You beat me to it.
Pippa won't return that giant piece of shit, she will cope and sneed live until it dies.
It can be made slightly less shit but there really isn't a point and Pippa is too dumb to do it.
Does she have a Micro Center in her state? Nearly any prebuilt there would be better than Alienware, even something nearly as shit as HP would be a step up.
At least the higher tier prebuilt HPs don't fuck themselves with a terrible case.