Culinary Catastrophes

[PassiveUnaggressive]

Not Riro's fault directly, but here's some "sushi soup" made by her babushka.

End result is food, I guess, but why....

 

[kestraline]

Wemi's Sausage.

And if that is not enough, Wemi's banana cake.

 

[Sky Shouter]

Mmm, sweet pancakes with kimchi, watery ketchup, whipped cream, swiss cheese and chocolate, my favorite

 

[agility_]

Do the japanese have sandpaper in place of taste buds, what the fuck.

 

[Nenélove]

Do the japanese have sandpaper in place of taste buds, what the fuck.

They eat fish cum sooooo...

 

[Ｍｕｒｒａｙしないで]

Mmm, sweet pancakes with kimchi, watery ketchup, whipped cream, swiss cheese and chocolate, my favorite

View attachment 15612

Are you sure that's what this is? If this is traditional okonomiyaki, it's more savory than sweet, the brown sauce is probably tare, and the white stuff is probably mayo. The kimchi and cheese would be normal ingredients (the former more than the latter though) and there's probably not any chocolate. In short this might not be a catastrophe unless there's more context to the source video which proves it to be so.

 

[vestars20]

Are you sure that's what this is? If this is traditional okonomiyaki, it's more savory than sweet, the brown sauce is probably tare, and the white stuff is probably mayo. The kimchi and cheese would be normal ingredients (the former more than the latter though) and there's probably not any chocolate. In short this might not be a catastrophe unless there's more context to the source video which proves it to be so.

Well Meloco said they are pancakes. Meloco's looks like okonomiyaki but Kotoka's looked like this

Personally, the worst part for me is how they tried to use multiple pans that didn't work with their induction heater... These pancakes were make in a wok.
Timestamp where Meloco tries and fails to explain why Kotoka should not add kimchi to her pancake


You would think it can't get worse but you would be wrong

 

[Realticule]

Wemi's Sausage.

View attachment 15437
And if that is not enough, Wemi's banana cake.

View attachment 15545

The hell is wrong with those hotdogs?

 

[Empty_Inbox]

Meloco is trying to overcome the vegemite. Her idea on how to do this is to make a miso soup

 

[RestlessRain]

Meloco is trying to overcome the vegemite. Her idea on how to do this is to make a miso soup

Vegemite can be used as a cheap way to add umami flavour to stews, gravy and so forth. The idea here isn't that bad.

 

[MrProcessor]

Do the japanese have sandpaper in place of taste buds, what the fuck.

That's a pretty "unusual" Okonomiyaki, to say the least.

 

[Realticule]

I don't know man, Miso Soup is holy and came from the future to save Japan. What did Vegemite do? Come from British cucks?

Just listen to this schizo talk about Miso Soup and tell me it's not special.

By the way, this is a big Tartaria guy, which comes up in Pippa's chat sometimes.

 

[Empty_Inbox]

It is spreading...

 

[God's Strongest Wardog]

I swear I'd lose what shreds remain of my sanity if I was in the same building as these women and I couldn't successfully remove them from the kitchen.

 

[Harrow Prime]

I swear I'd lose what shreds remain of my sanity if I was in the same building as these women and I couldn't successfully remove them from the kitchen.

you watch vtubers and still have ANY sanity left? Respect.

 

[John Vtuber👁️]

…Should we have a dedicated “learn how to cook” thread in The Workshop, seeing as how rampant the inability to cook runs in VTubing? Save our oshis, save ourselves.

 

[agility_]

Or just post recipes here? This thread can do the contrast with recipe instructions aka "please put cooking oil in the pan before attempting to cook takoyaki"

 

[Nenélove]

Chicken Parmesan?

 

[John Vtuber👁️]

My reasoning is, a dedicated thread can also be used as an index for regular users and talents to better search through, but that can be a problem for future Proctor to worry about. Thank you for your service, by the way.

Now, Kirsche is currently streaming and has said that she's using expired baking powder in her pancakes (estimated from 2015), and this triggered me to action to help improve not just her cooking, but VTuber cooking overall. Instead of putting together a clean recipe sheet with measured ingredients, which is something that can be googled by most anyone already, I feel like a focus on "cooking to one's personal tastes" and "building personal technique" would be worth more in terms of being applied to more than just the example food being prepared.

I shall now separate the rest of this post into spoilers because once I get going, I am physically incapable of stopping. Since the first suggestion was Chicken Parmesan, that's what I'll use as a testing ground.

