The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

[Awoogers]

Same. I don't know how he made it through the interview process where someone thought he was best candidate. I want to interview the person who hired him and ask wtf is going on in his brain. My money is on nepotism instead of him actively seeking it on his own, but its all speculation.

Also, we're at the point of a social experiment going so awry that we should all get PhD's when this inevitably ends up with him in jail or deleting all of his social media. Unleashing him on the world probably wasn't the best call, but here we are documenting him like a new species. I'm glad to just be an extra in the background going "OH SHIT NIGGA DID YOU SEE THAT?!" while this all unfolds over time.

yeah thats what i thought too its either nepotism working its wonders giving our retarded mascot an actual semblance of contribruting(?) to the society or the interviewer was just that dumb

 

[reinigen]

im more surprised that this bitch actually has a job rather than him keeping it and such

Same. I don't know how he made it through the interview process where someone thought he was best candidate. I want to interview the person who hired him and ask wtf is going on in his brain. My money is on nepotism instead of him actively seeking it on his own, but its all speculation.

Also, we're at the point of a social experiment going so awry that we should all get PhD's when this inevitably ends up with him in jail or deleting all of his social media. Unleashing him on the world probably wasn't the best call, but here we are documenting him like a new species. I'm glad to just be an extra in the background going "OH SHIT NIGGA DID YOU SEE THAT?!" while this all unfolds over time.

yeah thats what i thought too its either nepotism working its wonders giving our retarded mascot an actual semblance of contribruting(?) to the society or the interviewer was just that dumb

Don't get too excited you two. People had mentioned that his job was being a dishwasher. As to how he got it, it's not unusual for low level menial jobs to get filled by working with a disability outreach program. It's why you'll see people with downs syndrome or other obvious conditions doing jobs like collecting garbage at a store or something. A lot of time those businesses get major tax writeoffs/grants for doing that, and the positive PR of "working with the disabled community" they can brag about.

 

[Johnny Jambalaya]

Same. I don't know how he made it through the interview process where someone thought he was best candidate. I want to interview the person who hired him and ask wtf is going on in his brain. My money is on nepotism instead of him actively seeking it on his own, but its all speculation.

Also, we're at the point of a social experiment going so awry that we should all get PhD's when this inevitably ends up with him in jail or deleting all of his social media. Unleashing him on the world probably wasn't the best call, but here we are documenting him like a new species. I'm glad to just be an extra in the background going "OH SHIT NIGGA DID YOU SEE THAT?!" while this all unfolds over time.

I'm pretty sure he was a dishwasher or something similar and the only requirement for a job like that is to have a pulse.

 

[Latte'Ninba]

I presume pretty much anybody hiring will figure "Absolutely ANY retard on the planet can handle this." They probably found out within the month that THIS particular retard is some weird de-evolution of Ohian experiment. If he's sperging out about sticking his fucking hand into the ice cream like winnie the pooh and getting called out for it, imagine the absolute potential of being told he's not cleaning dishes right.

"I ran it through the machine, it's clean!"
"Mr Crush, there's still food you didn't scrape off of the bottom of the pan stuck to it. This tray here has actual raw chicken on it still... Wait there's no soap in this water, did you even use any?"
"Who CARES?! You're just going to use it again anyway and it's food! People will just eat it! WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME FOR DOING MY JOB?!"

Seriously I'm not gonna lie, the ice cream thing actually fucks with me lol. I used to drink milk out the cartoon, my mother said ew that's nasty do not. I stopped.

Also I like the admittance that "I know thing is wrong, and I ALMOST deleted this because you might focus on me doing thing instead of on me being sad about being yelled at for said thing. I don't care if they had a point, asspats please."
This guy continues to be a fascinating case study.

 

[Scoots]

I wanna know how that whole facebook thing went.

The Facebook messenger thing is going fine

Also when he brought the brother thing to me I told him to focus on the valid complaint brother crush had and not the superfluous bs way he went about the argument

He agreed that was fair

as I've said before he often latches on to the wording of an argument and misses the forest for the trees

Anyone who genuinely wants to know how I handled any particular incident is welcome to tag me

I'll give my honest thoughts

Otherwise I'm not gonna be here

 

[electronic elephant]

I don't usually nolanpost, but I saw this bit of news on the homeland.

https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/threads/virtual-youtubers.69525/page-7519#post-16675916

Nolan is becoming a boobro.

