"Doesn't matter. If there's a hole, there's a way"Axel Syrios

The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

Rinfriend

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 27, 2024
I'm aware.

That profile still doesn't suggest adulthood.
You'd be surprised. I've seen 29 year olds text like the 2006-2014 furries. You know, "zOmg wtff!!! x3" type shit. All unironic.
Fucked up.
 

Slutpuppies

unity love, resident luxiem fangull
Joined:  Oct 3, 2022

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
B Achilles is a rando in the cord that talk random shit pull out from his arse, and making Nolan feels good (aka grooming Nolan's bussy). I suspect he is an underage kid as he stated that he does not have a state ID

Edit: Assuming he is Taiwanese, a Taiwanese only able to get his/her state id at the age of 14 (source)

View attachment 72973
Ok, that kid is in danger.

Nolan is a equal opportunity 😭 offender.
 

Latte'Ninba

God is dead. You aren't. Keep running.
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
"I will not work, and will get fired within the first week if I get a job, how could my egomaniacal father not understand this?"

...So how long until he realizes that the core issue is his unwillingness to work or change his behavior? because if he's not willing to support himself, then his parents will one day no longer be around to support him, so who/what pays for his internet and place of living?

whoever this B Achilles is, the blood of Nolan's family will be on their hands when he inevitably snaps
"I've been trying! But also here's why I didn't even try." I like how he just has to flat out admit "No he's right, THIS TIME I didn't even bother applying." on top of it while bitching about how awful his dad is for (correctly) assuming Nolan wouldn't do what he was supposed to. The classic! He's so hypocritical because he always complains about Nolan doing the same things and calling him out on it despite Nolan doing the same things that need called out. But he won't make the punishments worse so he's totally the actual idiot!
(To be fair this is arguably the only point Nolan's ever made about this, his dad SHOULD actually do something more.)

I also appreciate how he pointedly just tells this dude "He made my day worse because getting online is harder now, and my autistic rants aren't handled well by tts" because any moment he's not online is just pure suffering for the soul, dad cannot understand the depths of his being and has no clue just how necessary it is the internet hears me cry out in pain! NO INTERNET?!?! I HAVE NO CONNECTION AND I MUST LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (AND SUPPORT THE CAUSE™️)

That other dude needs to stop enabling this tard too. "If he really wants you to sleep he should do a schedule"
My guy.. he LITERALLY posted an entire fucking work sheet to you and Nolan's commentary was essentially "I could half ass or totally skip most of this." Most my jobs had less professional task lists and people knew how to just get the shit done with. WHICH by the way is a the usual big fucking tell with him commenting "He told me when he wants me to sleep and when to wake up but nothing more." Dad knows you're so fucking stupid he basically did a list for everything but reminding you to breathe.
He shouldn't have to knock on your door and go "Nolan it's 10:30 time to log off!" Then follows this up with "And nothing he does makes me go to bed earlier anyway!" Well why the fuck would anyone expect you to start doing so now just because he specified a time or whatever then? It's almost like turning off the internet is supposed to be a hint to get off the Internet. "He should reward me for not actually doing anything or changing my habits by enabling them more because I definitely show myself to be trusthworthy with 12 hour "naps" leading to pet neglect and staying up anyway despite knowing I should be going offline."

You know I'm actually curious what would happen if he DID take his phone by this point. I'm sure a hole in a wall or some diapers are involved but Nolan keeps saying it's the reason nothing is effective. It's a shame it won't happen though because I'm going to assume the main reason he doesn't take it is because this guy has like 12 alarms to do his diabetes shit + whatever else.
 
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reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
1720144948451.png


Nolan got banned somewhere yesterday. Anyone got a read on where?

Edit: Nevermind, found it. Appears the be the Chinese Mori Calliope server. Give me a minute to parse.
 

RestlessRain

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 21, 2022
View attachment 73072

Nolan got banned somewhere yesterday. Anyone got a read on where?

Edit: Nevermind, found it. Appears the be the Chinese Mori Calliope server. Give me a minute to parse.
Who wants to bet why Nolan got banned?
1) Generally shitting up the place,
2) Nolan decided to talk about Communism,
3) The Chinese didn't like seeing a man sobbing and asking for hugs
4) The Chinese wanted some revenge for all the shit America has done to China in the past
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
View attachment 73072

Nolan got banned somewhere yesterday. Anyone got a read on where?

Edit: Nevermind, found it. Appears the be the Chinese Mori Calliope server. Give me a minute to parse.
I was wondering the same thing when i saw his bitching in Gura Chink Cord. Never know it is Mori related. I will go and dig it out later, and update this post

Edit: I guess this is shadowbanned from the Calli Chink Cord Management.

