The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

[Helmet-kun Backwards]

Holy fuck.

"And in his hubris, Nolanus of Columbus rose his fist against the people of his Mater Magna and thus in a loud voice he spake:

Cursed be thee! Who have cast me out of your hallowed halls! For I was one of the first children! For I was one of the brethren who shared your blood!
My vengeance shall be terrible! May my words inscribe a curse upon thy deeds! I shall emerge with the light of Victoria upon my head! Doomed are
all those who have cast pain and humiliation upon me! May the gods above and below witness this oath, for I speak in free liberty and with exact purpose.

Yet the gods did not grant Nolanus' plea... his treasonous actions, in violation of his eternal solitary banishment, brought on indescribable curses upon him.
Peace had been granted onto this tortured soul, yet he possessed not the civility nor the humility required to realize this final parting gift from his estranged kin."

God's strongest plagiarist strikes again? Will this post get confused as a literary reference in the inevitable Nolan destruction stream?

boy i really hope this isn't actually a reference to something

I want to reiterate this as well. It's tempting, but as more and more places ban Nolan we have to make sure we have SOME way to track him.

Tempting is an understatement. If we have to start an addiction support group for Nolan-tipping, can we get some of those little addiction recovery rings?

 

[Pencilfreak]

I'm just going to do a dedicated stream reviewing this whole thread in response if Youtube doesn't let me put the video back up, and then post it to Rumble as well, and pin it to my profile on Twitter for a month.

Streisand effect baaaabbbyyyyyyyyy!

 

[Nenélove]

A stream would be very good, a full reading of the writeup would be delectable kantent for sure, maybe invite the chair to the stream to inflict ultimate pain.

 

[Seth]

I want to reiterate this as well. It's tempting, but as more and more places ban Nolan we have to make sure we have SOME way to track him.

To be fair its the first time i end up getting a successful report on a twitter user. I just thought "what if" for shit and giggles. Now knowing it can actually work i won't do it again.

Lmk if you need help going through the thread to find stuff. I can't write for shit but im decent at nagivating the forum. Might aswell take a look at the degeneracy thread since early nolan arc on tva was documented there.

 

[Pencilfreak]

At this point if Nolan keeps fucking up at nuke speed, he's going to transition from lolcow to super lolcow.

 

[fortnitesmasherX]

How does he not have a dedicated thread on the farms yet? I think he's shown enough weird behavior outside of his vtuber obsession to be of interest to them.

That's on me. I've been wanting to make it for a while but being a working adult with a kid my time is limited. Typically I have free time during the day working IT remotely, but work has been super busy for the last year or so. It's finally starting to slow down, so I expect I can crank one out soon. That post I made is asking permission to do so, as Nolan was a KF member you need the go ahead from Mods to make a thread.

Understandable, but have you considered taking advantage of the free child labor and have them work on it?

 

[Seth]

How does he not have a dedicated thread on the farms yet? I think he's shown enough weird behavior outside of his vtuber obsession to be of interest to them.

Nolan easily has 100k+ posts on the internet. Making the OP here was probably already hard enough, gotta give em a break with this much autism.

 

[reinigen]

How does he not have a dedicated thread on the farms yet? I think he's shown enough weird behavior outside of his vtuber obsession to be of interest to them.

That's on me. I've been wanting to make it for a while but being a working adult with a kid my time is limited. Typically I have free time during the day working IT remotely, but work has been super busy for the last year or so. It's finally starting to slow down, so I expect I can crank one out soon. That post I made is asking permission to do so, as Nolan was a KF member you need the go ahead from Mods to make a thread.

 

[Nenélove]

Lmk if you need help going through the thread to find stuff. I can't write for shit but im decent at nagivating the forum. Might aswell take a look at the degeneracy thread since early nolan arc on tva was documented there.

All of the nolan-related posts in the degen thread were moved here when this thread was created so no need.

so I expect I can crank one out soon.

You haven't beaten it in a whole year?

 

[niggaphil]

That's on me. I've been wanting to make it for a while but being a working adult with a kid my time is limited. Typically I have free time during the day working IT remotely, but work has been super busy for the last year or so.

