She talks in kayfabe about that she's not from the same place as everyone else as she's from Indonesia (NijiID for those who don't get the context) and talks about grinding there, like doing her job and having moderate success but not being a huge star and believing that once she gets to 100k she would get some merch or something... only for that to never happen, so she tried for 150k and the again until she just gave up. Says that she had her first sponsor and merch with Vshojo, which honestly fits the image of NijiID being left to the side/not paid as much attention as the JP/EN branch. She doesn't mind growing that fast. Talks about people saying Michi doesn't care about ID and her friends only numbers and admits they were right because that's what she was doing but not that she wanted to do it.
Talks about a meeting a long time ago, where she was grinding for a long time and doing the best, 6 days a week, scheduling collabs videos etc. and the other day work offline. Admits neglecting EVERYTHING in order to make things work. Had conversation with people in her old work where she left her feelings out, things could have been worse but things are not as bad. In her head she thought that if she slowed down it was going to affect everyone, didn't want the situation to get worse. SHE DOUBLED HER WORK so that things don't get worse for everyone, and then things got worse. Never got the chance to participate in a lot of events with her friends. Says that in all groups there's going to be clashes, totally understands where they are coming from. She was M.I.A a lot and that she couldn't join stuff and people made assumptions that she was up her ass in the "I'm a big streamer and you are small, fuck you". But that was because at that point she didn't have the energy to clear her name and earn enough so people could see them as valuable.
Michi found out some people didn't like her and felt sad because this group of people was the reason she wanted to join in the first place, she couldn't even complain about it because she felt it was the consequence of her actions. And in the present she feels like a distant parent, wants to apologise but she has been ignoring that feeling, to the point she would play the villain than to change the people's mind. She couldn't show her coworkers proof because of NDA. Like literally couldn't apologise to her friend at one point because of NDA.
When echai/ichel reached her for a charity event (WHO????) hearing their voices again felt nice. Wanted to apologise at first but it was a nice situation, hearing them laugh and making cringe jokes. Admits some fault nonetheless because she was a very "intense" person. No one forces her to work hard but if a lot of things depend on her doing well then she has to do things perfectly. Seems like she was working super hard so there was less "pressure" on the people around her.
Talks about a metaphor: Landlord calls and says that if apartment doesn't get cleaned every single day the apartment will get demolished, there's a chance that if things are not "clean" someone in power will look at it and take it down. That was the kind of situation she was in, never said it like that, but if she didn't do well things could have gone worse(???) Says bayme she misunderstood but that was the place where her mind was "I need to keep this place afloat". At the same time the people around her didn't put pressure on her eveyone was nice, she was very paranoid "we still exist ding ding ding". The charity was nice because it was everyone being themselves. She was so focused on numbers she forgot being a good friend and missed all that. Says that her manager was very nice AND THEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED, and the fire nation managers "are a different topic for a different day". Says she's not here to judge to say "this good this bad". Then it segues into the original part of the stream or another one, not sure