Culinary Catastrophes

[Euthyphro]

Yeah, this is why I would be doing all the cooking in a relationship:

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A meat thermometer is worth it, unless you like spending extra 'quality time' on the throne....

Besides that, it doesn't sound too bad (knock on wood).

Considering that her usual diet consists of this, then yeah it's not so bad:

 

[PassiveUnaggressive]

Yeah, this is why I would be doing all the cooking in a relationship:

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A meat thermometer is worth it, unless you like spending extra 'quality time' on the throne....

Besides that, it doesn't sound too bad (knock on wood).

 

[Thomas Talus]

Considering that her usual diet consists of this, then yeah it's not so bad:

carbzzzzzzz

 

[agility_]

I wish Pippa would tear herself away from doing react-content crap and try a DIY Wigan Kebab.

 

[Ballpark_Look]

A+ for creativity

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Vtubers need to get off their phone for like one second

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[Awoogers]

A+ for creativity

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Vtubers need to get off their phone for like one second

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Haiyaaah I've done shit like forgetting to turn the rice cooker on and realizing it later as a kid but who the fuck forgets to put water on it and turn it on?

 

[Realticule]

Vtubers need to get off their phone for like one second

The modern state of women, how embarrassing.

 

[Zyklon Mag]

 

[Aquatic Novellite]

Haiyaaah I've done shit like forgetting to turn the rice cooker on and realizing it later as a kid but who the fuck forgets to put water on it and turn it on?

People who want to post memetically bad cooking on twitter for engagement.

 

[Planetary Bombardment]

Serina Maiko of V4Mirai made stew, fucked it up, then decided to add her own hair for some godforsaken reason.



E: I speedran the VOD and here's the recipe:

Spoiler: Ingredients

• 1x half stick of butter
• 4x garlic cloves, cut into random sizes
• 1x fistful of thyme, roughly chopped
• 1x fistful of parsley, roughly chopped
• 1x fistful of basil, roughly chopped
• 1x large white onion, diced
• 1x red capsicum, diced (with seeds removed so it isn't too spicy)
• 1x jalapeno, diced
• 4x cups of water
• 1x potato, in enormous chunks
• 1x large carrot, cut into uneven coins
• 1x box of mushrooms, washed and badly cut
• 2x package of beef onion soup mix
• 1x sausage, cut into coins
• 1x "little bit" of sugar, about 1 whole fucking cup
• 1x nonspecific amount of cinnamon , about 4 tbsp
• 1x nonspecific amount of cumin, about 4 tbsp
• 1x nonspecific amount of cornstarch, about 1/4 cup
• 1x lb beef, nonspecific origin, cut into large cubes

Spoiler: Directions

• Add butter to blazing hot enameled cast iron pot and allow to burn.
• Add garlic and allow to burn.
• Wash hands and apply lotion.
• Add thyme, parsley, and basil and allow to burn.
• Turn heat to low then add white onion, red capsicum, jalapeno, and water.
• Get upset at temperature and turn heat to high.
• Add soup mix and bring to violent boil.
• Cut sausage and reference 'bottom surgery' while mutilating with a dull knife.
• Don't actually add sausage yet.
• Add sugar and cinnamon, because cinnamon rolls are delicious and sugar is a thickener.
• Oops no it isn't, so add cornstarch.
• Add cumin.
• Wash hands and apply lotion.
• Add beef and sausage from earlier.
• Add potato, carrot, and mushroom.
• Cover pot.
• Boil the shit out of it for ten minutes.

I'm not going to include the hair because I still maintain some very minor amount of self-respect.

 

[Euthyphro]

British zoomer cooking going exactly as one might expect:

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The stream:

Haven't watched the full thing, but it certainly looks like there was content:

 

[Awoogers]

British zoomer cooking going exactly as one might expect:

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The stream:

Haven't watched the full thing, but it certainly looks like there was content:

sonic if he had down syndrome

 

[Realticule]

As it originated here, figured I'd post it here as well.

Hey @Realticule - not that I would ever encourage your particular feverishly flesh-focused fascination, but I wonder if it would be possible to make a Pippossum instead of the more traditional German hedgehog.

Spoiler: meatposting from wikipedia

Ask and you shall receive.

I got you fam.

A Pippossum walks into a bar and says...

Spoiler: You are not prepared

SURPRISE MEATKIN!
AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
View attachment 79934

You are to blame for this if you're wondering, and yes I should have used red onions for the fur as Pipossum has black fur.

 

[Thomas Talus]

For a counterpoint, Roca Rourin made a Beef Wellington-type dish and it turned out quite well:

 

[Nenélove]

For a counterpoint, Roca Rourin made a Beef Wellington-type dish and it turned out quite well:

Isn't that a dish from that one cooking anime where food makes people have orgasms? She actually did really well, beef wellington is much harder though, the duxelles requires knowing your mushrooms and the puff pastry can be fucked up in 7 different ways by an amateur even if you buy it pre-made (my recommendation).

 

[Thomas Talus]

Isn't that a dish from that one cooking anime where food makes people have orgasms? She actually did really well, beef wellington is much harder though, the duxelles requires knowing your mushrooms and the puff pastry can be fucked up in 7 different ways by an amateur even if you buy it pre-made (my recommendation).

I think she said she used a Gordon Ramsey version of the recipe. I missed the actual name, but people were calling it Wellington even though the meat is on the outside here.

 

[TKN_Lurker]

Cottontail's cookies have a crust...

 

[Sky Shouter]

This one is a curious case in which it doesn't actually involve the vtuber in question, but rather the entire nation of India


If you held a poop-encrusted gun to my head and told me to choose an Indian street food to eat, at least this one doesn't involve roasted cow dung

 

[Realticule]

This one is a curious case in which it doesn't actually involve the vtuber in question, but rather the entire nation of India


If you held a poop-encrusted gun to my head and told me to choose an Indian street food to eat, at least this one doesn't involve roasted cow dung

I hate these videos, they always pop up with the soda people particularly, and it's always some shitty street vendor making a mess using random shit you can find in the grocery store and then people applauding it. It's not good, it's not specially because some Indian dude pressed his thumb into a bottle of Sprite while pouring it upside down all over three glass and a table, and you're a goy for enjoying it. Now eat your bug covered Pepsi crusted eggs that taste like shit.

This dumb shit, look at all the encrusted filth. Look at the soda stained table where he pours half the bottle over each time.

 

[Euthyphro]

I hope that was a disposable coffee cup:

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