To my community,
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my path as a creator. This will come as no surprise to most of you who frequent my streams, but I have not been in a very good headspace in regards to my content the past few months. I will do my best to explain my thoughts to you so that hopefully you can understand...
When I first became aware of VTubing, I was at an intersection in my life. I was pulled down the rabbit hole and sank deeply into VTubing culture. Ever since I was young, I always wished I could become an idol, or a magical girl or both! VTubing felt like the perfect way to do this, and I wanted to work towards becoming a better singer and someone who would touch the hearts of others through music! I saw how much fun my oshi's were having and wanted to have fun too, so I became a VTuber myself! I started streaming in January of 2021 as a PNGTuber, aiming to make some friends, improve my crippling shyness, and with some luck, release my first album!
I was still full of hope that someday I could become the idol I wanted to be!
I've been used and taken advantage of in many ways and by many people throughout the past 4 years. People who claim to care about me and then use me and throw me away once they've gotten what they want from me. People who say they want to be friends, but have ulterior motives.
It feels impossible to find my place here, and I have never quite managed to fit in with the crowd of other streamers and VTubers. The expectations my community has of me have also increased and become more and more stifling. All of these things combined have drained a lot of the joy and happiness that I used to feel for my own content journey, and it has been more difficult to focus on making the music content that I originally set out to make. I feel it's impossible now for me to become the idol I had dreamed of being, after everything that has happened.
I'm not having fun anymore.
I have thought for a long time about what to do to remedy this situation. After months of thought, I've decided a change is needed in order for me to continue making content in a way that I find fulfilling and enjoyable.
I would like to focus more on music and singing content, like I originally always wanted to do! I got too caught up in the streaming aspect of things, but I think this direction will be more aligned with what I enjoy doing the most, which is singing!
Please expect significantly less streams going forward.
I want to release more music content, and silly things that make me smile.
There will be changes to my community discord as well, and it will operate more as a fan server from now on.
I will still be working on my 4.0 debut in the coming months, however, I will be spending most of my time trying to get back to a place where I am more mentally and physically healthy than I have been the past little while. This isn't to say it's impossible for me to ever return to streaming more often, but in order to be able to move forward, this is a step that I absolutely need to take.
I want to keep doing my best for you in a way that won't make me so miserable! I hope you will continue to support me in my activities from here on out as well. I thank you all for your support during the past 4 years! Thank you for all the good memories and the laughs! You guys got me through a lot of difficult things, and I will always look back fondly on our first 4 years together! Even if things are different, I hope we can have more fun in the future too!
SILVI