The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

[Aquatic Novellite]

"I've learned that I'm okay with non-con sometimes, as long as it's not in an rp. Because then it's personal."
So for those that don't know, non-con means non-consensual. And he's said he's okay with it as long as it's not roleplaying because then it's personal. So did Nolan just state that he likes actual rape?

Normally one would think he means "As long as I'm just watching and not creating the content." H art/doujin/game fine, but not interested in roleplaying. Nothing unusual, it's fine.

But given what we know about Nolan and his sister, I wouldn't exactly bet money on that interpretation.

You think that Nolan is going to be left in a house by himself without any parental supervision or oversight? That if his sister was concerned for herself she wouldn't be able to shout out and get the attention of their mother, father or the sane brother?

One third of sexual assaults are perpetrated by relatives.

Families can be incredibly blind, uncaring or forgiving.

So yes. There is a high probability that Nolans family would do exactly that.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

One third of sexual assaults are perpetrated by relatives.

Families can be incredibly blind, uncaring or forgiving.

Especially when there is a built in excuse for unacceptable behavior "hes autistic so he does not know" which leads them to using it as a shield for other unacceptable behaviors because you taught them to use it as a shield.

 

[Clown Penis]

"LMAO!" Nolan shouted, following his announcement proclaiming he was joining the island for the first time. The exiled Nolan, slowly roasting over the fire the Sentinelese had lit underneath his bound body, continued with the proscribed behavior that had led to his exile in the first place. "MAGICAL! SUBSCRIBED AND FAVORITED!"

Once the Nolan was well done, the Sentinelese couldn't help but agree. It was a magical taste indeed, their new favorite, and they'd very much like to subscribe for more of the same.

Though the meaning of LMAO remained forever beyond their grasp.

It would be fitting if they also got GRIDS from Nolan.

Or diarrhea. Basically the same thing.

Edited the bolded part to include very important Nolan information that literally no one ever needed to know. We still do not care that you're joining a stream late, you sped.

With each passing day, I feel more justified in telling him to kill himself because he'll potentially rape someone. And he REALLY took that one personally.

---

EDIT: For posterity

The Sentinelese/Negritos are not a beautiful people, and yet like Chris, Nolan would probably have sex with them. Imagine the historical footnote regarding some island nigs being conquered by some unwanted non-functional retard bisexual manlet (from Ohio). His extreme autistic aggression and hands-in-ice cream training, with his 5'6" tard-strength and a kill count of one, to rape the whole island.

At least they're not as slightly less hideous than Abbos, so they've got that going for them.

That Nolan Crush guy, what a jerk.

 

[Nenélove]

It would be fitting if they also got GRIDS from Nolan.

Or diarrhea. Basically the same thing.

Edited the bolded part to include very important Nolan information that literally no one ever needed to know. We still do not care that you're joining a stream late, you sped.


The Sentinelese/Negritos are not a beautiful people, and yet like Chris, Nolan would probably have sex with them. Imagine the historical footnote regarding some island nigs being conquered by some unwanted non-functional retard bisexual manlet (from Ohio). His extreme autistic aggression and hands-in-ice cream training, with his 5'6" tard-strength and a kill count of one, to rape the whole island.

At least they're not as slightly less hideous than Abbos, so they've got that going for them.

That Nolan Crush guy, what a jerk.

"After the unfortunate demise of John Allen Chau on the 17th of November 2018, the sentinelese would see no further contact with the outside world for little over 10 years.

The next and last person to make contact with the island's inhabitants would be another US citizen, in February 6th of 2029, at the age of 28, convicted felon and infamous internet personality Nolan Schlamersdorf would arrive in the island with a falsified Indian passport, having paid two fishermen in Port Blair to secretly deliver him in the dead of night. They were almost caught by state coastguards, who frequently enforce the indian sovereignty of and exclusion zone around the islands.

Mr. Schlamersdorf would arrive at 3:45 am, IST (GMT+5:30), and would make the hike around the western coral reefs that prevent boats from directly reaching the island. According to official reports from indian authorities and a journal left on the island, Mr. Schlamersdorf encountered members of the sentinelese at the early hours of the morning, possibly around 5:40 to 6:30 am, on which he would inflict a terrible torture. All 300-odd inhabitants of the island where found to have been repeatedly beaten, sexually assaulted and then either killed on the spot or died from internal bleeding.

