The Unofficial Asylum Trading Card Game

[Nenélove]

Ok boys, I had this idiotic idea today and some people seemed interested so here we go:

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So as a shitpost and just a fun way to waste time I am making an asylum trading card game in the style of MTG, with all of the asylum injokes as cards and all of the prominent inmates as creatures. Below is my first creation that got some people triggered today.

Thing is though, I know jack shit about magic autism, so I require you folks to help me make realistic cards (I would've made them randomly but I KNOW you fucks are gonna complain, so I will open it for your consideration and approval).

This thread will also serve as a repository for my collection of created originals and as a way to share concepts and ideas, let's be ultra autistic about bits of paper together!
I also made some custom asylum mana symbols (they are transparent PNGs):

White is Hopeful, Red is MATI, Blue is Informative, Green is Meds and Black is Autistic.

 

[Nenélove]

Okay approved, thank you proctussy.
First I wanna fix the reticule card, honestly reticule is too complex of a subject for just one card, so I was thinking about a double card with one being normal-ish and the other being degenerate. I ask the card gods: What ideas have ye? Is this even allowed? I also wanna rename creatures to "Inmates" but they would be functionally identical.
@The Rrat @That Guy Over There

 

[The Rrat]

Okay approved, thank you proctussy.
First I wanna fix the reticule card, honestly reticule is too complex of a subject for just one card, so I was thinking about a double card with one being normal-ish and the other being degenerate. I ask the card gods: What ideas have ye? Is this even allowed? I also wanna rename creatures to "Inmates" but they would be functionally identical.
@The Rrat @That Guy Over There

One funny idea is from one of the newer sets. They had some legendary creatures from through out MTG history be corrupted by what is basically the MTG equivilent to "mold" (read up on Phyrexian oil for more). Basically, the front side of the card is the "normal side" then you can transform it to the other side for an additional mana cost that is a corrupted version of that card. See:

Heliod, the Radiant Dawn // Heliod, the Warped Eclipse

{2}{W}{W} • Legendary Enchantment Creature — God // Legendary Enchantment Creature — Phyrexian God • 4/4 • When Heliod, the Radiant Dawn enters the battlefield, return target enchantment card that isn't a God from your graveyard to your hand. {3}{U/P}: Transform Heliod, the Radiant Dawn...

scryfall.com

 

[Nenélove]

One funny idea is from one of the newer sets. They had some legendary creatures from through out MTG history be corrupted by what is basically the MTG equivilent to "mold" (read up on Phyrexian oil for more). Basically, the front side of the card is the "normal side" then you can transform it to the other side for an additional mana cost that is a corrupted version of that card. See:

Heliod, the Radiant Dawn // Heliod, the Warped Eclipse

{2}{W}{W} • Legendary Enchantment Creature — God // Legendary Enchantment Creature — Phyrexian God • 4/4 • When Heliod, the Radiant Dawn enters the battlefield, return target enchantment card that isn't a God from your graveyard to your hand. {3}{U/P}: Transform Heliod, the Radiant Dawn...

scryfall.com

That would certainly be an idea, how about green and black mana to summon (idk the amounts), some kind of effect related to buffing all other mold inmates (servants of mold? suggest names if you want), and then a transform for more black mana (more autism) and then in his transformed state he uses the meatkin thing and/or some other effect. His type can also be "Solitary Confinement Inmate" because reticule has to be a powerful card, in attack/defense idk what would be appropriate.

Edit: I actually wanna change the green symbol to something that represents shitposting or funny posts since black already represents mental illness fine, then use the pill as the series symbol.

 

[The Rrat]

Need to have Bay Lurker as a creature that can't actually be played. Every time you draw his card you just reshuffle it into your Library.

Reveal it when drawn, apply a Miko counters to a Nijifriend creature, and reshuffle it back into the library. After 3 Miko counters have been added to a creature, exile that creature.

I made this before I even read your post lmao.


Lurk -- Reveal this card from your hand as you draw it and put a Migo counter on each Nijisanji VTuber Nijifriend Inmate your opponents control. Then, put Bay Lurker on the bottom of your library.
"Bay lurker is the one responsible for the lack of Nijifriendson the forum, he has systematically and methodically hunted each ofthem down, why do you think scuddle disappeared? Now he taunts thefew remaining ones with reactions, reminding them of theirinevitable encounter with the Nijikiller."
- NenèLove

VTubers should be Planeswalker cards.

Edit: changed a bit. Also, I have it put the card on the bottom of the deck because adding unnecessary shuffing is usually asking for agony.

 

[Nenélove]

I made this before I even read your post lmao.
View attachment 54277

Lurk -- Reveal this card from your hand as you draw it. Put a Migo counter on each Nijisanji VTuber your opponents control. Then,put Bay Lurker on the bottom of your library.
"Bay lurker is the one responsible for the lack of Nijifriendson the forum, he has systematically and methodically hunted each ofthem down, why do you think scuddle disappeared? Now he taunts thefew remaining ones with reactions, reminding them of theirinevitable encounter with the Nijikiller."
- NenèLove

VTubers should be Planeswalker cards.

No chuubas, that's just gonna make everyone start focusing on that instead of asylum centric cards.

 

[The Rrat]

No chuubas, that's just gonna make everyone start focusing on that instead of asylum centric cards.

Planeswalkers in MTG are rare compared to creatures. They generally only print 3 per set, for example. I think it makes sense to have VTubers as the equivilent because IDK what else we would use intead. But I guess it would make more sense for Migo to be applied to inmates.

 

[Nenélove]

Do you have any blank card templates?

 

[The Rrat]

https://mtgcardsmith.com/

I have been using this site. It sucks, but does not require logging in.

