The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

[fortnitesmasherX]

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These are posts from 2022 talking about his nursing home dishwashing job (which he lost because he pushed an old lady because she was "entering the kitchen too aggressively"). I like how you could totally believe these are posts from the future talking about his new trolley pusher job because he is literally, physically incapable of learning.

I don't know about you guys, but this just made me cry. Everyone is just so mean to him. It reminds me of Charlie Gordon and what happened at his job at the bakery.

 

[GOD'S STRONGEST BUILDERBEAR]

So he just has the streams on mute while in the chat?

What the fuck does he do all day if he's not even watching the streams?

Actually coming back to the diabetes blindness, I believe it already took hold of Nolan

Heres a representation of how normal person sees a stream


And heres how I believe Nolan sees a stream

 

[Sky Shouter]

Actually coming back to the diabetes blindness, I believe it already took hold of Nolan

Heres a representation of how normal person sees a stream
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And heres how I believe Nolan sees a stream
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Bro, have you seen his Professor Farnsworth-prescription glasses?



I'd be surprised if he could see his own penis without them

 

[GOD'S STRONGEST BUILDERBEAR]

I'd be surprised if he could see his own penis without them

You cant see it without glasses either, ask superduper

 

[Nenélove]

I realize that this is a joke but what Topo Chico has written below is correct. Nobody here is going to celebrate cowtipping. In fact, if it was obvious that someone from here was fucking with him I would be inclined to take action against them.

We are Ex-Kiwis ffs, do the fags here forget their code of not fucking with the cow as soon a joshua moon isn't on their asses no more?
I'd support temp bans tbh.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

We are Ex-Kiwis ffs, do the fags here forget their code of not fucking with the cow as soon a joshua moon isn't on their asses no more?
I'd support temp bans tbh.

they do several users have participated in known cow tipping. Murray for one not often but still.

 

[GOD'S STRONGEST BUILDERBEAR]

code of not fucking with the cow as soon a joshua moon isn't on their asses no more?

Tbh new kiwis are happy to tip all day every day. There retards can't even write a thread right, half of the prospering grounds looks like 15 year olds manosphere enjoyer's twitter thread. Its dark times for kiwifarms, sharty was a mistake.

 

[El Rrata]

We are Ex-Kiwis ffs, do the fags here forget their code of not fucking with the cow as soon a joshua moon isn't on their asses no more?
I'd support temp bans tbh.

Johnny doesn't have the power to temp ban Prostate, unfortunately.

 

[VSoyBoy]

Bro, have you seen his Professor Farnsworth-prescription glasses?

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I'd be surprised if he could see his own penis without them

I finally did what I always thought about and adjusted the image so his face is the same width throughout.

Spoiler: Big nose nolan

I tried the same adjustment the other way around as well.

Spoiler: slim face nolan

 

[Sky Shouter]

I finally did what I always thought about and adjusted the image so his face is the same width throughout.

Spoiler: Big nose nolan

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I tried the same adjustment the other way around as well.

Spoiler: slim face nolan

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Big Nose Nolan is literally just this thing

 

[Hotdogs Aplenty]

Bro, have you seen his Professor Farnsworth-prescription glasses?

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I'd be surprised if he could see his own penis without them

Is it just me or is head on his neck crooked?

 

[di26iaa]

Finally, someone can't stand Norlan anymore.

The King thinks he/she is the only one whining. This proves that if you don't kick him in the balls, he'll think you agree with him.

Another user asked 'May I kick him from the server.?'

 

[niggaphil]

Finally, someone can't stand Norlan anymore.
View attachment 81795
The King thinks he/she is the only one whining. This proves that if you don't kick him in the balls, he'll think you agree with him.

Another user asked 'May I kick him from the server.?'
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After seeing this post, I went back to Gura ChinkCord and see what's going on (since I am too busy in playing Monster Hunter Wilds)........

His Penis EXPLODED in the Gura ChinkCord!!!!!!!

Edit: For the reference

 

[Topo Chico]

The King has never heard of Tyranny of the majority, tsk tsk, you'd expect a King to understand simple political concepts like this but I guess it slipped his mind.

He was still horny after double posting under a feet picture, phew, glad I scrolled down. Shame on me for doubting His intelligence...

 

[Nenélove]

Finally, someone can't stand Norlan anymore.
View attachment 81795
The King thinks he/she is the only one whining. This proves that if you don't kick him in the balls, he'll think you agree with him.

