"I like armpits! What do you mean? they're so soft!"Tenma Maemi

The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

Brosnan Pierce Brosnan

God's Strongest Smartass
Dizzy's Husband
Joined:  Apr 4, 2023
I now see him in comments Screenshot_20240919-185549_YouTube.jpg
 

Abomination

The abominable amalgamation known as "chyaaat!"
Joined:  Apr 1, 2023
Screenshot-20240919-165802.png

Poor Ember. You think she could ever forgive him?
:yagoocry:
 

thhrang

Punished Autism Extraordinaire
Early Adopter
Ward Security
♥Realticule's Husbando♥
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
Nolan spotted in this chat.
 

Fauna's Deadest Sapling

Well-known member
Joined:  Jan 26, 2024

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
I now see him in comments View attachment 78704

Screenshot-20240919-165802.png

Poor Ember. You think she could ever forgive him?
:yagoocry:

Nolan spotted in this chat.


> Has 24/7 to watch streams and YouTube's video
> Has 24/7 to LMAO on streams and social media
> Has 24/7 to argue and schizo posting on twitter
> Has 24/7 to vent and bitch about his family or how ergomaniac are his family members
> Has 5 minutes to wipe the dog diaper to his brother's toothbrush

> Does not have 5 minutes to inject his insulin into his arse and control his diabetes
> Does not have 30 minutes to walk his dog
> Does not have 1 hour to do his simple house chore
> Does not have few hours to write a proper resume to find job

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Nolan Crush! :dokibirdWhat:
 

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
Genuine question, does Nolan not know that vods exist?
He does but he can't livepost for VOD. It's also because he probably doesn't get the same dopamine high from watching someone live as it feels more genuine to him. You have to remember this retard is an absurdly socially stunted creature.
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
He does but he can't livepost for VOD. It's also because he probably doesn't get the same dopamine high from watching someone live as it feels more genuine to him. You have to remember this retard is an absurdly socially stunted creature.
One important thing to point out that Nolan is not only livepost on the Livestream, but he needs to literally copy and paste his Live reaction and comments to multiple discord servers. Besides that, he expect people could give postive reactions to his shitpots, which would make him feel good.

In short, these live posting is like digital cocaine to Nolan. Nolan could not pull out from it or recover in the western rehab centre, unless he is sent to China's digital rehab centre where the doctor use electric chair to shock Nolan's malfunction balls.
 

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
doctor use electric chair to shock Nolan's malfunction balls.
You know, we've never had to read about Nolan's balls before.

Thanks.

I really hope Nolan's sterile/infertile. Otherwise.. hopefully the inevitable sexual assault is not on a woman.
 

Sky Shouter

YEAH! TONIGHT!
Joined:  Sep 15, 2022
I really hope Nolan's sterile/infertile. Otherwise..
Worry not friend! Working balls or not, Nolan is a biological dead end. His legacy will be a name in a care home's patient logbook and this thread. :nolanIwish:

Congrats Nolan! You're a father to the only thing you'll ever father!
 

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
You know, we've never had to read about Nolan's balls before.

Thanks.

I really hope Nolan's sterile/infertile. Otherwise.. hopefully the inevitable sexual assault is not on a woman.
Knowing Nolan, he'd unironically recreate this thread
b1x6h4clpkw91.jpg
 

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
Knowing Nolan, he'd unironically recreate this thread
b1x6h4clpkw91.jpg
I kind of assumed at some point he'd do MLProstitution (inherently gay).

Question is: How would Nolan get money to begin with though? I guess tardbucks or his very own tugboat like Chris, but none of that is in place yet.

I would not donate money anonymously to keep him just barely treading water either (like with Chris).
 

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
I kind of assumed at some point he'd do MLProstitution (inherently gay).

Question is: How would Nolan get money to begin with though? I guess tardbucks or his very own tugboat like Chris, but none of that is in place yet.
  • he does extra chores for money (lol yeah right, he's too lazy to willing do chores as opposed to watching vtubers and porn)
  • he gets inheritance from his parents
  • birthday and christmas money
  • another job he got nepohired at like the nursing home job his mother got him
 

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
  • he does extra chores for money (lol yeah right, he's too lazy to willing do chores as opposed to watching vtubers and porn)
  • he gets inheritance from his parents
  • birthday and christmas money
  • another job he got nepohired at like the nursing home job his mother got him
The prospect of Nolan being a nepohire/tard tax-breaks hire again should terrify the aged.
 

Fauna's Deadest Sapling

Well-known member
Joined:  Jan 26, 2024
I kind of assumed at some point he'd do MLProstitution (inherently gay).

Question is: How would Nolan get money to begin with though? I guess tardbucks or his very own tugboat like Chris, but none of that is in place yet.

I would not donate money anonymously to keep him just barely treading water either (like with Chris).
  • he does extra chores for money (lol yeah right, he's too lazy to willing do chores as opposed to watching vtubers and porn)
  • he gets inheritance from his parents
  • birthday and christmas money
  • another job he got nepohired at like the nursing home job his mother got him
I feel like talking about how Nolan would get the money to hire a local tranny to dom him is putting the cart before the horse. Or the scrote before the shaft.

Someone with zero cardio, diabeetus, and generally bad health, can this troglodyte even get hard enough to penetrate another person's orifice? Or do we need to add viagra as an additional cost for this 20-something's hypothetical first sexual encounter?
 

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
can this troglodyte even get hard enough to penetrate another person's orifice?
I'm going to report this to the mods just so they can briefly imagine Nolan's erection.
 

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022

Punished Anime Discusser

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 12, 2022

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022

Clown Penis

Dizzy "Elf Pride Worldwide" Dokuro
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
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