 

[Nigel Nigerman]

I will add my autism to this thread.

Nolan - deals LMAO dmg, extremely autistic and spergy. Can only be defeated by the Penis Explosion Chamber card.

Superduper - Nolan's wife. Gets a buff when a big brother is on the field. Useless vtuber.

Murray - can nullify a card's effect; must reveal the opponent's deck. Extremely scruffed.

Proctor - British Femboy. Has a mother complex buff. Extremely weak to foxes and vtubers that can be groomed.

Godzilla1984 - Boomer. A chud. Deals old man dmg per turn.

Kuri Rinji - Cringe dramatuber. Likes to be dominated. Extremely useless.

Reinigen - Mold. Gets a buff whenever the Pippa card is on the field.

Awoogers - SEAnig. Rin enjoyer. Gets a buff whenever the Rin Penrose card is on the field. Pagpag eater.

Jambalaya - SEAnig. Shitposter. Causes chaos in the field.

Nenelove - Beaner. Nene enjoyer. Gets a buff whenever Momosuzu Nene is on the field. Gets a debuff when Nene Amano is on the field.

Thhrang - Useless. Discard immediately.

John Vtuber - Whore. Gets a buff whenever a female vtuber is on the field.

God's Strongest Mozumite - Brown enjoyer. Gets a buff whenever a brown female vtuber is on the field. Loves piss.

I know fuck shit about MTG. That is all for now.

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

I made this before I even read your post lmao.
View attachment 54277

Lurk -- Reveal this card from your hand as you draw it. Put a Migo counter on each Nijisanji VTuber your opponents control. Then,put Bay Lurker on the bottom of your library.
"Bay lurker is the one responsible for the lack of Nijifriendson the forum, he has systematically and methodically hunted each ofthem down, why do you think scuddle disappeared? Now he taunts thefew remaining ones with reactions, reminding them of theirinevitable encounter with the Nijikiller."
- NenèLove

VTubers should be Planeswalker cards.

You can enter a new line when the text overlaps into the card frame.
Took a brief spin at an inmate card and came up with an enchantment that fits that creature type.

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Jambalaya - SEAnig. Shitposter. Causes chaos in the field.

How dare you, I am not a SEAnig.

 

[Stunned But Dumb]

I know little about MTG (I was a YGO guy) but I know there's Land cards that have significant effect on gameplay. What if some threads served as different land cards then? Maybe none of the event threads, but like Livepost thread, Gen thread (both of them) vidya thread etc

Mostly I just want to watch this take place

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

I know little about MTG (I was a YGO guy) but I know there's Land cards that have significant effect on gameplay. What if some threads served as different land cards then? Maybe none of the event threads, but like Livepost thread, Gen thread (both of them) vidya thread etc

Mostly I just want to watch this take place

Sounds like a great idea. Could make the pippathread land card have a tap ability to generate mold tokens. Make the liveposting general land have a mana+tap ability to give a creature haste.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

Okay approved, thank you proctussy.
First I wanna fix the reticule card, honestly reticule is too complex of a subject for just one card, so I was thinking about a double card with one being normal-ish and the other being degenerate. I ask the card gods: What ideas have ye? Is this even allowed? I also wanna rename creatures to "Inmates" but they would be functionally identical.
@The Rrat @That Guy Over There

Since your mimicking magic you can just make several versions of the same card. Reti as a normal user Reti as a Pippa PosterReti as an autist stronger then Nolan Reti as a "im not retarded i was just pretending".

The other solution is to just Ape planeswalkers and similar cards that have a different version of the same character on their flipside.

Also your gonna have to find someone to do a card about you looking forward to it.

https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/8/e/8e92ba96-372c-418d-b271-45e1bf5c7af5.jpg?1562438472

https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/7/b/7b215968-93a6-4278-ac61-4e3e8c3c3943.jpg?1566971561

https://cards.scryfall.io/large/back/7/b/7b215968-93a6-4278-ac61-4e3e8c3c3943.jpg?1566971561

https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/9/e/9e80f2fc-06d4-4ce9-b23b-3e4af1208fa5.jpg?1592765962

just as some examples of how magic presents the same character over several cards

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

Potential Creature Types - Latinx, Mold, SEAnig, Autist, Degenerate, Lurker, Shitposter, Troll

 

[God's Wingiest Winger]

I almost feel like a Pippa Thread themed deck versus a General one would be an absolute bloodbath.

Don't forget tho that despite all of us in the Pippa thread, General had Nolan

 

[Awoogers]

SEAnigs should have 2 types being drivebys and normal SEAnigs

 

[CalciumAnimal]

Potential Creature Types - Latinx, Mold, SEAnig, Autist, Degenerate, Lurker, Shitposter, Troll

As a member of the LONGPOSTERS we need some rep too.Also maybe Jannie Journo and RRATer.

 

[Nenélove]

Just making them in mspaint now lol, this is my initial idea for reticule good v2.0, gonna work on the flipside tomorrow. I need realistic ideas for the effects. If anyone wants to make a creepy/cursed edit of reticule for the Degenerate Lord version, feel free to share it.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

View attachment 54282
Just making them in mspaint now lol, this is my initial idea for reticule good v2.0, gonna work on the flipside tomorrow. I need realistic ideas for the effects. If anyone wants to make a creepy/cursed edit of reticule for the Degenerate Lord version, feel free to share it.

ask Reti for the images of his past avatars and then after he sends them link this thread.

Hung himself many such cases.

as for card effects since hes a basic mook Cheap Cost Enchant or Artifact destruction is pretty safe. Mold cards should work to stick on the feild till they can flip maybe.

Black/Green Deck.