Okay, I know what I'm about to type is probably not going to get through to you for a long while. But, this is also for any inmates who may have similar feelings regarding their oshis.
You don't know her. Like, at all. Even spouses keep secrets between each other for the sake of their relationship, so an online personality is going to have a lot more to hide in just about every case to keep their relationship with their audience (that is to keep him/her customers continuing to pay for their entertainment).
I'm not going to say that this is bad or good, just what I think is the case, which might be incorrect.
But really think about it. Is being so loyal to your oshi doing you any good? Are you actually any happier? Or is it just that the fixation on an ideal person (at least, ideal to you) is distracting you from the pain of your own life? If you keep supporting them, keep fighting for them, fighting to the point of going out of your way to participate in arguments for their sake time and time again, in places where they wouldn't or shouldn't ever see them, then your parasocial relationship is probably doing you more harm than good, especially so when the person you're defending has a profit incentive to act the way that made them your oshi in the first place.
Your oshi isn't going to save you from your suffering. Hell, not even a girlfriend can do that. So really think about it. Is the dedication going to make you happier, and your life any better? Because looking at it, and I've seen this behavior before both online and offline, the answer is rarely yes.