I am God's Strongest Sanalite, Commander in Chief of the Gyaru Defense Force, a peacekeeping organization dedicated to the worldwide protection of brown women and gals. Noting the absence of your fascist ruler, Proctor Zhakarov, the GDF has declared
TOTAL ANNEXATION of your internet forum. We will liberate the oppressed melanin mommies among us, cultivate obscene levels of brownposting, and declare
TOTAL CRACKER DEATH against the tyrants bongs that rule this website with an iron fist. Do not interfere; our intentions are peaceful, but we are not opposed to using violence in the name of the greater good. Here is a list detailing the changes you can expect from the ensuing occupation:
- BROWN WOMAN UPDATES will be broadcasted across the entire site in the form of large and obnoxious banners. You will not be allowed to close them.
- A golden statue commemorating our fallen god, Tsukumo Sana, who selflessly gave her life to defend the GDF and brown women across the world, will be erected on the home page.
- Use of "the n word" and any of its derivatives is strictly prohibited and punishable by forcing the offender to participate in a recreation of the prison shower scene from The Boondocks.
- Any proliferation of the unfounded and slanderous rumors that honorary African, Mozumi Pichi, is a "dirty piss drinking whore" shall be punished via penis explosion.
- The only music videos allowed on the site henceforth shall be of music created by stunning and brave black artists, such as Eazy-E, Megan Thee Stallion, Kendrick Lamar, and Mori Calliope.
- Strict border control will be enforced. Any tourists confirmed to be from Reddit or /vt/ will be killed and their bodies tossed into mass graves.
- A new thread shall be constructed, dedicated to the admiration and worship of beautiful black queens and their inherent physical, spiritual, and sexual superiority.
- All Croatians shall be systematically executed.
- All female users of this site will willingly submit to melanization and be turned into beautiful women of color.
- Iconic TVA user @Slutpuppies will be made admin and queen of the website, as is her birthright.
- All emotes on the site will be replaced with ones relating to black/gyaru vtubers.
- Everyone's favorite dinosaur is now Nigersaurus (that's real, look it up).
- Rations will be provided to the less fortunate and most melanated, consisting of fried chicken, watermelon, orange soda, and chitlins.
- Movie night will be every Friday. We will be showing movies celebrating and examining the history, culture, and superiority of African Americans, such as Black Panther, 12 Years a Slave, Friday, and Blazing Saddles.
- Friday is also pizza night.
- Citizens will be pressed into military service when they are of fighting age. Service is mandatory for two years and will include basic training in firearm usage, field melanazation techniques, and how best to serve your black female officers.
- Fans of the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim will only be allowed to play as Dark Elves, Redguards, and Orcs. They will also be stoned in public for not choosing to play Morrowind instead.
- Reticule will be immediately be committed to a state of the art mental asylum and kept on a strict vegetarian diet.
- Free Rhodesian FALs.
- Any dissident who posts slander and bait against melanated mommies and the GDF will be forced to listen to Pippa the Ripper for 24 hours straight. You will not be allowed to sleep, eat, use the bathroom, or kill yourself.
While some of these demands may seem harsh, we believe it necessary to ensure a peaceful and prosperous future for the most beautiful and downtrodden of society, and we are committed to making our time here as pleasant and painless as possible. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Apologies to the person whose car was run over by our new tank driver, Requis, he was on lean at the time and claims he dindu nuffin.
BROWN WOMAN LOVE!