So what is the fucking end game with this girl? With that mentality, she is only destined to fail.
Things go well for her, she kills herself.
Things start going bad for her, she kills herself.
She gets too old, she kills herself.
She needs meds and a fuck-ton of therapy. Overworking yourself to keep those intrusive thoughts out probably wont work with her. She also needs to leave the fucking house and get some Vitamin D or something.