Spoiler: Parmesan Chicken: Stop Ordering Olive Garden On UberEats Edition

A staple of American-Italian fast food and American in-restaurant cuisine (not-so-fast), Chicken Parmesan - and, subsequently, Eggplant Parmesan - is prime comfort food when you want to go out without putting too much thought into what you want to eat when ordering.

First thing to consider is time. How much time do you want to dedicate to cooking? While you can personally hand-craft each component of the dish, yeah, that's not happening for the average VTuber. Doubly so when food delivery is an epidemic within the community that should be confronted.

If you can boil a pot of water without overflowing and burning, you can cook the spaghet. Put a pot of water on the stove to medium heat, and when it begins bubbling, add your spaghet of choice, and cook until it is as hard or soft as you would like to eat; the longer it's boiled, the softer the noodles become. There's plenty of variations in spaghet and spaghet accessories, including zucchini noodles, potato pasta, the key is to find something that you would enjoy the taste of. You might not get it on the first go-around, but experimentation in smaller pasta dishes can assist in helping you find your preferred taste. To start out with, however, focus on something you can get in a box, that you can visibly see from the casing within - for legal purposes I can't recommend any specific brands, but unless your eyes are actively working against you, there are entire shelves of this stuff in grocery aisles that you can't miss. Pick the one that looks the best to you. Also consider investing in a strainer, so that you can pour the spaghet into it to drain the water after boiling.

If you have an air fryer, you can crisp freshly cleaned and prepared chicken, if not outright fry it to your preferred consistency. If you don't have one, wrong. Do you want a non-breaded chicken breast that you can powder with parmesan when the entire dish is plated? It's got you covered, just be sure to season with salt and pepper for a few seconds each - you'll be able to "feel" when it's seasoned by using your natural senses, just like your grandmama would tell you. Would you prefer chicken tendies that are crisped with parmesan? It's got you covered. For the latter, cover the tendies with the powdered cheese in the air fryer basket, just be sure to clean up the grease afterward. Powdered parmesan is just a personal preference of mine, you can very much put the chicken together with non-powdered parmesan, just cook until melted. You can also fry up the chicken in a pan and create your own, custom breading, but I have seen enough horrors from VTubers in pan-related incidents that I am not going to recommend it until there is a global improvement in cooking.

Do you have a sense of smell and taste? Then you can add flavoring to your favorite can of marinara (with cooking instructions on the can/jar), also in grocery aisles, because chances are you don't have the time to craft artisanal homemade sauce. Three words, repeat after me: Garlic, Oregano, Lemon Juice. Three more words: Salt, Pepper, Basil. Three additional words: taste until seasoned. Although I can give you ratios of each ingredient to use, while cooking the sauce in a sauce pan, add bits and pieces of each seasoning, taste, repeat until satisfied. You can also use ingredients and seasonings that I don't mention, I'm not a fed (real).

OPTIONAL: Can you fry eggs and bacon? If so, you can turn the dish into a Carbonara. If not: crack two eggs into a small bowl, whisk with a fork until yellow, microwave until solid (~45 seconds, add 15 second increments if still wet). An air fryer can also crisp bacon, experiment with timing and temperature for your preferred consistency. Transfer the spaghet into the eggs and bacon, mix evenly - it is okay to crumble the bacon and dice up the scrambled eggs into the pasta, in fact, that's ideal. Alternately, replace bacon with bacon bits for additional time saving, but freshly cooked bacon tastes infinitely better.

Do you have eyes that are still working? Then you can plate chicken parmesan - just make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your stomach, or you'll add your dinner to the leftovers. Plate in the following order: Spaghet, Sauce, Chicken. Dust with powdered parmesan to taste, add some red pepper flakes for spice. Serve with buttered toast with garlic salt, and a light salad of your choosing. Eat your vegetables, they're good for you. Add pecans and apples with a light raspberry vinaigrette if you have a sweet tooth.

 

[Nenélove]

My reasoning is, a dedicated thread can also be used as an index for regular users and talents to better search through, but that can be a problem for future Proctor to worry about. Thank you for your service, by the way.

Now, Kirsche is currently streaming and has said that she's using expired baking powder in her pancakes (estimated from 2015), and this triggered me to action to help improve not just her cooking, but VTuber cooking overall. Instead of putting together a clean recipe sheet with measured ingredients, which is something that can be googled by most anyone already, I feel like a focus on "cooking to one's personal tastes" and "building personal technique" would be worth more in terms of being applied to more than just the example food being prepared.

