"IF IT'S ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IT IS MY FAULT"Machina X Flayon
:[💰 User Sponsored Segment 💰]:
🐻🌹Hey there, Guest, Do you like magic tricks? Well, at 6PM EST, vtuber Charlottexbear will be performing a MAGIC TRICK where she turns from a very hot bear with huge boing-boings into a really smol and cute 🦇VAMPIRE bear!🦇 Go check out this marvelous transformation yourself, or the Mexicans will be very upset...
💰💰💰Gentlemen, it is bill-paying day. That means I am doing a Bernie Sanders and asking for your financial support. The banner ad is already taken, but remember you can still shill clips on the sidebar video. 💰💰💰
The first ME wraps up very satisfyingly. The ending to ME 2 is kind of cool but also goes mega big which leads to the issues of scale in the 3rd one.
Gameplay wise and progression wise both 1 and 2 are at their best at the end. 3 is fine, but it's a bit of a mess and it fizzles out. Casey Hudson was also apparently inspired by Deus Ex Human Revolutions (shitty) ending so 3 has a bit of that messy shit in it.
But yeah 1 and 2 get better as they progress (unlike 99 percent of games). 3 falls into the... well 99 percent of other games.
3's green ending flies in the face of a point they tried to make in 2, presenting what was previously considered a bad idea as the best idea, actually, not having done any work to justify it. They also had to throw in arbitrary bullshit consequences to make the red ending not be objectively correct in every way.
It hurts my soul to see people calling ME2's story good when it is literally so bad that it pre-emptively ruined ME3 as well. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the new characters they introduced (except Miranda, fuck Miranda), but a turd sprinkled with gold is still a turd.
At least we got this moment out of the franchise: And then they turned the Reapers into cartoon villains so obsessed with Shepard they call him every night to ask if he feels it, if he's hurting and that Harbinger is definitively going to destroy him this time, just 1 more direct control for old times sake and it's your destruction, for realsies this time. What a fucking waste.
Today I learned that:
1)
Battlebit Remastered is a game designed by a bunch of schizophrenic faggots who think Operation Locker 24/7 on Battlefield 4 was the pinnacle of videogames, and nobody should play it.
It is the worst possible combination of Battlefield gameplay elements, and tacticool airsoft larper retardation. The time to kill is basically one frame because the netcode is ass, and everyone moves at Kenyan murder machine speeds? Well, if the medic wants to revive someone, they need to stop, pull out the medkit, and hold down a button on them for three seconds. You want to reload your gun? Well, that's another three seconds. So Jimmy Cracktoddler is playing fucking Starsiege Tribes on the other side of the map flying towards me to jump around the corner and delete me before I can get halfway through the reload. And the game has the Roblox aesthetic so you can't tell which team people are on based on outfit silhouettes, and the friend/foe UI is these TINY fucking blue dots over teammates that you can see through terrain, but completely blend into the sky. The maps are also terrible and I'm sure they were made to look good instead of play well. There's a bunch of other retarded shit like guns having random spread, the flagship mode of the game being 127v127 on maps smaller than a Battlefield 2 map, the maps having more shrubbery and tall grass than Vietnam so you can't see anyone who decides to camp, the progression taking like 500 hours to get all the guns, sometimes with 50 levels of no unlocks whatsoever, some of the worst UI design I've seen in my life, the game RECORDING ALL OF YOUR VOICE CHAT SO THEY CAN BAN YOU LATER (hope to Christ they don't have a data breach), the anti-cheat not working, etc..
I refuse to believe this game had like 35 fucking open playtests and people actually liked and supported this garbage. This is a half-assed Roblox subgame, that they've worked on for four years or some shit, that cannot be fixed without fundamentally reworking the entire thing, that they're charging $15 for, and will only up the price once they get further along in Early Access.
[/SPOILER]
After playing for a bit, I agree with many of these points, especially the first few. TTK feels too fast for a game with unlimited sprint, and yet everything from using a piece of equipment, reloading, and swapping weapons/equipment are incredibly too slow to match the speed of what I said earlier. I'll probably keep trying it because my friend is pretty into it, but I don't know how much more I want to continue with it. I haven't played a multiplayer FPS actively in quite a while, but most of my friends only play them. Maybe I'm just too old for them now and should stick with my single player/non-PvP co-op games.
All new pvp shooter games chasing the BF/Cod high will always be garbage since they sometimes require Smash Bros Melee tier carpal tunnel, titanfall 2 probably could've been just as faggy given enough attention but atleast movement there can be piss simple
All new pvp shooter games chasing the BF/Cod high will always be garbage since they sometimes require Smash Bros Melee tier carpal tunnel, titanfall 2 probably could've been just as faggy given enough attention but atleast movement there can be piss simple
Titanfall 2 is designed for crack children and speed fiends, but at least the game had an actually talented designer behind it, and the maps, weapons, speed, etc. all work together to create something great. Yeah, you move super fast, the TTK is super quick, but there's almost no animation locks, reloading, swapping weapons, throwing grenades, getting into your titan are all lightning fast. Out of the entire game, all weapons, titans, abilities, etc. I can think of FOUR things that clash against that, and none of them are really dealbreakers, and they only clash to the degree that they promote camping or ratlike gameplay. Those things being A-wall, the sentry gun, Monarch and Ion.
