Let me give you some sincere advice.
The only friends who matter in life should be the ones who care enough about you to stick by your side through thick and thin. In fact I consider the term 'friend' to have been horribly abused in recent decades thanks to the advent of the internet. A 'friend' is not somebody who games with you, shares a Discord with you, etc. A 'friend' isn't just a handle online. A 'friend' is a person you know and share a bond with, one that isn't easily broken. A friend doesn't just like you then not like you when they find something about you they disagree with or think is a bad idea. A friend tries to encourage you, counsel you, give you valid and useful advice, etc. The best kinds of friends can call you an asshole, idiot and whiny little bitch and still be your friend afterwards.
Basically, a friendship is something worth preserving even through circumstances where the immediate positive feedback from the relationship is absent. I've had friends who I said very stupid things to and who stopped talking to me for weeks as a result, but that wasn't because they hated me, it was because they wanted me to be confronted with the consequences of my actions and change for the better. A good friend holds you to a set of standards because they believe that you're worth it, while a bad friend lets you wallow in negativity because it doesn't matter to them whether you succeed or fail, so long as they get at least three games of League out of you per week.
None of the people who walked away from you back then were your friends. Your remorse is wasted on them. They don't deserve either your tears or your respect. At worst you lost a generic source of dopamine hits and acquaintances who liked you purely because your outward appearance and actions aligned with their personal biases.