To be honest, it is good that you did not write the thread yet, because we have collected enough evidences by now. I remembered last time you hesitated to write it because homeland mods might find it insufficient.

To be fair its the first time i end up getting a successful report on a twitter user. I just thought "what if" for shit and giggles. Now knowing it can actually work i won't do it again.

When I saw that tweet, I thought Nolan went too far to the fedposting territory so I decided to report him.

I did not expect the Elon Musk Twitter would treat it seriously (handled by actual jannies or AI)

I would not attempt similar approach again in the future, but at least i glad to know that Nolan took a L in twitter because he hates Elon so much.

 

[furaibou]

At this point if Nolan keeps fucking up at nuke speed, he's going to transition from lolcow to super lolcow.

Chris-chan arc when?

 

[tgmslc]

Don't report him, dummies, we get less content that way.

At this point, the autism storm that is Nolan Crush is breaking containment. So either the Asylum reports him, or someone else reports him, and this is the place that has spent so long diligently gathering the receipts.

Honestly, TVA has earned the right to the final penis explosion of Nolan Crush.

Streisand effect baaaabbbyyyyyyyyy!

Re-using this handy lil clip

 

[reinigen]

Nolan continues to take another L after he failed to strike down our Femboi:

View attachment 80437

DeepL translation:
Got banned from another Chinese server, I don't understand, at all, what happened! I just did the live reaction, which is my usual normal behavior. I'm about to cry. I didn't do anything and I still got banned. I'm starting to get extremely paranoid and feel very insecure. If I could get banned without any reason or explanation, what else could happen? Sent a message to the admins of the server, but I'll be lucky if I get a reply, let alone an unban. Cry can I get a hug?

Thank you. I just don't understand? Why I can't feel safe anywhere.

Nolan, has you think of striking down these Chink servers or call police because they make you feeling unsafe?

Looks like this was for the Gigi ChinaCord, as per his ponyblog post.

 

[fortnitesmasherX]

"please help I'm panicking;"

 

[Aquatic Novellite]

Chris-chan arc when?

I'm not sure Nolan's mom would appreciate this very much.

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

I'm not sure Nolan's mom would appreciate this very much.

Well he's already hit her, gave her a bloody lip, and then victim blamed her. So his disregard for family members is kind of at that low. I fear for his mother should his father pass and no longer be around to keep the tard in check.

 

[niggaphil]

Looks like this was for the Gigi ChinaCord, as per his ponyblog post.

Yeah, I just confirmed it was Gigi server that banned him.

Meanwhile, stumble across this gem while checking the discord:

DeepL translation:
Winz: If you have time, you can watch the VOD
Nolan: Right on. Honestly, I really need to improve my ability to watch VOD. I need better time management skills for that.
Winz: You've been working?
Nolan: No, but I'll probably get a job soon. I always do other things than watch VOD

Nolan is very busy doing other things than watching the VOD guys? Why is he so busy even without a job? Eating Ice-cream with hand, wiping the floor with dog diaper, beating his mother?


Edit 2: Nolan admitted that he wrote most of his shit in CHATGPT

DeepL translation:
I'm using ChatGPT to write my messages. It's much more reliable.

 

[Seth]

Nolan is very busy doing other things than watching the VOD guys? Why is he so busy even without a job? Eating Ice-cream with hand, wiping the floor with dog diaper, beating his mother?

He's too busy sperging on twitter.

 

[ex_lurker]

Edit 2: Nolan admitted that he wrote most of his shit in CHATGPT
View attachment 80490
DeepL translation:
I'm using ChatGPT to write my messages. It's much more reliable.

Ahh the wonders of technology! Enabling autists from the other side of the world to shit up your local community in your own language. Isn't that something?

 

[superduper]

I don't understand why Nolan so butthurt about armchair and Proctor collab, making him to strike Proctor's video?

Does anyone know any possible reasons behind it?

Ya i am talking about you, @superduper, since you know nolan so well

Godamnit!