It is yet unknown how Mr. Schlamersdorf was able to subdue hundreds of armed sentinelese in the span of 5 odd hours but the only thing known is that at around noon that same day, Mr. Schlamersdorf would once again approach the island's western coast, and according to the two fisherman witnesses, which had been payed 4,570,000 Indian rupee (about 55.000 US dollars) each to stay off the shore of island and wait for his return, Mr. Schlamersdorf emerged for the island, completely naked and covered in blood, upon which he began maniacally shouting at the top of his lungs, which the fishermen described as something which sounded like "ALMO". After shouting several times Mr. Schlamersdorf reportedly held up a revolver he had concealed in his belongings and took his own life.

The US public has been horrified by this latest turn of events, with the indian government requesting direct accountability from the white house this thursday. Several acquaintances of Mr. Schlamersdorf came forward to give their testimonies; "It's not his fault" wrote prominent transexual Threads user ,Stacie "Myheartgoestoyou" Richards, "He was always an ally to the cause and it's those damn neo-nazi vtuber fans who drove him into it, you people need to go harass them instead". However others have criticised Mr. Schlamersdorf, claiming he deserves accountability for his actions, it is sadly true that Mr. Schlamersdorf maintained a heavy online presence and was involved in several online platforms, for which he amassed a large following of cyber-harassers, many of which are known users of "The Kiwifarms" an online forum mainly inhabited by online terrorists and cyber criminals."

I could be a fucking journo, HIRE ME NEW YORK TIMES.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

"After the unfortunate demise of John Allen Chau on the 17th of November 2018, the sentinelese would see no further contact with the outside world for little over 10 years.

The next and last person to make contact with the island's inhabitants would be another US citizen, in February 6th of 2029, at the age of 28, convicted felon and infamous internet personality Nolan Schlamersdorf would arrive in the island with a falsified Indian passport, having paid two fishermen in Port Blair to secretly deliver him in the dead of night. They were almost caught by state coastguards, who frequently enforce the indian sovereignty of and exclusion zone around the islands.

Mr. Schlamersdorf would arrive at 3:45 am, IST (GMT+5:30), and would make the hike around the western coral reefs that prevent boats from directly reaching the island. According to official reports from indian authorities and a journal left on the island, Mr. Schlamersdorf encountered members of the sentinelese at the early hours of the morning, possibly around 5:40 to 6:30 am, on which he would inflict a terrible torture. All 300-odd inhabitants of the island where found to have been repeatedly beaten, sexually assaulted and then either killed on the spot or died from internal bleeding.

It is yet unknown how Mr. Schlamersdorf was able to subdue hundreds of armed sentinelese in the span of 5 odd hours but the only thing known is that at around noon that same day, Mr. Schlamersdorf would once again approach the island's western coast, and according to the two fisherman witnesses, which had been payed 4,570,000 Indian rupee (about 55.000 US dollars) each to stay off the shore of island and wait for his return, Mr. Schlamersdorf emerged for the island, completely naked and covered in blood, upon which he began maniacally shouting at the top of his lungs, which the fishermen described as something which sounded like "ALMO". After shouting several times Mr. Schlamersdorf reportedly held up a revolver he had concealed in his belongings and took his own life.

The US public has been horrified by this latest turn of events, with the indian government requesting direct accountability from the white house this thursday. Several acquaintances of Mr. Schlamersdorf came forward to give their testimonies; "It's not his fault" wrote prominent transexual Threads user ,Stacie "Myheartgoestoyou" Richards, "He was always an ally to the cause and it's those damn neo-nazi vtuber fans who drove him into it, you people need to go harass them instead". However others have criticised Mr. Schlamersdorf, claiming he deserves accountability for his actions, it is sadly true that Mr. Schlamersdorf maintained a heavy online presence and was involved in several online platforms, for which he amassed a large following of cyber-harassers, many of which are known users of "The Kiwifarms" an online forum mainly inhabited by online terrorists and cyber criminals."

I could be a fucking journo, HIRE ME NEW YORK TIMES.

apply to kotaku they are desperate for any credibility.

