Sayu please for the love of god embrace your few friends. The real friends not random people that have been nice to you online once or twice.
Seems to me like what she wants is not real. Like a piece out of something bigger than the sum of its parts and given how Corpo Vtubing is going, unless she joins Phase or Holo, I doubt it will happen.
Its pretty sad to see honestly and it all seems to stem from childhood trauma. The sad part is that it keeps happening too.
What she wants is a generation/wave to belong to and honestly I dont think she will find it given the current state of corporations.