Man... Man... Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... No one here cares about this, but I was planning on doing a write up of the 60 DOLLAR Khaos Reigns story mode DLC for Mortal Kombat that dropped last week-ish but that shit was so ass I turned it off and had to force myself to finish it days later. Finish the video, mind you. I refused to buy that. It was insulting even offering it.
Look feeel free to skip over this and drop a fat
ifyou like, I don't mind at all. I just want to rant.
I won't pretend Mortal Kombat's storytelling has traditionally been a golden standard for writing. It's always had its bone headed moments, its annoying writing, and its wasted characters, but the big picture was filled with charm and passion. It always felt like the story meant something to the people telling it. It was fantastical and edgy, but it fully believed its own hype. That sincerity makes me appreciate it.
This DLC storyline, the bulk of the original MK1 story at that, feels like it just didn't care. Not a hint of effort or interesting plot beats in the slightest. I couldn't even raise my eyebrow and think "oh that was neat" the entire time. It felt like a chore. The original stories from decades (good god...) ago had their cliches, but this felt like copying the homework of every big movie of the past ten years and not even changing it up a bit, just writing your name on it.
It feels like using tvtropes as a checklist as "what's needed to have a good story." or something. There was a scene that sent me back to fanfiction.net so fast, I couldn't help but laugh from the whiplash. I ended it with so many questions:
Wew... That felt good. And sad. But good. Ranting is ok sometimes. The writing was weak: An attempt to imitate an already overbloated genre thats long outlived its glory years. The dialogue was terrible: a bunch of five dollar words thrown about with no real point or substance to them and external references that a child wouldn't giggle at. The characters were predictable: ironically for a story that brags about embracing chaos, not a single thing went unexpected.
Thats the worst thing I have about the new era. I don't mind things being different actually, completely different even... but it isn't. Nothing's really all that different other than some of the bad guys are nicer now. Most of the characters still have the same roles they have always had. The only changes are either superficial or just plain worse or less interesting for the world they wish to build.
Here are Noob, Cyrax, and Sektor's endings
Sektor and Noob speedrun Mythologies (hey guys remember mythologies, haha cool right haha rad haha) and Cyrax is boring. How fun. Here are the animalities. They were free. That's nice. They were... okay. A couple were neat.
Edit: I hate shippers
Look feeel free to skip over this and drop a fat
ifyou like, I don't mind at all. I just want to rant.I won't pretend Mortal Kombat's storytelling has traditionally been a golden standard for writing. It's always had its bone headed moments, its annoying writing, and its wasted characters, but the big picture was filled with charm and passion. It always felt like the story meant something to the people telling it. It was fantastical and edgy, but it fully believed its own hype. That sincerity makes me appreciate it.
This DLC storyline, the bulk of the original MK1 story at that, feels like it just didn't care. Not a hint of effort or interesting plot beats in the slightest. I couldn't even raise my eyebrow and think "oh that was neat" the entire time. It felt like a chore. The original stories from decades (good god...) ago had their cliches, but this felt like copying the homework of every big movie of the past ten years and not even changing it up a bit, just writing your name on it.
It feels like using tvtropes as a checklist as "what's needed to have a good story." or something. There was a scene that sent me back to fanfiction.net so fast, I couldn't help but laugh from the whiplash. I ended it with so many questions:
Why was Military Johnny Cage there at all? An unfunny comic relief who really added nothing to the story and didn't even interact with the other cage? Why Not just have that Johnny then?
Why is Bi Han such a whiny brat? Is this what makes a dividing or interesting character? He's more of a mook than anything, why should I consider him a threatening running antagonist in the slightest?
Why should I care about Empress Tanya and Rain? They were introduced ten minutes ago and you killed one and the other is almost as interesting as a slice of bread before you butter it.
Why does Liu Kang care so much about killing titan havik and ending the lives of millions (Probably should be billions since its a whole timeline) but he was super ready to smoke Titan Shang and numerous other mix and match gods during the battle of argus. How many billions of billions of lives did that fight end? Why do his innocents now matter?
Why do any of them care so much about killing or not killing when it comes to main characters they're so much better than that? It's actually a common cliche in many stories, especially games, but it never mattered in MK before because characters WERE usually ready to kill a main character they just tended to get interrupted. That was varying degrees of stupid in its own way, but it at least kept characters consistent?
Who is this Havik? Why is he here? According to Liu from part 1, the kombat between him and Shang caused everyone at the battle with Kronika to become gods of their own timelines. Ok, sure. Does this mean literally EVERYONE? Like every single no name scrub that got slaughtered or only the ones who were alive during the battle? Does that count the Cage family or were they too busy being taken away as sex slaves to become gods (that still annoys me)? Does that mean Havik was just chilling somewhere on the battlefield? Who knows? He just arrives and not in a "ooooh my chaotic powers have no real understanding to how they work" its in a "we care so little about consistency we won't even put in a complimentary excuse of 'its chaos we aint gotta explain shit' for you" type of way.
Why am I asking all these questions when I know none of the powers that be care. They got their money. They got their guest characters. They absolutely won.
Why is Bi Han such a whiny brat? Is this what makes a dividing or interesting character? He's more of a mook than anything, why should I consider him a threatening running antagonist in the slightest?
Why should I care about Empress Tanya and Rain? They were introduced ten minutes ago and you killed one and the other is almost as interesting as a slice of bread before you butter it.
Why does Liu Kang care so much about killing titan havik and ending the lives of millions (Probably should be billions since its a whole timeline) but he was super ready to smoke Titan Shang and numerous other mix and match gods during the battle of argus. How many billions of billions of lives did that fight end? Why do his innocents now matter?
Why do any of them care so much about killing or not killing when it comes to main characters they're so much better than that? It's actually a common cliche in many stories, especially games, but it never mattered in MK before because characters WERE usually ready to kill a main character they just tended to get interrupted. That was varying degrees of stupid in its own way, but it at least kept characters consistent?
Who is this Havik? Why is he here? According to Liu from part 1, the kombat between him and Shang caused everyone at the battle with Kronika to become gods of their own timelines. Ok, sure. Does this mean literally EVERYONE? Like every single no name scrub that got slaughtered or only the ones who were alive during the battle? Does that count the Cage family or were they too busy being taken away as sex slaves to become gods (that still annoys me)? Does that mean Havik was just chilling somewhere on the battlefield? Who knows? He just arrives and not in a "ooooh my chaotic powers have no real understanding to how they work" its in a "we care so little about consistency we won't even put in a complimentary excuse of 'its chaos we aint gotta explain shit' for you" type of way.
Why am I asking all these questions when I know none of the powers that be care. They got their money. They got their guest characters. They absolutely won.
Wew... That felt good. And sad. But good. Ranting is ok sometimes. The writing was weak: An attempt to imitate an already overbloated genre thats long outlived its glory years. The dialogue was terrible: a bunch of five dollar words thrown about with no real point or substance to them and external references that a child wouldn't giggle at. The characters were predictable: ironically for a story that brags about embracing chaos, not a single thing went unexpected.
Thats the worst thing I have about the new era. I don't mind things being different actually, completely different even... but it isn't. Nothing's really all that different other than some of the bad guys are nicer now. Most of the characters still have the same roles they have always had. The only changes are either superficial or just plain worse or less interesting for the world they wish to build.
Here are Noob, Cyrax, and Sektor's endings
Sektor and Noob speedrun Mythologies (hey guys remember mythologies, haha cool right haha rad haha) and Cyrax is boring. How fun. Here are the animalities. They were free. That's nice. They were... okay. A couple were neat.
Edit: I hate shippers
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