Another user asked 'May I kick him from the server.?'
View attachment 81796

It makes me ashamed to see someone so utterly unaware of how much of nuisance he's being to others and pigheadedly refusing to understand that hey, maybe other people don't want to be bothered all day by your inane shit and real human relationships are formed by making concessions in your behavior while also demanding the same from others in a give-and-take system of cordial coexistence.

Nolan's behavior is truly tri-partite, one part is his lack of social awareness due to autism, that isn't really his fault, another third is simply his upbringing in an age and society which discourage becoming a well adjusted member of normal human collectives by all means, and instead encourage self-centered delusions and fruitless rat races for vainglorious "approval" by strangers in lieu of actual meaningful relationships.

But the rest is all Nolan, he is simply too self-centered and self rightgeous to accept that he's in the wrong, and too lazy and undisciplined to do anything about it.

 

[RestlessRain]

The King has never heard of Tyranny of the majority, tsk tsk, you'd expect a King to understand simple political concepts like this but I guess it slipped his mind.

Nolan is proof that not all votes should be counted equally.

 

[Nenélove]

The King has never heard of Tyranny of the majority, tsk tsk, you'd expect a King to understand simple political concepts like this but I guess it slipped his mind.

He was still horny after double posting under a feet picture, phew, glad I scrolled down. Shame on me for doubting His intelligence...

Nolan exemplifies all of the worst aspects of the modern american:

Too stupid to know what he's talking about, but too sure of himself and the value of his individual opinions to ever spend more than two seconds thinking if he should spew his drivel for everyone to laugh internally at him for.

Independent in nothing but name but obsessed with whatever shred of agency he has in our evermore interconnected world, so much so that he bulldozes over others' opinions and rights in the pursue of his own selfish desires. Let nobody tell him that there are rules and limits in this world.

Obsessed with being part of the "right side of history", of winning and destroying the perceived evils of the world, no matter the cost to culture, beauty, social cohesion, diplomacy or basic decency all for ending up on top of a rigged system in a world controlled by the same 10 assholes who have convinced him he's fighting the good fight.

Drunk on his own meaningless importance, obsessed with fame, thinking the entire world is looking down upon him and his actions and that everyone he meets cares about his forgettable existence. More focused on getting vain praise and flattery than actual respectful criticism and help from those who are vastly more accomplished than him.

And lastly, disrespectful to everyone he comes across, specially his own flesh and blood; who have, in their own twisted ways driven by love and compassion allowed a monster into their lives. But he's too obsessed with being the victim of these loving abuses that he refuses to look inward and walk forward instead always falling back on having been wronged by someone else.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

Nolan exemplifies all of the worst aspects of the modern american:

Too stupid to know what he's talking about, but too sure of himself and the value of his individual opinions to ever spend more than two seconds thinking if he should spew his drivel for everyone to laugh internally at him for.

Independent in nothing but name but obsessed with whatever shred of agency he has in our evermore interconnected world, so much so that he bulldozes over others' opinions and rights in the pursue of his own selfish desires. Let nobody tell him that there are rules and limits in this world.

Obsessed with being part of the "right side of history", of winning and destroying the perceived evils of the world, no matter the cost to culture, beauty, social cohesion, diplomacy or basic decency all for ending up on top of a rigged system in a world controlled by the same 10 assholes who have convinced him he's fighting the good fight.

Drunk on his own meaningless importance, obsessed with fame, thinking the entire world is looking down upon him and his actions and that everyone he meets cares about his forgettable existence. More focused on getting vain praise and flattery than actual respectful criticism and help from those who are vastly more accomplished than him.

And lastly, disrespectful to everyone he comes across, specially his own flesh and blood; who have, in their own twisted ways driven by love and compassion allowed a monster into their lives. But he's too obsessed with being the victim of these loving abuses that he refuses to look inward and walk forward instead always falling back on having been wronged by someone else.

he should run for office. he would make a great asspuppet.

 

[niggaphil]

Somone in Gura chinkcord decided to touch the Nolan poops..... thinking

translation: looks like it is useless in communicating with him.....

good luck in fixing nolan




Edit:
If @superduper and Scoots cant fix him, i dont think a chink could do that as well

 

[RestlessRain]

he should run for office. he would make a great asspuppet.

Digging into the ice-cream with his shit-encrusted hands was actually practice for digging into public funds.

Smearing his brother's belongings with dog piss diapers was practice for smearing his political opponents.

Oh, and spamming Chinese discords was practice for a future in international diplomacy.