"TEACH ME ENGLISH F*CK BOY!!"Haachama

The Nolan Crush Memorial Post Dump and Lolcow Thread

fortnitesmasherX

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 14, 2023
I can't wait for Thrang's farm's post for Nolan. It will be glorious.
Yeah I'm not reading this thread anymore
Weak ass bitch. GTFO
 

Thomas Talus

Εκ λόγου άλλος εκβαίνει λόγος
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 15, 2022
Has he considered starting a revenge-for-hire business and showing people swatches of the various colors of dog piss he will spread over their enemies' stuff?
 

fortnitesmasherX

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 14, 2023
I just realized something funny.

He frequently gets in trouble for not taking the dogs out for 10 hours because he's too busy watching streams, but he's willing to take a break from his busy schedule to interact with the dogs so he can get revenge.

His priorities are clearly in order.
 

reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
I just realized something funny.

He frequently gets in trouble for not taking the dogs out for 10 hours because he's too busy watching streams, but he's willing to take a break from his busy schedule to interact with the dogs so he can get revenge.

His priorities are clearly in order.
Oh that's nothing! The day before the diaper incident he ignored the dogs yet again and didn't take them out for 15 hours. Which is probably why they have diapers, and why his brother was actually pissed at him in the first place.
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But don't worry guys! Through the power of serious introspection, Nolan has realized that maybe he did a bad thing?
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Well, maybe things are looking up for Nolan finally? Wait, nevermind.
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NeneHATE

Spectral Nene
Early Adopter
Nene's Pet Latinx
Latinx/Latine
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Oh that's nothing! The day before the diaper incident he ignored the dogs yet again and didn't take them out for 15 hours. Which is probably why they have diapers, and why his brother was actually pissed at him in the first place.
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But don't worry guys! Through the power of serious introspection, Nolan has realized that maybe he did a bad thing?
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Well, maybe things are looking up for Nolan finally? Wait, nevermind.
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I seriously fucking wonder why he hasn't been kicked out yet. I thought amerifats loved kicking their kids out at 18?
 

BlueSharkTV

Fucking Riggers
Early Adopter
Yuria's Husband
Joined:  Sep 10, 2022
I seriously fucking wonder why he hasn't been kicked out yet. I thought amerifats loved kicking their kids out at 18?
I think it's illegal if they are mentally handicapped or if they have some sort of illness so since he's retarded and diabetic they are stuck with his ass.
 

Hff201

Pippa Fan, Failed Normalfriend
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 13, 2022
I think it's illegal if they are mentally handicapped or if they have some sort of illness so since he's retarded and diabetic they are stuck with his ass.
For real?

Christ, that's the best argument in favour of abortion I've ever heard.
 

IdenticalPlateaus

Well-known member
Joined:  Mar 27, 2023
Then, when his brother gets understandably angry at Nolan, the autist has the fucking gall to play victim and blubber incoherently because actions have consequences.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. I CANNOT STAND THIS RETARDED MANCHILD.
It's really impressive how he always manages to lack self awareness in the most extreme way, no sense of the irony laced through his tantrums. If he were a fictional character people would say he is unrealistic because no one could be so consistently dense/hypocritical.
 

RestlessRain

Well-known member
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 21, 2022
I think it's illegal if they are mentally handicapped or if they have some sort of illness so since he's retarded and diabetic they are stuck with his ass.
There are people and companies whose job it is to take care of retards like Nolan, and I'd opine it would be the best plan for all involved. Nolan gets cared for by professional tard-wranglers, and his family don't risk having dog piss rubbed over their stuff every time they upset Nolan with an unreasonable demand like not to paw at the butter with your hands or to let the dogs out of the house more than once every fifteen hours.
 

Seth

Well-known member
Fubuki's Best Friendo
Joined:  Feb 11, 2023
Hopefully, through some weird and almost impossible divine intervention as to entertain God and the rest of us, that attorney will be Rackets.
Yeah about that one.... are there any other options!?
 

Aquatic Novellite

Merry Shiorin
Early Adopter
Joined:  Oct 10, 2022
It's really impressive how he always manages to lack self awareness in the most extreme way, no sense of the irony laced through his tantrums. If he were a fictional character people would say he is unrealistic because no one could be so consistently dense/hypocritical.
You can do it with literally zero effort if you simply lack the neural capacity for introspection or picturing a point of view other than your own.

The internet is filled with Nolans who, if they only had the real world as an option, would be low tier criminals filling up prisons and showing up in standardised testing as the bottom line.

Whereas on the internet, they get to drive the discourse on social media and effectively pulling everyone and everything down to their level.
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
You can do it with literally zero effort if you simply lack the neural capacity for introspection or picturing a point of view other than your own.

The internet is filled with Nolans who, if they only had the real world as an option, would be low tier criminals filling up prisons and showing up in standardised testing as the bottom line.

Whereas on the internet, they get to drive the discourse on social media and effectively pulling everyone and everything down to their level.
hence the shitty troon community.

