Culinary Catastrophes

[Kuri Rinji]

Rev, no wonder your wife is fucking fat. What the hell is this slop? That's diarrhoea on the most saddest slice of bread with the most depressing looking side of fries.

It's okay, the Diet Coke balances it out.

 

[TKN_Lurker]

It's okay, the Diet Coke balances it out.

Keeps the whole meal 'healthy' with zero sugar of course. Can't let the artificial sweeteners make you fat when eating grease filled slop you know?

 

[thhrang]

It's okay, the Diet Coke balances it out.

 

[Ｍｕｒｒａｙしないで]

Menace can actually cook but I still felt like this deserved to be posted here.
(a)

Women, if there's a jar you can't open and there's no big muscular man nearby to help you, try running the lid of the jar under hot tap water, being careful to get as little as possible on the jar - just run the water on the lid itself for a minute. Then dry off the lid and try opening it again. The warm lid will expand a little which will cause it to have less friction on the jar and therefore open easier.

There are few situations in life which are improved by repeatedly stabbing things and this is not one of them. (That lid is ruined and now can't seal the jar of smelly fermented food anymore.)

 

[Superduper Samurai]

Women, if there's a jar you can't open and there's no big muscular man nearby to help you, try running the lid of the jar under hot tap water, being careful to get as little as possible on the jar - just run the water on the lid itself for a minute. Then dry off the lid and try opening it again. The warm lid will expand a little which will cause it to have less friction on the jar and therefore open easier.

There are few situations in life which are improved by repeatedly stabbing things and this is not one of them. (That lid is ruined and now can't seal the jar of smelly fermented food anymore.)

You know i think this woman wanted to bait men into posting about how they can open her "jars" instead of actual jar opening tips considering her previous postings....

 

[Zyklon Mag]

Women, if there's a jar you can't open and there's no big muscular man nearby to help you, try running the lid of the jar under hot tap water, being careful to get as little as possible on the jar - just run the water on the lid itself for a minute. Then dry off the lid and try opening it again. The warm lid will expand a little which will cause it to have less friction on the jar and therefore open easier.

There are few situations in life which are improved by repeatedly stabbing things and this is not one of them. (That lid is ruined and now can't seal the jar of smelly fermented food anymore.)

Counterpoint: stabbing things is fun

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

Counterpoint: stabbing things is fun

Shit like this is why you'll never get your MnG tickets to see Bettel.

 

[TKN_Lurker]

I present a Classic Purple man cuisine. Burnt Chocolate Chip cookies irradiated with cancer.

 

[Ｍｕｒｒａｙしないで]

I present a Classic Purple man cuisine. Burnt Chocolate Chip cookies irradiated with cancer.

haha yeah, what an idiot to make mistakes like that while baking cookies, ha ha

 

[Realticule]

I present a Classic Purple man cuisine. Burnt Chocolate Chip cookies irradiated with cancer.

No, he made cookie not cookies.

 

[Thomas Talus]

No, he made cookie not cookies.

Eh, it's good enough for me. Still starts with c.

 

[Smelliest007]

Eh, it's good enough for me. Still starts with c.

Yeah, crap.

 

[VSoyBoy]

I present a Classic Purple man cuisine. Burnt Chocolate Chip cookies irradiated with cancer.

Not too bad on the second try:

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

Not too bad on the second try:

This motherfucker went and bought some storebrand easy bake shit

 

[Zyklon Mag]

Not too bad on the second try:

I will mercifully postpone his electroshocks and beatings
Supposedly, the West Coast butter confused him and it resulted in the first batch.

 

[Ballpark_Look]

I will mercifully postpone his electroshocks and beatings
Supposedly, the West Coast butter confused him and it resulted in the first batch.

Agree that those specific types of measurements on recipes are annoying AF. Like 1 potato or 1 package of gelatin.
Eggs get a pass though, not like I can get 1/2 an egg.

 

[Realticule]

This motherfucker went and bought some storebrand easy bake shit

That or he kidnapped a granny and had her bake cookies under threat of violence.

 

[Zyklon Mag]

That or he kidnapped a granny and had her bake cookies under threat of violence.

Most grannies could probably suplex him into the dirt, let's be real.

 

[Aquatic Novellite]

Shit like this is why you'll never get your MnG tickets to see Bettel.

Backstabbing women are like catnip to Bettel, though.

That or he kidnapped a granny and had her bake cookies under threat of violence.

The granny would just knock him out cold.

 

[God's Strongest Dragoon]

Backstabbing women are like catnip to Bettel, though.

Yeah but @Zyklon Mag ain't going to be able to compete with lonely office ladies that currently have more cats than they ever had boyfriends.