It's funny my sister that is well off is scared to have a kid because of economical issues and yet my poor as fuck cousin has popped out their 3rd kid with his wife.
Kids are pricey but you can make do if you stop worrying about every little thing.
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Kaminari Clara, Owner of Chuds - Memorial Post Dump
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Kids are pricey but you can make do if you stop worrying about every little thing.
There's a difference between commenting on her looks and commenting on the way she perceives herself.
I was once given the advice that is you wait for the right time to have kids then you will never have kids so just go for it.
On the other hand I know people who popped them out willy-nilly and these days are miserable and/or divorced after all the stress it caused from not being in a good position for it.
Hey Wew thanks for popping in again, I know you're trying hard not to go off with this thread. God bless your cousins kids.
I think that he's more getting at that you can't wait for perfect circumstances but you can plan and prepare for a child.
I question heavily the economic factor, given how many kids people had in the past when they were dirt poor. It seems more common that the wealthier you are, the less likely you're to have kids - until you reach a certain level of wealth, then it's kids time again.
From what I can tell from history, it's more of a cultural issue - that is, the state of the culture. Cultural uncertainty seems to make people less likely to want to have offspring. A strong sense of meaning in one's life - along with the desire to pass on your culture to the next generation - seems to be a strong, if not dominating factor in people wanting to have kids.
From what I can tell from history, it's more of a cultural issue - that is, the state of the culture. Cultural uncertainty seems to make people less likely to want to have offspring. A strong sense of meaning in one's life - along with the desire to pass on your culture to the next generation - seems to be a strong, if not dominating factor in people wanting to have kids.
One of the things I've learned from basically everybody who I know who've had kids is that, like... it just works. Once you have a kid you're obviously not going to just not care for them, you're gonna try your hardest to make sure they survive and you figure out a way to survive. Pippa once said the same thing about living alone, and while that doesn't exactly apply anymore to her it's still pretty important to remember than your brain is hardwired to survive, not to worry and fret over every single future outcome. Once you let yourself be in the situation you'll be surprised how well you can handle it, as long as you don't feel too worried about the future.
Obviously there will be some issues you'll need to concern yourself with (good education, good morals, raising your kids with religion, making sure they're socialized in the right environment) but again, if you just kinda look you'll figure it all out. It takes time, but it's worth it to see your future posterity living among the greater human population, knowing that your legacy is safe and secure, and that you have a wife and children who you can truly love and cherish for the rest of eternity.
I have never bought blaming kids for being miserable argument. There are ups & downs everyday but that is just how it has always been. Having kids should be the one bright spot in your life and being miserable/divorced can be attributed to a whole slew of other factors.
I know this lawyer who is so stressed from having to drive his 5 kids around that he had to turn to hard drugs & hedonism just to survive. As there a literally millions of families making it work I suspect that having kids isn't the real issue.
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I think most people are terrible parent material and shouldn't have kids, I won't have any because I just know my generally icy demeanor would end with me hated as "emotionally abusive".
If you want the actual answers, the first is Status, the second is Displacing Responsibility and the third is general health. TFRs would go down regardless of any other activity because we've found ways to keep children alive that would have never lived before 1900. The assumption that those children would be healthy otherwise and able to reproduce is simply wrong. We have absolutely zero qualms pointing this out if you're talking about breeding Race Horses or House Plants, but the instant you point to the effects of weaker genetics on humans most people shut down.
But, the primary bit is Status. Women chase after Male Status. In an "equal" society, a very small portion of Men have higher status. Thus they can constrain their biology because they don't get hot & bothered by Men in the same way. Though in a truly unequal society, you're still looking at maybe 75% of Men still have Status. (Call this the Goat Banger effect in Sunni societies.) This is why the attack on the Statue of Housewife matters a lot. Having children suddenly lowers a Woman's group status, at least until everyone hits the wall and then their Status skyrockets as their children accomplish things. That's why "The Wall" will always matter with regards to Women.
The "Displacing Responsibility" aspect also matters. Way too many don't want to grow up. They don't want to make hard choices that matter and face the consequences for them. It's why those that don't think about consequences have no issues having children. The creation of the concept of the "teenager" has been terrible for societies, as it delays putting hard responsibilities in a measured manner on young adults. Too many girls get to avoid it all for way too long, and then become completely used to never having to deal with the consequences. It's why people the political brainrot and middle/upper middle class upbringings go together very well. It's why an entire industry exists to ensure a bubble of false reality for those teenagers, to feed them into the meat grinder later.