I am sure nolan will troon out sooner or later so that his horrible actions will be forgiven :dokiSmug:
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Oh Nolan, you sure didn't mistreating your dog, by molesting its big red rocket :dokiSmug:

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fortnitesmasherX

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 14, 2023
Oh Nolan, you sure didn't mistreating your dog, by molesting its big red rocket :dokiSmug:

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"it'd only been a little over four hours" and we all know that letting the dogs use the bathroom more than every 10 hours is a sin; or as Pomu might say, don't take your meds.:medsmoremeds::PomuAngry:
 

Tuwuturu

All I want for Christmas is TND! <3
Early Adopter
Joined:  Sep 9, 2022
Oh Nolan, you sure didn't mistreating your dog, by molesting its big red rocket :dokiSmug:

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Nolan starting to get Migo'd by the Chinese is so PEAK. :mikothumbsl:

Does the King really lack self-awareness? I disagree. He chooses to act this way because it's beneficial for him to look like a victim. In Nolan's world, everyone is a bad guy and out to get him, when 99.9999999% of the time his "misfortunes" are of consequences from his own actions. The Wally shit happens countless of times to the point it's a loop in his daily life, but Nolan still chooses to not correct just that one behavior.

Hell, I feel sad for his brother due to the recent incident, because what Nolan did was just VILE. The fact that this was just an easy decision for him to make and then for him to share with others. Bro, what else of fucked up shit has Nolan actually also done, but hasn't confessed? :gunpeko:
 

niggaphil

Well-known member
Joined:  Oct 23, 2022
Defcon level 1 in Chinese Kiara Discord venting channel. The channel was banned and prepared to get nuke due to ppl sicked of Nolan shitposting, hugging and crying in pain 24/7!

Some Chink users knew his previous behaviour in other discords, and started questioning his action, especially about dog molesting incident. Nolan as usual just LMAO and claim people is arse hole, and tell people to fuck off because THIS IS HIS CHANNEL TO VENT OFF!! :Zaion-HAHAFAYAH:


I had archived the whole incident till the Discord mod locked the channel. The current aftermath is the users submitting requests and evidences to the Discord mod to ban Nolan

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Aftermath 2:
After the Chink Kiara Cord got nuked, Nolan went to Chink Gura Cord and bitch about it:

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Note: Before the Nolan Edit, It was in the middle from Defcon 5 to Defcon 1. I managed to save the shit that he translated in picture. He decided to video capture all the translated shit and post it in video form. Due to the huge size of the video, @reinigen if you need the video, please let me know:

Edit: Converting to Webp to png at the moment. Will upload it soon
Edit 2: Conversion done
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Current Chink Kiara Cord situation:
Users are debating whether to send Nolan to penis explosion chamber or not. Oh god I am waiting for the Judgment day! :dokiSmug:
 
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reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
I'll take the time here to reiterate that at this point I'm 100% on board with making a KF thread on Nolan. This shit is vile and deserves to be recorded.

A personal request, as I'll be slowly working on this. The format as we have it now won't work on KF. There is far too much stuff relying on the forum. They won't care about most of our bullshit. We'll have to edit it a bit and punch it up some.

Please make sure any image you post here is backed up. We've discovered you can embed Catbox.moe images using the URL image embeder. Not only that, if you're super crazy you can also archive.ph the Catbox link for extra archiving and link from that image link too. (thanks to @Short for this)

I'm busy today - and the coming weeks due to large projects at work - but my basic itinerary is going to be finishing archiving the FriendshipDailyMLP site, re-edit the OP Jamba created, punch it up a bit more for the KF audience, and go from there.

My general outline thus far mentally is - "Brief Intro, Behavior on Forums (locking edit/delete access because of how weasely he is, constant fights), Descent Into Madness (Discord bans, forum trial/ban), Realization of How he Really Was (years of logs posting on the Pony site with a 'Best Of' Compilation), Current Pathetic Existence (Chinese Discords, Spacebattles, Twitter Slapfight), Unknowns I would love more help researching from the KF audience. (Early Life, Sister Info, Early Pony Posting, Lexi, etc). I'd also have a compendium extra post or two with all the autistic details, but leave it out of the main post.

I'll be workshopping it by @God's Strongest Dragoon, @Topo Chico and @thhrang for sure. Probably will post it early here. The issue will be an initial approval because it's technically a "Halal" thread (one made about another KF forum member). It was the main hurdle Jamba and I were worried about. But I think the dog diaper incident is enough of a catalyst to get him in.

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reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
Nolan update - The bugmen know about us now because of his antics
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Topo Chico

Well-known member
Joined:  Apr 1, 2023
Nolan update - The bugmen know about us now because of his antics
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They're actually trying to register! First one says, "Wait what is the answer to the verification?" Guy replying is a real rule respecter and says, "Read the rule to find the answer."
 

reinigen

Dang it
Ward Security
Joined:  Sep 16, 2022
They're linking directly to the Jambalaya Nolan Post!
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:gloomiLaugh:
 
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