I shall now separate the rest of this post into spoilers because once I get going, I am physically incapable of stopping. Since the first suggestion was Chicken Parmesan, that's what I'll use as a testing ground.

Spoiler: Parmesan Chicken: Stop Ordering Olive Garden On UberEats Edition

A staple of American-Italian fast food and American in-restaurant cuisine (not-so-fast), Chicken Parmesan - and, subsequently, Eggplant Parmesan - is prime comfort food when you want to go out without too much when ordering.

First thing to consider is time. How much time do you want to dedicate to cooking? While you can personally hand-craft each component of the dish, yeah, that's not happening for the average VTuber. Doubly so when food delivery is an epidemic within the community that should be confronted.

If you can boil a pot of water without overflowing and burning, you can cook the spaghet. Put a pot of water on the stove to medium heat, and when it begins bubbling, add your spaghet of choice, and cook until it is as hard or soft as you would like to eat; the longer it's boiled, the softer the noodles become. There's plenty of variations in spaghet and spaghet accessories, including zucchini noodles, potato pasta, the key is to find something that you would enjoy the taste of. You might not get it on the first go-around, but experimentation in smaller pasta dishes can assist in helping you find your preferred taste. To start out with, however, focus on something you can get in a box, that you can visibly see from the casing within - for legal purposes I can't recommend any specific brands, but unless your eyes are actively working against you, there are entire shelves of this stuff in grocery aisles that you can't miss. Pick the one that looks the best to you. Also consider investing in a strainer, so that you can pour the spaghet into it to drain the water after boiling.

If you have an air fryer, you can crisp freshly cleaned and prepared chicken, if not outright fry it to your preferred consistency. If you don't have one, wrong. Do you want a non-breaded chicken breast that you can powder with parmesan when the entire dish is plated? It's got you covered, just be sure to season with salt and pepper for a few seconds each - you'll be able to "feel" when it's seasoned by using your natural senses, just like your grandmama would tell you. Would you prefer chicken tendies that are crisped with parmesan? It's got you covered. For the latter, cover the tendies with the powdered cheese in the air fryer basket, just be sure to clean up the grease afterward. Powdered parmesan is just a personal preference of mine, you can very much put the chicken together with non-powdered parmesan, just cook until melted. You can also fry up the chicken in a pan and create your own, custom breading, but I have seen enough horrors from VTubers in pan-related incidents that I am not going to recommend it until there is a global improvement in cooking.

Do you have a sense of smell and taste? Then you can add flavoring to your favorite can of marinara (with cooking instructions on the can/jar), also in grocery aisles, because chances are you don't have the time to craft artisanal homemade sauce. Three words, repeat after me: Garlic, Oregano, Lemon Juice. Three more words: Salt, Pepper, Basil. Three additional words: taste until seasoned. While I can give you ratios of each ingredient to use, while cooking the sauce in a sauce pan, add bits and pieces of each seasoning, taste, repeat until satisfied. You can also use ingredients and seasonings that I don't mention, I'm not a fed (real).

OPTIONAL: Can you fry eggs and bacon? If so, you can turn the dish into a Carbonara. If not: crack two eggs into a small bowl, whisk with a fork until yellow, microwave until solid (~45 seconds, add 15 second increments if still wet). An air fryer can also crisp bacon, experiment with timing and temperature for your preferred consistency. Transfer the spaghet into the eggs and bacon, mix evenly - it is okay to crumble the bacon and dice up the scrambled eggs into the pasta, in fact, that's ideal. Alternately, replace bacon with bacon bits for additional time saving, but freshly cooked bacon tastes infinitely better.

Do you have eyes that are still working? Then you can plate chicken parmesan - just make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your stomach, or you'll add your dinner to the leftovers. Plate in the following order: Spaghet, Sauce, Chicken. Dust with powdered parmesan to taste, add some red pepper flakes for spice. Serve with buttered toast with garlic salt, and a light salad of your choosing. Eat your vegetables, they're good for you. Add pecans and apples with a light raspberry vinaigrette if you have a sweet tooth.

Damn that's a nice guide, I already know how to make it (it's one of my favorite dishes) but this is seriously comprehensive. There's no olive gardens where I live but I would never eat there from how their food looks, I don't trust a franchise with getting my pasta right anyway.
Too many people nowadays see cooking as a chore to be avoided, I understand the feeling if you're a suffering housewife with 3 kids to feed but most people who say this live alone.