Meanwhile Battlebit or most COD/BF clones or even new releases in those series are just "What if we took these cool mechanics from this, and then put in all of these other mechanics from these other games" and it's always the most disparate shit you could imagine. Like Battlefield adding a fucking hero system. Battlebit having super slow animations for everything, but the movement being lightspeed. New COD games having the minimaps that don't show people who fire their guns, the wall mounting mechanic, the staged reloads in MW2, the decreased movement speeds, but then still having the same TTK and run-and-gun and killstreak focus of the older COD games, resulting in nothing but camping.
It's been around a month and I've crossed a few "completions" off my steam library so it's time for an effortpost.
Blue color is "I liked it" Red color is "bad/something pissed me off" Green asterisks(**) are I haven't finished them. Green with Blue means I will most likely finish it. Green with Red means that something stopped me and I will never go back.
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night(**)LINK I backed this game on kickstarter and then waited for the game roadmap to be finished before playing. It's such an absolute hot mess in the worst way possible. Rooms are too big, Combat is half-baked and Bosses are rehashed or boring. There's also a bunch of small irksome things that just feels like a step backwards in every direction. The easiest comparison I can make in my mind is an Aria of Sorrow that's worse quality in every aspect. Very sad how this turned out.
EMOJI RATING:
Shadow Warrior 1, 2 LINK1LINK2It's such a weird wild ride the remake series takes. SW1 is a 3d action fps trying to replicate the feeling of old DOOM, it has a more subdued serious tone with amazing chemistry between Lo Wang and Hoji but the combat is VERY clunky. I can only recommend playing if you want to know the lore. SW2 on the other hand tried to suck the teat of Gearbox and became a Borderlands 2 clone in almost everything including: turning up the raunchy dumb "comedy" to 12, 4 player online co-op and even the stupid "Technosuit woman talks to you". The funny thing is it does everything worse than Borderlands except for the ONE part it tried to innovate(The weapon mod system). Your stupid technowhore companion is so insufferable and I played the whole game wishing I had Hoji back.
EMOJI RATING:
Shadow Warrior 3 LINKAnd then it rebounds into a legitimately good game in 3 you wonder what the hell the devs were smoking for this development cycle. The SW series is like a goddamn monkey paw. SW1 makes an interesting world and story but the combat isn't fun. SW2 makes the company money and fame but they sell their soul to capitalism and made a shittier BL2. So what's the catch in SW3? Well you get a half-decent DOOM ETERNAL clone, a serviceable story, even Hoji comes back thanks to plot magic but instead the VA, dialogue between Lo Wang and Hoji, and tone change for the worse and that really really sucks. Another sad thing is that because the gameplay is fun it's really short thanks to being a single-player combat arena shooter. Worth buying on sale.
EMOJI RATING:
Godlike Burger LINK You might have seen this game around a couple of times on steam and wondered about it. The game is a cooking management sim where you murder your customers after feeding them their cousin. Pretty much a game version of the South Park Scott Tenorman episode. The concept is fun and the game feels okay to play but the progression is MEGA-ASS. The game is a roguelike with permanent progression systems but in order to progress and safely expand your menu beyond the tutorial level you have to farm upgrades which means killing and feeding mole people for 20-30 sessions before getting to the fun part. When you finish investing in the systems and you have decently upgraded traps and player stats then the world is your oyster but that first part is quite a slog so it's hard to recommend. Only buy on sale or if you want to see a fresh game concept.
EMOJI RATING:
Divinity Original Sin II(**)LINK I bought this game when it got released, didn't understand any of the systems, party wiped on one of the encounters at Fort Joy and quit for 6 years. After hearing Baldur's Gate 3 was exiting early access this year I decided to boot this game up to see if I would buy it after trying the previous titles and I can't stop playing. The gameplay is so much fun. You walk tightropes in almost every combat encounter and try to squeeze out as much optimization and strategy as you can from your skills and items. I just finished Wrecker's Cave playing the kidnapping vanilla(trying to link up on the map) and almost finished the zone until I realized I could've approached that whole area in a completely different way and I was just so impressed by how hard the developers worked for these alternate gameplay routes that your party can take. Some systems are underutilized but the whole experience is so great that I can look past them easily. The only way I'm not finishing this game is I have memory loss or Baldur's Gate came out before I could complete it.
EMOJI RATING:
Edit: Adding Steam Store links to my reviews. I also didn't realize Original Sin 2 was a reboot so I'll fix that.
It's been around a month and I've crossed a few "completions" off my steam library so it's time for an effortpost.
Blue color is "I liked it" Red color is "bad/something pissed me off" Green asterisks(**) are I haven't finished them. Green with Blue means I will most likely finish it. Green with Red means that something stopped me and I will never go back.