Nolan: What could possibly go wrong if I SHITTING ON the POOR PEOPLE who work as wage slaves and can't watch their Oshi?





:nolanhugs?:

Edit 2: Reinigen has posted the screen cap earlier. So I will delete my screen cap.
 
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reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Who wants to bet why Nolan got banned?
1) Generally shitting up the place,
2) Nolan decided to talk about Communism,
3) The Chinese didn't like seeing a man sobbing and asking for hugs
4) The Chinese wanted some revenge for all the shit America has done to China in the past
Let's see what it was!

Our story begins, as it usually does, with Nolan "Live reacting" by himself in a server with the occasional confused Chinese interspersed.
o9lpid.png

wuyp2u.png


However after a bit, Mr Crush notices he's practically the only one reacting to what's going on. This is mainly because he can't understand that because of a thing called "Time Zones", most of China is at work during this time of day while it's the middle of the night for him.

ku7kwq.png

>Chinese person - logical reason why no one is here
>Nolan -
3zuowe

bwteyb.png


Nolan was banned shortly thereafter.

Now, what was his crime you may ask? Well, as it turns out the guy he mouthed off to - Evan W. - Appears to be one of the top server mods. GG Nolan, mouthing off to another server moderator yet again.
 

Stunned But Dumb

Well-known member
Joined:  Jan 29, 2023

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
However after a bit, Mr Crush notices he's practically the only one reacting to what's going on. This is mainly because he can't understand that because of a thing called "Time Zones", most of China is at work during this time of day while it's the middle of the night for him.

Now, what was his crime you may ask? Well, as it turns out the guy he mouthed off to - Evan W. - Appears to be one of the top server mods. GG Nolan, mouthing off to another server moderator yet again.
To give more context, the time where he bitched on the top mod is approximately 10.30am - 12pm, the busiest time for the Taiwanese (this is Taiwan discord) to work and can only listen to live stream as a background noise.

Now the only cuck cord that tolerate Nolan is the Gura Chink Cord.
 

fortnitesmasherX

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 14, 2023

Latte'Ninba

God is dead. You aren't. Keep running.
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
To give more context, the time where he bitched on the top mod is approximately 10.30am - 12pm, the busiest time for the Taiwanese (this is Taiwan discord) to work and can only listen to live stream as a background noise.

Now the only cuck cord that tolerate Nolan is the Gura Chink Cord.
Don't worry, his new bff will valiantly defend him and tell him the ban wasn't his fault. You know, despite someone calmly talking in his direction which of course led to Nolan stabbing them 38 times in the back angrily telling them off for literally answering his question. That part I struck through is almost assuredly on it's way.

I'm LMAOOOOOOO'ing into the void, where's my asspats and engagement?? *Gets a chill and concise answer* No not that way you dumb cunt, don't even talk to me when you don't like me asshole. Why the fuck would you even talk to me when all you do is block me then act like I'M the asshole? Fuck off.

Nolan with that 0-10 match up vs mods but still comes out swinging over literally anything. The guy has a worse record than Glass Joe.
 

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
View attachment 73072

Nolan got banned somewhere yesterday. Anyone got a read on where?

Edit: Nevermind, found it. Appears the be the Chinese Mori Calliope server. Give me a minute to parse.
Let's see what it was!

Our story begins, as it usually does, with Nolan "Live reacting" by himself in a server with the occasional confused Chinese interspersed.
o9lpid.png

wuyp2u.png


However after a bit, Mr Crush notices he's practically the only one reacting to what's going on. This is mainly because he can't understand that because of a thing called "Time Zones", most of China is at work during this time of day while it's the middle of the night for him.

ku7kwq.png

>Chinese person - logical reason why no one is here
>Nolan -
3zuowe

bwteyb.png


Nolan was banned shortly thereafter.

Now, what was his crime you may ask? Well, as it turns out the guy he mouthed off to - Evan W. - Appears to be one of the top server mods. GG Nolan, mouthing off to another server moderator yet again.
To give more context, the time where he bitched on the top mod is approximately 10.30am - 12pm, the busiest time for the Taiwanese (this is Taiwan discord) to work and can only listen to live stream as a background noise.

Now the only cuck cord that tolerate Nolan is the Gura Chink Cord.
Poor Nolan. He feels so unsafe after people bully him off the internet.
:nolanhugs?:

He just wants to be safe, guys. Why can't anyone understand that?
Ah, so ends another chapter in Der Ewiger Nolan. Condemned to wander the Internet, bereft of home.

