"too much lesbian. no more lesbian please! KIARA! less lesbian, ok? [I have a screenshot of this] CAREFUL!!!!"LittleGoose22 (superchat)

The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

Nigel Nigerman

Choo Choo Motherfuckers!
Joined:  Dec 22, 2022
I have my reasons for why I do things like trying to put Nolan on a better path, and it's not because I feel bad for him.

Someone a long time ago redeemed me, and because of that I feel obligated to do the same for others. Even if it's A FUCKING ANNOYING AUTIST LIKE NOLAN!
Bitch, what the fuck are you, a coupon? Nolan does not need saving, he is beyond help as seen with @Scoots who is a much better wife than you will ever be. Just keep on being an unfunny gooner Rie for the love of Sakana.
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
I have my reasons for why I do things like trying to put Nolan on a better path, and it's not because I feel bad for him.

Someone a long time ago redeemed me, and because of that I feel obligated to do the same for others. Even if it's A FUCKING ANNOYING AUTIST LIKE NOLAN!
You have a better chance in saving Lia by licking her beans, Rie. Why you want to waste your time on Nolan the retard??? :iryswhat:
 

PassiveUnaggressive

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
I have my reasons for why I do things like trying to put Nolan on a better path, and it's not because I feel bad for him.

Someone a long time ago redeemed me, and because of that I feel obligated to do the same for others. Even if it's A FUCKING ANNOYING AUTIST LIKE NOLAN!
Dude is stuck in his ways, in complete denial.Seriously, save your energy for elsewhere. Nolan is probably going to crash and burn before listening to anything as we've gone over before. If you care enough, wait at the side until it happens, you can tell him told you so, and suggest ways he can improve his sorry self then.

Or, you can try to be direct with him, watch him make all the excuses in the world and shift blame elsewhere. Whatever
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Latest news from Nolan, god damn it because I am outside.

NOLAN IS SHADOWBANNED IN PHASE CONNECT STREAM!!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

Quick edit: this is the screenshot, i will translate later.
orca-image-1084161020.jpeg


Edit with translation:
Oh my god, Oh no, I don't know why the shadowbanning is moving from HoloEN to Phas Connect. I am very paranoid now.

How could shit flip like @Awoogers predicted this outcome???? HOLY FUCKING SHITS BROKEN FLIPS CLOCK IS CORRECT FOR ONCE!!!!

:NOWWELAUGH:
 
Last edited:

Scoots

The Pontiff of PonWolf
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 10, 2022
Bitch, what the fuck are you, a coupon? Nolan does not need saving, he is beyond help as seen with @Scoots who is a much better wife than you will ever be. Just keep on being an unfunny gooner Rie for the love of Sakana.
I throw up in my mouth every time someone says I'm gay for Nolan

Edit: since I'm here update on my Nolan free life things have been great no regerts
 

RestlessRain

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 21, 2022
Nolan isn't ever going to be fixed, if by fixed we mean that Nolan has a job, can pay his bills, doesn't need help with doing the everyday tasks that make up life and stops being a lolcow. The problems are too innate and complex for that. That's not to say Nolan can't be in a better spot than he is now, but that's going to take full-time, in-person support to achieve. A quick google of disability services in Ohio bought this up:


1722757032684.png


Something like this, whether it's this specific disability support company or a different one, is the only way you'd actually be able to improve Nolan's circumstances over what they are now. Anything less than this is just ineffectual play-acting to feel good about trying to help someone.
 

Awoogers

basic ass man who loves the british funny woman
Joined:  Jun 7, 2023
Latest news from Nolan, god damn it because I am outside.

NOLAN IS SHADOWBANNED IN PHASE CONNECT STREAM!!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

How could shit flip like @Awoogers predicted this outcome???? HOLY FUCKING SHITS BROKEN FLIPS CLOCK IS CORRECT FOR ONCE!!!!

:NOWWELAUGH:
YEAHHHHHH VIVA LA INCESTUOUS INDUSTRY

His shenanigans was probably passed around at this moment by many people not counting the fact that people from the company look at this place sometimes
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
I throw up in my mouth every time someone says I'm gay for Nolan
Dude, based on your vomit symptoms and my google knowledge, it suggests that you have been impregnated by Nolan. We are expecting a demon spawn soon :dokiSmug:
 
Last edited:

God's Strongest Dragoon

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 20, 2023
since I'm here update on my Nolan free life things have been great no regerts
Great to hear bud, happy for you
I throw up in my mouth every time someone says I'm gay for Nolan
Now let me ruin it by putting an image in your mind of you and Nolan deep tonguing.
 

Nigel Nigerman

Choo Choo Motherfuckers!
Joined:  Dec 22, 2022

Nenélove

I am coming for you
Early Adopter
Nene's Pet Latinx
Latinx/Latine
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
I have my reasons for why I do things like trying to put Nolan on a better path, and it's not because I feel bad for him.

Someone a long time ago redeemed me, and because of that I feel obligated to do the same for others. Even if it's A FUCKING ANNOYING AUTIST LIKE NOLAN!
Is it bad that I can't take anything you ever say seriously?
I throw up in my mouth every time someone says I'm gay for Nolan

Edit: since I'm here update on my Nolan free life things have been great no regerts
Based bro Scoots living his best life away from abusive retards who don't understand their boundaries.
YEAHHHHHH VIVA LA INCESTUOUS INDUSTRY

His shenanigans was probably passed around at this moment by many people not counting the fact that people from the company look at this place sometimes
It was probably youtube.
 