 

[Brosnan Pierce Brosnan]

I don't usually nolanpost, but I saw this bit of news on the homeland.

https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/threads/virtual-youtubers.69525/page-7519#post-16675916

Nolan is becoming a boobro.
View attachment 41224

I should check Yuko out. She’s seems like a ton of fun.

edit: I’m sex positive and you guys compared her to Gura, she seems fine for me.

 

[Hff201]

I don't usually nolanpost, but I saw this bit of news on the homeland.

https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/threads/virtual-youtubers.69525/page-7519#post-16675916

Nolan is becoming a boobro.
View attachment 41224

I'm relying on you guys to screencap when he gets banned from five different Discords for posting "She just coomed on her plushie! LMAOOOOOO!".

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

I should check Yuko out. She’s seems like a ton of fun.

edit: I’m sex positive and you guys compared her to Gura, she seems fine for me.

It's kinda weird he says he's sex positive when the only time he's touched a woman was when he recreated the Nicholas Cage Slap of God meme on his sister

 

[Aquatic Novellite]

I don't usually nolanpost, but I saw this bit of news on the homeland.

https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojhmqruw2nit3uejrpiagrxeuxiyxcyd.onion/threads/virtual-youtubers.69525/page-7519#post-16675916

Nolan is becoming a boobro.
View attachment 41224

GET THIS FUCK AWAY FROM MY OSHI!

(Shiori, not Yuko, to be clear)

 

[RestlessRain]

GET THIS FUCK AWAY FROM MY OSHI!

(Shiori, not Yuko, to be clear)

You know you're going to be watching a Shiori stream, you casually glance at chat and you'll see LMMMAAAAAAOOOOO.

 

[Aquatic Novellite]

You know you're going to be watching a Shiori stream, you casually glance at chat and you'll see LMMMAAAAAAOOOOO.

I remain hopeful that Shiori having the lowest subscriber count of her gen will serve as Nolan repellant.

 

[Nenélove]

I remain hopeful that Shiori having the lowest subscriber count of her gen will serve as Nolan repellant.

She really doesn't seem like his type, she's too niche.

 

[BlueSharkTV]

She really doesn't seem like his type, she's too niche.

well any time nolan's watching someone, he types in chat a thing the vchuuba he's watching said 5 seconds ago adding hilarious! lmaoooo, so i doubt his monkey brain cares what he's watching and he just wants a chat to shit up.

 

[Seth]

I looked on the official phase discord. Here is his last live posting session liveposting off a pippa stream. For context, everyone had fairly normal liveposting conversations. Then there was nolan. Alone in his world.



And this is just page 1

 

[Hff201]

It's kinda weird he says he's sex positive when the only time he's touched a woman was when he recreated the Nicholas Cage Slap of God meme on his sister

"Sex positive" is the politically correct term for "horny". It's what feminist men say when they want to encourage women to send them nudes without getting a Twitlonger written about them.

 

[CalciumAnimal]

"Sex positive" is the politically correct term for "horny". It's what feminist men say when they want to encourage women to send them nudes without getting a Twitlonger written about them.

that's body positive sex positive is "yes i want to have the sex" because nolan is a retard and coomerbrained into conflating the two.

 

[Nenélove]

I looked on the official phase discord. Here is his last live posting session liveposting off a pippa stream. For context, everyone had fairly normal liveposting conversations. Then there was nolan. Alone in his world.

View attachment 41233View attachment 41234View attachment 41235View attachment 41236

And this is just page 1

This isn't even a conversation, even if he was talking to someone else his spam is devoid of any substance or meaning.

 

[Johnny Jambalaya]

I looked on the official phase discord. Here is his last live posting session liveposting off a pippa stream. For context, everyone had fairly normal liveposting conversations. Then there was nolan. Alone in his world.

View attachment 41233View attachment 41234View attachment 41235View attachment 41236

And this is just page 1

french...

 

[thhrang]

french...

He should be banned just for being French.