"From place to place the homeless Jew Nolan wanders in ever-shifting exile, since the time when he was failing to perform chores in the abode of his father and has been suffering the penalty for murder, and exhausted the good will of a forum, and having fondled the ice cream with his unwashed hands, and the Discord mod whom he denied, paying the price of spergery."

the_wandering_nolan.jpg
Not sure why the post got all fucked up after saving the edit.
 
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Nenélove

Chief Commissar of Holochistan
Early Adopter
Nene's Pet Latinx
Latinx/Latine
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Let's see what it was!

Our story begins, as it usually does, with Nolan "Live reacting" by himself in a server with the occasional confused Chinese interspersed.
o9lpid.png

wuyp2u.png


However after a bit, Mr Crush notices he's practically the only one reacting to what's going on. This is mainly because he can't understand that because of a thing called "Time Zones", most of China is at work during this time of day while it's the middle of the night for him.

ku7kwq.png

>Chinese person - logical reason why no one is here
>Nolan -
3zuowe

bwteyb.png


Nolan was banned shortly thereafter.

Now, what was his crime you may ask? Well, as it turns out the guy he mouthed off to - Evan W. - Appears to be one of the top server mods. GG Nolan, mouthing off to another server moderator yet again.
Jesus has Nolan gotten even more aggro? The sheer whiplash when he's going full chimpout at the guy talking to him normally and then turns around and instantly returns to liveposting like a toddler, if I didn't know he's autistic I would think he's severely bipolar.
 

GOD'S STRONGEST BUILDERBEAR

"Shut up, Dazzle. I will clip your balls" -SB
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 12, 2022
"poor them"
He clearly prides himself for being a colossal waste of oxygen. If i had to choose between living with him and living with compton nigga, id take a nigga cause atleast hell take care of his dog, also if my xbox dissapears i can rest well knowing that the money was spent on tangible crack and not on intangible weirdly high detailed picture of a horse dick

If I didn't know he's autistic I would think he's severely bipolar.
Not mutually exclusive, you know. He could be cluster B autistic
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
In the ends, he is just an attention whore in discord like chris chan and DSP. He wants all of the positive reaction from the people when he is shitposting with low quality effort, and he has the right to insult you if you disagree with him, just like DSP.

However, he does not have the power of DSP to outright ban anyone that disagree with him, and his retarded action cause him mass-ban in internet. Now he acts like a victims, blames on everyone requires hugs and getting his bussy molested by other people, which is similar to chris-chan
 

reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Jesus has Nolan gotten even more aggro? The sheer whiplash when he's going full chimpout at the guy talking to him normally and then turns around and instantly returns to liveposting like a toddler, if I didn't know he's autistic I would think he's severely bipolar.

Not mutually exclusive, you know. He could be cluster B autistic
Yea, the "Autism + Undiagnosed Cluster B Personality Disorder" has been a favored theory of mine for a while now.
 

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
Yea, the "Autism + Undiagnosed Cluster B Personality Disorder" has been a favored theory of mine for a while now.
It is incredibly common for people that have a diagnosed mental illness to have an unknown comorbidity when the undiagnosed mental illness has overlapping symptoms as the mental illness that was diagnosed.
 
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RestlessRain

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 21, 2022
Yea, the "Autism + Undiagnosed Cluster B Personality Disorder" has been a favored theory of mine for a while now.
So, here's a picture detailing the symptoms of the four Cluster B personalities:
1720160583590.png


Obviously a diagnosis requires careful examination in-person by a professional blah blah blah who cares. Let's diagnose Nolan from our computer chairs.

1720161042116.png

Antisocial and histrionic are the two disorders I'd guess Nolan has.
 

Nigel Nigerman

Choo Choo Motherfuckers!
Joined:  Dec 22, 2022
Let's see what it was!

Our story begins, as it usually does, with Nolan "Live reacting" by himself in a server with the occasional confused Chinese interspersed.
o9lpid.png

wuyp2u.png


However after a bit, Mr Crush notices he's practically the only one reacting to what's going on. This is mainly because he can't understand that because of a thing called "Time Zones", most of China is at work during this time of day while it's the middle of the night for him.

ku7kwq.png

>Chinese person - logical reason why no one is here
>Nolan -
3zuowe

bwteyb.png


Nolan was banned shortly thereafter.

Now, what was his crime you may ask? Well, as it turns out the guy he mouthed off to - Evan W. - Appears to be one of the top server mods. GG Nolan, mouthing off to another server moderator yet again.

:gloomiLaugh::gloomiLaugh::gloomiLaugh:
:pankosmug:
:selenpointandlaugh::selenpointandlaugh::selenpointandlaugh:
:crushbanned:
:baewhatacunt:
 
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