But, the primary bit is Status. Women chase after Male Status. In an "equal" society, a very small portion of Men have higher status. Thus they can constrain their biology because they don't get hot & bothered by Men in the same way. Though in a truly unequal society, you're still looking at maybe 75% of Men still have Status. (Call this the Goat Banger effect in Sunni societies.) This is why the attack on the Statue of Housewife matters a lot. Having children suddenly lowers a Woman's group status, at least until everyone hits the wall and then their Status skyrockets as their children accomplish things. That's why "The Wall" will always matter with regards to Women.
The "Displacing Responsibility" aspect also matters. Way too many don't want to grow up. They don't want to make hard choices that matter and face the consequences for them. It's why those that don't think about consequences have no issues having children. The creation of the concept of the "teenager" has been terrible for societies, as it delays putting hard responsibilities in a measured manner on young adults. Too many girls get to avoid it all for way too long, and then become completely used to never having to deal with the consequences. It's why people the political brainrot and middle/upper middle class upbringings go together very well. It's why an entire industry exists to ensure a bubble of false reality for those teenagers, to feed them into the meat grinder later.
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So, I have no interest in having kids in general because a) I don't like them and b) I know my impatience with them would make me a terrible father, but as someone who fits into that middle-class comfort zone I can empathise with why someone in my situation who did want kids would still think twice about actually going through with it.
It's mainly just the day-to-day quality of life. It's easy enough to cover your own costs and possibly cover a stay-at-home housewife's costs too if you get yourself a not-shit job and are sensible with your spending, but if you bring a kid into the equation you're probably gonna both have to go to work, likely full time, meaning you barely ever get to spend time with the kid anyway.
That means it won't be you bringing him up, it'll be the school. Most people aren't going to be able to afford the fees for a good private school so they're dependant on the state schools which decline in quality more by the year, where the kid will be exposed to influences a self-respecting middle-class parent wouldn't want their kid to be exposed to. State schools are full of chavs, non-English speakers, and other troublemakers; and generally have a social culture that punishes aspiration rather than rewards it.
The problems won't even be over when he finishes school for the day; you'll still be at work for another few hours so he'll get dumped off with either a childminder or at Grandma's place long after she thought she finally had some peace and quiet, which in itself places a burden on either your wallet or your extended family's time.
You're in a situation where you're working all day, every day, to cover the cost of living. You barely see your kid, you barely see your wife, your house is a shithole because you're never home to tidy it up, you're eating slop most nights because you're not at home to cook. It's not an issue for the wealthy because they have the means to avoid most of these problems, and it's not a problem for benefit claimants who can stay at home with their kids all day courtesy of the taxpayer, but for working and middle-class families who're just trying to get by, raising a nuclear family in the current year sounds fucking miserable.
Good discussion guys... alright next on the topic list, Kelsey's past eating disorder. Discuss. I just find it weird why she'd post that on her story 10 years later, I guess she still has body image issues.
When you care so little about someone's "dumb ass opinion" that you still feel the need to talk about it ten years later.
I'm sympathetic toward a lot of mental disorders but eating disorders of the "waaah my body image" variety are the most obvious "lack of discipline" disorders out there. If you're so terminally online that some rando on an image board insulting you is enough to make you fucking starve yourself then the solution is literally to log the fuck off.
Ah nice, directly seething about lolcow.farm 10 years later. Now that PULL's down I'm glad to see it's still standing in all its catty insane glory.
I don't even know anymore.
Don't worry Kelsey, nobody wants to traffic you. I don't think the shitty manchild tattoos and menhera colored hair will be the deciding factor.
Don't worry Kelsey, nobody wants to traffic you. I don't think the shitty manchild tattoos and menhera colored hair will be the deciding factor.
That's the spirit, tell those trolls how they get to live rent-free in your head for almost a decade while showing what topics make you insecure! Truly owning the chuds!
HOLY FUCK WOMAN PLEASE STOP BEING RETARDED
She should go back to whatever she was doing before. She could stand to lose a few nowadays
"Did you know women with colored hair and tattoos are less likely to be trafficked"
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