that all cards are on the table. Agree, disagree, give me whatever stickers you want. Hopefully this sums up a lot of the issues it seems that people are overlooking because a lot of people are on that MamaMax kick right now (MamaMaxxing, if you will).
The fact of the matter is Kiki is a child sexual abuse victim, and is clearly traumatized by it. "When they tell you what they are, believe them"? Hard to do that when the person telling you what they are is a jumbled mess themselves. Going through those logs, Kiki very clearly did not get over what happened to her and is struggling to cope. Looking at all these logs she predominantly wants to
be the child, which, while fucked up on its own, isn't a danger to anyone. I know we love focusing on one screenshot out of a metric truckload of them, but she is a confused grooming victim trying to cope with what was done to her. She says she used to feel this way, but not anymore. Yes, I know the statistics on pedophiles, I also know people who have been traumatized say and think some insane shit in their attempts to rationalize what happened to them.
And yes, make no mistake; Kiki was groomed. I know people focus more on "you're so mature for your age" when they think of grooming, but what happened to Kiki was absolutely grooming. She escapes a bad home life through the internet, only to end up on 4chan. She's somewhere she thinks she belongs, where everyone is as weird as her. On 4chan she's getting attention, continuous positive reinforcement, and during a point in her development when she's just starting to be interested in the opposite sex, she's getting men fawning over her and making her feel desirable. She acted out for attention, and these grown men encouraged her worst behaviors in the hopes of victimizing her, which one of them eventually ended up doing. It's Pleasure Island type grooming.
CSA victims go through a lot of mental gymnastics to cope or rationalize what happened to them. This is why you see so many girls who were molested by male family members become butch, man-hating lesbians. They become deliberately unattractive as a defense mechanism (believing that being attractive is what put them in danger), and hate men because they see all men as the male family member that abused them. People who were abused as a child rarely function well in society without help. They'll go through all manner of rationalizations. Kiki saying "I used to feel this way, but don't anymore" does track, because it's not only possible, but likely she went through a phase of mentally normalizing what happened to her, before pulling herself out of that. Judging by all these logs put together, she's associated being young and desired by all those r9k scuzzbuckets as some kind of peak.
There's a difference between chastising someone and condemning them. Kiki is worthy of being chastised for her behavior, but condemning someone who was basically raped and is now as a result of which is going through a mental meltdown just seems vile, to me. She hasn't hurt anyone, she's clearly trying to get better, but is also very clearly failing at it. She's like the molestation victim that self-medicates with drugs or booze, except she's self-medicating with internet parasociality. The very same thing that got her into this mess when she was 14. This isn't about men vs. women culture war shit, men who were abused as children go through the same shit Kiki is going through. I am, of course, not counting the ones that continue the cycle. Kiki just made the mistake of telling internet strangers what other victims keep between them and their therapists/case workers.
The biggest sign she's not properly coping is the "I actually feel like Kiki IRL and not my real self" spiel. I think people wanted to zero in on this as a sign she's some predator honeypot character, but in reality this is the most textbook proxy suicide you can find. It's the same as the wave of depressed men becoming transgender we've seen crop up in recent years. Kill the old you, become a new you that's already guaranteed by what looks to you as a societal contract to start out with a level of affection and adoration you're entitled to. It's the reason you get such an emotional reaction to "deadnaming" someone; they're desperate to wipe away that old self that they hate, and you're reminding them of said self. Kiki is clearly trying to use the Kiki character for the same reason. Kiki is a cute little anime rabbit girl that people adore, she's much better than those "used goods" that got herself played by internet perverts.
Even if you said you ain't reading all that and skimmed it, this is the important part:
Kiki is very clearly on a knife's edge right now. She's self-medicating her trauma in all the wrong ways. Dogpiling her and trying to brute force her into being some kind of horrorcow is only going to exacerbate her problems. The only thing making her feel desperate and cornered in the state she's in is going to accomplish is pushing her to do something far worse. Potentially undoing any actual progress she's made and making a self-fulfilling prophecy out of her, if she doesn't just "an hero" instead.
That said, it's also on Kiki to get better, and if people should be pushing her to do anything, it's that. This?
I’ve known about Kiki since that really early single collab she did with Pippa, and I’d say a red flag that revealed how fucked she was, was a time where was so parasocial towards her chat that she was going to buy a super expensive wedding ring FOR THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF MARRYING HER CHAT, AND THEY NEEDED ACTUALLY TARD WRANGLE HER OUT OF IT. Only to then still buy a ring anyway but it was apparently only 70$ or something? I am paraphrasing and could be wrong about few details since it’s been a long time but the main details of this story have always stuck with me concerning Kiki.
This tracks with what we saw in those logs. She's self-medicating through a parasocial connection with her chat. She doesn't realize what she thinks is healing her is just the same shit she did all those years ago that got her hurt. She's once again surrounded herself with degenerate men encouraging her worst habits in an attempt to seek gratification from her.
Kiki is not a predator. As stated previously, by all accounts she wants to
be the victimized child again. As fucked up as ageplay is, it's not harming anyone. She's a tragedy playing out far more publicly than it should be.
What needs to happen is Kiki needs to take time off. Like a few months. I know every VTuber is mortified by the idea of doing so because they think they'll be instantly forgotten, but she won't. She needs to take time off, find a therapist, see if there's a CSA support group she can reach out to, and--this is the important part Kiki, if you're reading this--get away from your community. I know they've supported you, but you also have a lot of "UOOOH no-no square" faggots in there that are just going to reopen your wounds. Obviously not all of them are this way, but even one of them can be a problem.
Get away from all this for a bit and seek some help. Stay in touch with your fellow VTuber friends so you have a support system that won't enable you, and if you need to take medication, try it. When you come back, rebrand. You don't even need to completely eliminate Kiki, just change her around a bit. Specifically, drop the 4chan branding. 4chan got you into this mess in the first place, it's not your friend. Lose the clover, or if you wanna keep that because you just like clovers, at least tweak your last name a bit. Change it to Kiki Ponpon or Kiki Pyopon or something. Being Kiki is clearly your happy place, don't let it be tainted by making the same mistakes all over again.
And if she does do all that, and still has these problems, then it's probably better for her to just leave. Step out of the spotlight, retire as an internet figure of any kind, because it'll only do her harm.