Reasons why fat girlfriends are better:
Friends and family are more sympathetic to your circumstances, especially in the event of relationship troubles
You can hear their footsteps shaking the earth from a long distance away, making it difficult for them to sneak up on you
They're slightly less likely to cheat on you because they have no other options
They double as an effective heating pad during the winter months
If you and her are chased by a large predator or a crowd of zombies you can escape on demand
You can use them to guard your ancient artifacts from American archaeology professors
Truly, women for the modern connoisseur
Friends and family are more sympathetic to your circumstances, especially in the event of relationship troubles
You can hear their footsteps shaking the earth from a long distance away, making it difficult for them to sneak up on you
They're slightly less likely to cheat on you because they have no other options
They double as an effective heating pad during the winter months
If you and her are chased by a large predator or a crowd of zombies you can escape on demand
You can use them to guard your ancient artifacts from American archaeology professors
Truly, women for the modern connoisseur