 

[Clown Penis]

apply to kotaku they are desperate for any credibility.

If you couldn't tell based on his oshi, Nenefucker has standards, man.

Idk if this is an insult or a compliment but I'll take it eitherway.

Yes.
It's just playing off the "lover" part; implying something much lewder: seggs.


Nenechi is great.

 

[Nenélove]

If you couldn't tell based on his oshi, Nenefucker has standards, man.

Idk if this is an insult or a compliment but I'll take it eitherway.

Edit: Oh I don't mind the "fucker" part, been called that before, I guess I'm so calculating and sarcastic that I read too much into it.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

If you couldn't tell based on his oshi, Nenefucker has standards, man.

if you can make it through life without occasionally lowering your standards to tank kotakus reputation even further you are a better man then I.

 

[reinigen]

Well, it finally happened. Nolan got banned from the Pekora-cord.

His last message on the server -

And his 'explanation' of what happened on the Hana Maccia-cord.

First link is the above final message.
Second link -

3rd Link -

4th Link -

And with that, he's been banned from his most used Discord, clocking in at 8062 messages since May 2nd. Where will he flee to and stink up next? Tune in next time for Nolan Ball Z.

 

[thhrang]

 

[Awoogers]

Fucking Yamanba about time he got banned

 

[Nenélove]

Well, it finally happened. Nolan got banned from the Pekora-cord.

His last message on the server -

And his 'explanation' of what happened on the Hana Maccia-cord.

First link is the above final message.
Second link -

3rd Link -

4th Link -

And with that, he's been banned from his most used Discord, clocking in at 8062 messages since May 2nd. Where will he flee to and stink up next? Tune in next time for Nolan Ball Z.

THIS IS SO FUCKING GAYYYYYYYYYYY I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF

 

[46gumi]

Jesus christ the amount of cringe I felt while reading all that made me feel like my innards were all twisted.

And oh my god that

Hugs?

At the end

 

[reinigen]

Reminder that all of this, by his own words, is what he desires to do to "feel like part of a community".

 

[Seth]

Well, it finally happened. Nolan got banned from the Pekora-cord.

His last message on the server -

And his 'explanation' of what happened on the Hana Maccia-cord.

First link is the above final message.
Second link -

3rd Link -

4th Link -

And with that, he's been banned from his most used Discord, clocking in at 8062 messages since May 2nd. Where will he flee to and stink up next? Tune in next time for Nolan Ball Z.

Am i a bad person for enjoying this way too much? Probably. But can you blame me? Holy shit it just wont stop with him

 

[BlueSharkTV]

So what does he have left? the hana maccia fancord and the chinkcord? i wonder where he will go when he gets banned from there too. I feel like he will just shit on the homeland and non vtuber discords after the chinks get tired of his shit either way i can't wait for his chink arc to come to an end too.

 

[Seth]

So what does he have left? the hana maccia fancord and the chinkcord? i wonder where he will go when he gets banned from there too. I feel like he will just shit on the homeland and non vtuber discords after the chinks get tired of his shit either way i can't wait for his chink arc to come to an end too.

Just imagine Nolan killing himself after getting banned from every vtuber discords.

 

[niggaphil]

So what does he have left? the hana maccia fancord and the chinkcord? i wonder where he will go when he gets banned from there too. I feel like he will just shit on the homeland and non vtuber discords after the chinks get tired of his shit either way i can't wait for his chink arc to come to an end too.

Maybe he will move to Telegram and LMAO to be a part of the Vtuber community

 

[Nenélove]

So what does he have left? the hana maccia fancord and the chinkcord? i wonder where he will go when he gets banned from there too. I feel like he will just shit on the homeland and non vtuber discords after the chinks get tired of his shit either way i can't wait for his chink arc to come to an end too.

Reddit? Unless he's been banned there too, if he is then gamefaqs. I jest, I think Nolan would never pick a place that doesn't have a ton of activity, Nolan is literally the embodiment of FOMO brainrot, if he's not lmaoooing with 20 others to hear him then he will never be satisfied.

 

[angry sushi]

Maybe he will move to Telegram and LMAO to be a part of the Vtuber community

You already know he doesn't have the brain power to enter those communities.