The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

[Topo Chico]

Someone should REALLY share this thread to that discord. Let's see if the mods would still not ban Nolan after they read the deets.

No one should take any action that would impact Nolan in his natural habitat or otherwise influence the wild Nolan. The reason he gets banned from the Nth+1 chinkcord will be better than anything someone could concoct; that's what makes Nolan, The King. He's the author, we're the reader(s). if nolan makes someone concerned enough, any action taken shouldn't be posted here because: if it was a genuine worry the benefit isn't from some praise on an austic internet forum, but from the positive change you caused, and two, weening disrupts the cow which is inherently gay.

Reading this in the most benign light, that you wish the Chinese knew what we knew of Nolan, is humorous and would likely make them interreact in a way we might want them to, however, it's unnatural and goes against the ethos of "look, don't touch." Touching the art gets messy fast, and may irrevocably change how he behaves, which is a shame.

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

No one should take any action that would impact Nolan in his natural habitat or otherwise influence the wild Nolan. The reason he gets banned from the Nth+1 chinkcord will be better than anything someone could concoct; that's what makes Nolan, The King. He's the author, we're the reader(s). if nolan makes someone concerned enough, any action taken shouldn't be posted here because: if it was a genuine worry the benefit isn't from some praise on an austic internet forum, but from the positive change you caused, and two, weening disrupts the cow which is inherently gay.

Reading this in the most benign light, that you wish the Chinese knew what we knew of Nolan, is humorous and would likely make them interreact in a way we might want them to, however, it's unnatural and goes against the ethos of "look, don't touch." Touching the art gets messy fast, and may irrevocably change how he behaves, which is a shame.

Agreed, I'd prefer to see how this all unfolds instead of interjecting into the situation. That's where the real comedy is.

 

[Twin Adder]

Someone should REALLY share this thread to that discord. Let's see if the mods would still not ban Nolan after they read the deets.

The chinks already found this place. There's screenshots here of the chinks trying to figure out what the registration answer is. I think @niggaphil mentioned that on the KFP chink discord, the poll on whether to explode Nolan's penis or not had 1 vote for no and that 1 person was a Gura chink mod.

If the Gura server doesn't ban him soon, I'm half convinced the reason why is one of the chink mods (who may or may not have read this thread) finds having a pet retard on their server amusing.

E:

Nolan update - The bugmen know about us now because of his antics

Here it is for the newfriends who weren't there 100+ pages ago. I'm gonna assume the population of Chinese Holofags hanging out in Discords is small enough that who Nolan is is common knowledge by now.

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

The chinks already found this place. There's screenshots here of the chinks trying to figure out what the registration answer is. I think @niggaphil mentioned that on the KFP chink discord, the poll on whether to explode Nolan's penis or not had 1 vote for no and that 1 person was a Gura chink mod.

If the Gura server doesn't ban him soon, I'm half convinced the reason why is one of the chink mods (who may or may not have read this thread) finds having a pet retard on their server amusing.

I still can't get over how the chinks found the Nolan OP exactly 5 months after I posted it.

They're linking directly to the Jambalaya Nolan Post!

 

[niggaphil]

Before I sleep, I saw a horrifying news of Nolan:

If he get this job, I am really worry for his victims in the future

 

[Dispirited Helmet]

Before I sleep, I saw a horrifying news of Nolan:

View attachment 81698
If he get this job, I am really worry for his victims in the future

>dietary aide



Dumbfuck can't even manage his own sugar intake and he's interviewing to be a dietary aide? What does he bring to the table that could possibly help someone with dietary concerns? Is he going to walk up and say "Your diet needs more dog diaper"? Ooh, maybe he'll instruct people on the best way to use your hands to eat ice cream after not washing them in the bathroom!

 

[Sky Shouter]

Before I sleep, I saw a horrifying news of Nolan:

View attachment 81698
If he get this job, I am really worry for his victims in the future

Let's assume he somehow gets hired. I can already see it now:

Crush: Crying so fucking hard right now. My egotistical supervisor yelled at me because someone got sick from the food today, and he said it's me with no evidence whatsoever. He said you're supposed to wash your hands before putting on gloves, and I said that's not fair because I was not even wearing gloves! I tried to tell him nobody told me that I have to wash my hands and wear gloves, and how could prove that it was me who got the person sick, but he cut me off so rudely and said yes you do because I saw you picking your nose without washing your hands. Now I'm getting fired and it's not even my fault! *Sobs* Can I get a hug?

 

[Topo Chico]

>dietary aide



Dumbfuck can't even manage his own sugar intake and he's interviewing to be a dietary aide? What does he bring to the table that could possibly help someone with dietary concerns? Is he going to walk up and say "Your diet needs more dog diaper"? Ooh, maybe he'll instruct people on the best way to use your hands to eat ice cream after not washing them in the bathroom!

Dietary aide could be a fluff title for something as simple as meal cart pusher at a nursing home, which I bet is exactly what it is. They're giving him a tard job and going to give him 10.45/h (Ohio min wage) part time 100%. Well, assuming he doesn't shit his pants in the final interview. The King can buy Nitro and memberships and merch with the fat stacks he's about to grind. The world is coming up Nolan.