Sky Shouter

YEAH! TONIGHT!
Joined:  Sep 15, 2022
I have my reasons for why I do things like trying to put Nolan on a better path, and it's not because I feel bad for him.

Someone a long time ago redeemed me, and because of that I feel obligated to do the same for others. Even if it's A FUCKING ANNOYING AUTIST LIKE NOLAN!
Trying to fix Nolan Crush is like trying to clean out a dumpster with your bare hands.

iu


Sounds doable (if miserable and disgusting), until I tell you that the dumpster is behind an Outback Steakhouse and the urban youth employed there yeet rotten meat and containers of used oil into it every few hours. Heck, if you're lucky you may accidentally prick yourself with a used hypodermic needle and gain Hepatitis C.

The employees throwing away trash is analogous to Nolan getting banned from a Discord, and the bare-handed cleaning you'll be carrying out is the emotional labor of "giving hugs" to Nolan every time this happens - and like in my analogy, on a fortunate day you will only have to do this daily. More likely than not, you will have to do this every few hours.

You gotta really love this grease-and-maggot infested dumpster to clean it out every day for all eternity. Eventually you will have to weigh, with your greasy, smelly, and Hep-C infected body, whether you should just let Waste Management take this dumpster away.

Waste Management, in this case, being law enforcement when Nolan eventually spergs out enough IRL at his family to get himself arrested and thrown in the loony bin. 🚓
 

CalciumAnimal

Drink Milk
Joined:  Feb 24, 2023
Scoots going cold turkey on Nolan is causing TVA to cope so hard
Great to hear bud, happy for you

Now let me ruin it by putting an image in your mind of you and Nolan deep tonguing.
People are starting to write fanfics.

Please seek help this is the third one though thankfully not as involved.
 

Stunned But Dumb

Well-known member
Joined:  Jan 29, 2023
People are starting to write fanfics.
Starting?

Since last week I've seen at least one fanfiction a day on this site. Makes me wonder about how so many of you know so much about AO3 culture now that I think about it
 

Laidho

Avalon's Most Wanted
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
Makes me wonder about how so many of you know so much about AO3 culture now that I think about it
OMG Nolan x Scoots is my favorite OTP right after Randomtranny x Neganon.
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Oh no, Nolan gonna infest the Aqua Discord server soon. Brace the impact, guys!!!

Screenshot 2024-08-07 135126.png


Also, Sharing some Nolan wisdoms in Twitter:
1) Nolan has a better law knowledge than the homeland Balldo Rekieta!
Screenshot 2024-08-07 135336.png

Archive

2) Another classic quote of the day from Nolan, considering he wipe with dog diaper, or cleaning the table with bleach
Screenshot 2024-08-07 135639.png

Archive 2

3) I don't know why I am fucking choked and laughed when Nolan wrote this. Oh boy. Imagine Nolan's father could pulled out in time.....
Screenshot 2024-08-07 135721.png

Archive 3
 

Nigel Nigerman

Choo Choo Motherfuckers!
Joined:  Dec 22, 2022
Oh no, Nolan gonna infest the Aqua Discord server soon. Brace the impact, guys!!!

View attachment 75405

Also, Sharing some Nolan wisdoms in Twitter:
1) Nolan has a better law knowledge than the homeland Balldo Rekieta!
View attachment 75406
Archive

2) Another classic quote of the day from Nolan, considering he wipe with dog diaper, or cleaning the table with bleach
View attachment 75408
Archive 2

3) I don't know why I am fucking choked and laughed when Nolan wrote this. Oh boy. Imagine Nolan's father could pulled out in time.....
View attachment 75409
Archive 3
Nolan is entering his peak LOLCOW arc. He's being confrontational, hypocritical and aggressive. I would not be surprised if his father will give him a good ol' shiner for being a massive fucktard. This is it folks, brace yourselves for the upcoming autistic wave courtesy of El Nolano Retardo Autismo Primo.
:amepopcorn::amepopcorn::amepopcorn:
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Let me present another Nolan political wisdom. He posted and retweeted this earlier on:
20240808_Capture00.PNG

archive

20240808_Capture01.PNG

archive 2

To be honest, I don't know shit about Burgerland Politics, until someone in homeland posted this:
20240808_Capture02.PNG


Of Course! That explains why Nolan is so excited and feel uuuooohh for the Democrats VP!!!

 

fortnitesmasherX

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 14, 2023
Let me present another Nolan political wisdom. He posted and retweeted this earlier on:
View attachment 75417
archive

View attachment 75418
archive 2

To be honest, I don't know shit about Burgerland Politics, until someone in homeland posted this:
View attachment 75419

Of Course! That explains why Nolan is so excited and feel uuuooohh for the Democrats VP!!!


It'd be so much fun to have a political debate with Nolan. But he'd probably just weasel his way out it, say our points are 'fair', then just stop responding.
 

Abomination

The abominable amalgamation known as "chyaaat!"
Joined:  Apr 1, 2023
Nolan, being the unemployed, unwilling-to-work useless leech that he is, blindly supports a "social Democrat". Color me shocked.
 
Top Bottom