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night(**): I backed this game on kickstarter and then waited for the game roadmap to be finished before playing. It's such an absolute hot mess in the worst way possible. Rooms are too big, Combat is half-baked and Bosses are rehashed or boring. There's also a bunch of small irksome things that just feels like a step backwards in every direction. The easiest comparison I can make in my mind is an Aria of Sorrow that's worse quality in every aspect. Very sad how this turned out.
EMOJI RATING:
Shadow Warrior 1, 2It's such a weird wild ride the remake series takes. SW1 is a 3d action fps trying to replicate the feeling of old DOOM, it has a more subdued serious tone with amazing chemistry between Lo Wang and Hoji but the combat is VERY clunky. I can only recommend playing if you want to know the lore. SW2 on the other hand tried to suck the teat of Gearbox and became a Borderlands 2 clone in almost everything including: turning up the raunchy dumb "comedy" to 12, 4 player online co-op and even the stupid "Technosuit woman talks to you". The funny thing is it does everything worse than Borderlands except for the ONE part it tried to innovate(The weapon mod system). Your stupid technowhore companion is so insufferable and I played the whole game wishing I had Hoji back.
EMOJI RATING:
Shadow Warrior 3And then it rebounds into a legitimately good game in 3 you wonder what the hell the devs were smoking for this development cycle. The SW series is like a goddamn monkey paw. SW1 makes an interesting world and story but the combat isn't fun. SW2 makes the company money and fame but they sell their soul to capitalism and made a shittier BL2. So what's the catch in SW3? Well you get a half-decent DOOM ETERNAL clone, a serviceable story, even Hoji comes back thanks to plot magic but instead the VA, dialogue between Lo Wang and Hoji, and tone change for the worse and that really really sucks. Another sad thing is that because the gameplay is fun it's really short thanks to being a single-player combat arena shooter. Worth buying on sale.
EMOJI RATING:
Godlike Burger You might have seen this game around a couple of times on steam and wondered about it. The game is a cooking management sim where you murder your customers after feeding them their cousin. Pretty much a game version of the South Park Scott Tenorman episode. The concept is fun and the game feels okay to play but the progression is MEGA-ASS. The game is a roguelike with permanent progression systems but in order to progress and safely expand your menu beyond the tutorial level you have to farm upgrades which means killing and feeding mole people for 20-30 sessions before getting to the fun part. When you finish investing in the systems and you have decently upgraded traps and player stats then the world is your oyster but that first part is quite a slog so it's hard to recommend. Only buy on sale or if you want to see a fresh game concept.
EMOJI RATING:
Divinity II(**) I bought this game when it got released, didn't understand any of the systems, party wiped on one of the encounters at Fort Joy and quit for 6 years. After hearing Baldur's Gate 3 was exiting early access this year I decided to boot this game up to see if I would buy it after trying the previous titles and I can't stop playing. The gameplay is so much fun. You walk tightropes in almost every combat encounter and try to squeeze out as much optimization and strategy as you can from your skills and items. I just finished Wrecker's Cave playing the kidnapping vanilla(trying to link up on the map) and almost finished the zone until I realized I could've approached that whole area in a completely different way and I was just so impressed by how hard the developers worked for these alternate gameplay routes that your party can take. Some systems are underutilized but the whole experience is so great that I can look past them easily. The only way I'm not finishing this game is I have memory loss or Baldur's Gate came out before I could complete it.
I like your gayme review keep it up! Also, it be cool if for each title they were linked to their steam pages. If you more so go for more obscure games.
I was mistaken when you said divinity 2, cause that was a game that came out in the 2000s. But realized you meant the reboot series divinity original sin 2. I agree though, the game seemed like poop when I first played it years ago. However I got into it two years ago and had a lot of fun with it. Was also fun to play with friends too and working together to decide what we do and how to survive combat encounters. I do wish that they had merchants have their wares restock overtime, but that was my only gripe.
Would recemmond as well.
Oh lord, Nintendo con. Cant wait to hear the 4chan rrats about who gangbanged Mario. Hopefully they will take Gangbang expert Azehara's advice to heart
I'm just excited to have all of the Pikmin games unified on the same console and not requiring the use of the waggle stick. That's honestly the highlight of the direct for me.
I'm just excited to have all of the Pikmin games unified on the same console and not requiring the use of the waggle stick. That's honestly the highlight of the direct for me.
Especially nice because Pikmin 4 seems to be a combination of everything I liked about the series so far. So having all 3 games prior to Pikmin 4 avaliable as a refresher for veterans and sort of a tutorial for newcomers would be great.
Especially nice because Pikmin 4 seems to be a combination of everything I liked about the series so far. So having all 3 games prior to Pikmin 4 avaliable as a refresher for veterans and sort of a tutorial for newcomers would be great.
My autism has also noticed that the marketable dog-min in Pikmin 4 has its own set of upgrades (instead of being natively immune to every hazard) which is nice. Also, Pikmin 2 is apparently replacing all the product placement treasures that used real-life brands (ie; Duracell Batteries) with generic ones. I thought this was just a localization thing that went unnoticed by Nintendo but apparently not.
Also is it just me or does the new generic treasure look oddly high-poly than the rest of its surroundings?
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
