Where do I begin? My father ranges from horrible to mean, from arrogant to almost narcissistic, he's so horrible that if this $20/hour job doesn't work out I think I'm going to take my older brother's advice and find a
I think I'm going to take my big brother's advice and find a group home, because I can't take it anymore. The work I've been doing this week consists of moving a bucket of wood every day and a few other things. Today I worked for 30 minutes carrying a bucket of firewood, pouring water, and washing dirty dishes. Dad asked
me to follow up on the application, but I didn't do it because I was going to do it on Monday. He took my cell phone and I yelled and tried to get him to listen to me explaining that no, I didn't say I'd do it on Friday, I said I'd do it on Monday. (He thought I said
(He thought I said I was doing it on Friday) He was trying to get the router out, and in an attempt to stop him I grabbed him and apparently accidentally hurt him (I recently apologized for this), and in response he grabbed a metal chair and threatened to hit me and slammed the chair on the floor, and he was trying to get him to listen to me, and no, I didn't say I was doing it on Friday, I said I was doing it on Monday.
In response, he grabbed a metal chair, threatened to hit me, slammed the chair on the floor, and said I had to get out of the way of the router or pack my bags. Finally, I told him I would follow up on the application on Monday, but he said he didn't care and told me to do it today. Because I was yelling at him, he was
He yelled like a madman and threatened to hit me with a chair because they accidentally hurt him, a hypocritical behavior that overwhelmed him. I went to my room and lay on my bed sobbing. (Because of all this, I also missed a music video and a few hours of my life.
(Because of all this, I also missed a music video and a couple of hours of important video streaming that I was watching).
He came into my room and started yelling again, telling me to get up and get dressed and get to work. Said I wasn't doing enough work and that it was costing my brother and I $1000 a month each (that's what we each pay for utilities). He
acted like he wasn't kicking us out, he was totally anti-social and caused his own kids to starve, so he was a great guy. Apparently, he also threw my brother's chair on his bed.
(The chair was brought from where he used to live), which is what my brother said later when we were doing woodworking together. I was very upset, and to make matters worse, I felt completely isolated, with no phone or internet, and my emotional support system was gone.
My emotional support system was gone and I was sobbing because I missed my sister so very, very much. I did some work, ate some food, and tried to call my big brother so I could at least talk to someone, but whatever it was, it was not a good idea.
I tried to call my big brother so that I could at least talk to someone, but for whatever reason the call didn't go through (I called him from the house phone). I was about to make firewood again, but Dad was doing it, and I told him I'd rather shoot myself in the face, than be with him.
than be with him, so she said something, but I don't know what it was, but it was probably something really bad. I took the dog out and helped my brother with the last load, but Dad left to go somewhere, so I waited.
But Dad left to go somewhere, so I waited to do other work.
My mom was drunk and somehow came to the conclusion that because my dad had bottled up his anger for days, what he did made sense. You know, one of the things he did to me was that I didn't follow up on my application as he told me to.
One of the things that made me angry was that I didn't follow through on the application as he told me to, because if Dad wanted to do it, it was a fact of life, and who cares about other people's opinions. When Dad came home, I tried to talk to him about giving me the phone so I could follow up on the application.
He said no, the managers had already left. He started off by saying, with all sincerity, that we wouldn't be allowed to get back on the tech and the network until we had completed all of our outstanding work for the week. You could say that was fucked up, and he even changed his mind.
He even changed his mind. But the one thing he didn't do was apologize, because he's a ruthless monster who does things as if they're justified. His first reaction is to be impulsive, and then no matter how bad he's done, he doubles down on it.
He's going to double down no matter how bad he's done it. A man with no concrete sense of right and wrong, no ability to take responsibility for those he has hurt, no ability to empathize with those who have spoken ill of him, no sense of guilt or shame.
A man with no sense of guilt or shame. After all he's done today, he has the fucking nerve to tell me not to play with my cell phone. This is my father, a serious egomaniac, a horrible hypocrite, and I hate him, and I hate being with him.
I hate him. I hate being with him.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