 

[Superduper Samurai]

Good god i know the elderly and the sick are already abused by America but unleashing Nolan is a bridge too far

 

[fortnitesmasherX]

Dietary aide could be a fluff title for something as simple as meal cart pusher at a nursing home, which I bet is exactly what it is. They're giving him a tard job and going to give him 10.45/h (Ohio min wage) part time 100%. Well, assuming he doesn't shit his pants in the final interview. The King can buy Nitro and memberships and merch with the fat stacks he's about to grind. The world is coming up Nolan.

I hope his parents will have control of his finances. He'll be happy enough if they drip-feed him money on a needed basis.

 

[Saturnus]

I'm giving Nolan at least 2 weeks before he gets some sort of write-up from his boss or supervisor. He absolutely had to be on his phone to "lmaooo GYATT" in a stream chat instead of working.

 

[ex_lurker]

Do we know if Nolan is retarded enough to qualify for disability?

 

[fortnitesmasherX]

Do we know if Nolan is retarded enough to qualify for disability?

You mean like Proctor? No, I don't think so.

 

[Topo Chico]

Do we know if Nolan is retarded enough to qualify for disability?

Due to his profound mental illness, autism, and diabetes he might be qualified, but he'd need to go see a social worker and fill lots of paperwork and go to a lot of Dr/Psychiatrist/Psychologists to get it all formalized. Their family seems to be barely treading water, so that doesn't seem likely to happen any time soon.

I hope his parents will have control of his finances. He'll be happy enough if they drip-feed him money on a needed basis.

They won't/don't unless Nolan has signed over power of attorney or a conservatorship has been established by a judge.

 

[Punished Anime Discusser]

Do we know if Nolan is retarded enough to qualify for disability?

Surely he is, but he'd probably get institutionalized if he spilled the beans to the psychiatrist and other people he had to go through to get actually signed up for it.

 

[Latte'Ninba]

Someone should REALLY share this thread to that discord. Let's see if the mods would still not ban Nolan after they read the deets.

Even if you wanted to, there's no point. All you have to do is wait and watch because Nolan is going to zero in on the fact he was told he was fine doing what he does.
This WILL almost 100% inevitably end with him taking to heart that he "can do whatever he wants" and end up getting aggressive with someone over something stupid. He used to do the same thing here. You could have 5 paragraphs and several crayon charts explaining how maybe what he didn't wasn't exactly wrong, but here's 42 reasons why it was dumb, annoying, obnoxious, or some other reasoning to not do it. And of all that, he will take one singular sentence, probably PART of a sentence that says "you aren't exactly wrong but" and read that as nullifying every other word so he can do what he wants. When it comes to discord and forums watching as it unfolds is easily the best part.

 

[returntomonke]

So you're telling me that the retard that punched her mother and sister, led the latter to suicide for his retarded antics, Can't care for shit for his dog and uses said dog's pee to commit biological warfare on his brother is going to be around one of the most vulnerable demographics? and CARE for them?
I give him a week ill he gets scolded for being on his phone LMAAAOOOOing instead of pushing a fuckin trolley, and two weeks until he starts bringing pee in a jar to drop the old farts brushes in it. Maybe even less if an elder mocks a random vtuber he is watching.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

So you're telling me that the retard that punched her mother and sister, led the latter to suicide for his retarded antics, Can't care for shit for his dog and uses said dog's pee to commit biological warfare on his brother is going to be around one of the most vulnerable demographics? and CARE for them?
I give him a week ill he gets scolded for being on his phone LMAAAOOOOing instead of pushing a fuckin trolley, and two weeks until he starts bringing pee in a jar to drop the old farts brushes in it. Maybe even less if an elder mocks a random vtuber he is watching.

I really hope it's over "political views" I would love to see nolan trying to talk up german politics to a war vet since hes such an expert.

 

[Twin Adder]

These are posts from 2022 talking about his nursing home dishwashing job (which he lost because he pushed an old lady because she was "entering the kitchen too aggressively"). I like how you could totally believe these are posts from the future talking about his new trolley pusher job because he is literally, physically incapable of learning.

 

[Johnny Jambalaya]

Someone should REALLY share this thread to that discord. Let's see if the mods would still not ban Nolan after they read the deets.

I realize that this is a joke but what Topo Chico has written below is correct. Nobody here is going to celebrate cowtipping. In fact, if it was obvious that someone from here was fucking with him I would be inclined to take action against them.

No one should take any action that would impact Nolan in his natural habitat or otherwise influence the wild Nolan. The reason he gets banned from the Nth+1 chinkcord will be better than anything someone could concoct; that's what makes Nolan, The King. He's the author, we're the reader(s). if nolan makes someone concerned enough, any action taken shouldn't be posted here because: if it was a genuine worry the benefit isn't from some praise on an austic internet forum, but from the positive change you caused, and two, weening disrupts the cow which is inherently gay.

Reading this in the most benign light, that you wish the Chinese knew what we knew of Nolan, is humorous and would likely make them interreact in a way we might want them to, however, it's unnatural and goes against the ethos of "look, don't touch." Touching the art gets messy fast, and may irrevocably change how he behaves, which is a shame.