Official Kamioshi Stalker Shrine-Building Thread - Definitely Not Parasocial Edition

[The Proctor]

Spoiler: Preamble; why this thread is a thing.

While many people have very strong opinions about the thread split, I feel that one fairly unanimous opinion has been that people tend to engage in a lot of hit-and-run posts about their kamioshi with minimal content besides 'look, she's streaming!'. I'm guilty of this too, and while I have found a few cool people by randomly clicking on the content in these kinds of posts, I generally just scroll straight over them.

Right before the crash, @Last Of The Mohicans had just begun working on an Amiya Aranha thread, followed by a template for new threads focused on single talents. He's very passionate about single-talent threads being viable, and I appreciate that passion. To encourage people to do similar things, I've decided to start this thread, the purpose of which I will now explain.

This is the Kamioshi Shrine thread. It's purpose is to allow users a chance to dedicate a single post to their Kamioshi. The primary purpose of this post should be as follows; to promote her (or him, I don't judge) to people who have no knowledge of their existence.

By promote, I mean market. I want to know why I should watch your kamioshi. Shill her. Endorse her. Praise her virtues. Exhibit her content. Highlight her best moments, link her archives. Give me an orgy of content to potentially consume.

Basically, pitch her to me (and other users) like you're pitching a business plan to a room of bored, slightly suspicious investors that could make or break your entire career.

tl;dr: I want to see effort and sincerity.

Spoiler: The rules

There is no set format for a shrine-post. Treat it like a geocities or myspace page (I know a significant portion of you are old enough to remember those, you fossils). Copy somebody else's if you want, but at least try and make it look cool and unique in some way.

However, there are a few content rules.

1) No dox material. This includes any fleshposting that wasn't on the vtuber's main account. A vtuber-vs-irl image is okay, but even that is discouraged. Most people here don't want to see a vtuber's face to begin with.
2) No negging. The point is to be nice and demonstrate your devotion, appreciation, adoration and other POSITIVE feelings for the talent.
3) Keep controversy to a minimum. This is about shilling your kamioshi, not telling people about the terrible things that've happened to her or that time she was a bitch to someone else, even if you think she was justified.
4) No mocking, insulting or belittling other entries. Constructive criticism is fine, but that's all.

Spoiler: The payoff

This will not simply be a project that languishes in this thread. Once enough entries are gathered, I intend to turn them into a site banner or other semi-permanent asset similar to the random quotes ticker. Just like the quotes, it will randomly link one of the shrine-posts here and contain a little endorsement of the talent to encourage people to click on it and learn more.

In addition, I will hold a vote after enough entries are made. Users will vote on whose shrine-post was the best and most well-designed. The winner will be given a free custom title (for themselves or whoever else they want on the forum) plus a week-long advertisement slot on the forum announcements.

All posts below this one should be on-topic. Discussion should take place in the General thread. You are free to ask questions or solicit advice, however.

That's all. Have fun.

 

[Horo7618]

Reposting from the temp server:

Friends, Inmates, Latinx, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Selen, not to praise her.
The evil women do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Selen. The noble Riku
Hath told you Selen broke Activity Rules:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Selen answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Riku and the rest–
For Riku is an honorable man;
So are they all, all honourable men–
Come I to speak in Selen’s memory.
She was my oshi, faithful and just to me:
But Riku says she was negligible;
And Riku is an honorable man.
She hath brought many diamonds home
When Pomu could not find a single one:
Did this in Selen seem malicious?
When dragoons delivered, Selen hath laughed:
Malice should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Riku says she was malicious;
And Riku is an honorable man.
You all did see that on her victory
She presented Enna with a kingly belt,
Which she did not acknowledge; was this malicious?
Yet Riku says she was malicious;
And, sure, he is an honorable man.
I speak not to disprove what Riku spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love her once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for her?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffee there with Selen,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

 

[Abomination]

HEY! You see this tard here?:

That's right! It's my favorite tard, Kaneko Lumi!
​

I know the rules say "No negging", but it is impossible to talk about Lumi without bullying her. Afterall, she encourages it



So, who is Kaneko Lumi? She is a streamer apart of Phase Connect, part of their first wave of Invaders. She may also be known as Yellow Woman, Lemon Woman, Lemon Whore, and her recent favorite nickname: Little Retard.


She debuted in the summer of 2021 at the Cyberlive vtuber company. I won't go into much about that as there's vague drama surrounding this time period, but she ended up leaving Cyberlive in March of 2022 and redebuted under Phase Connect shortly after, where she's been ever since. I won't go into her full biography, but this is a little gist of her beginnings.

So, how did I become a fan of Kaneko Lumi? The first time I ever watched Lumi was in September of 2022. Fellow Phase talent Pipkin Pippa hosted a stream where she and Lumi watched a God awful movie about a talking dog, and it was a hilarious stream.


Afterwards, I looked up some more content from her, and found a video from our own @Azehara with clips of Pippa and Lumi playing on a Minecraft server, and it was some of the funniest shit I had seen in a while.


After some time of watching her, I finally decided that I watch and enjoy her enough to actually call her my oshi, and that's been the case for a few years now.

So, why is Kaneko Lumi my oshi? Serious answers:

• She plays interesting games and is fun to watch playing them
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  She loves strategy games and even dedicates every Sunday to playing them. She plays a lot of other games as well that have been fun to watch including games/series such as Metro, STALKER, Halo, Fallout New Vegas, Vampire the Masquerade, Dark Souls, and many more. In fact, her game choice caught the eye of someone who would become a very close friend to Lumi: her "wife" Jelly Hoshiumi:
  
  This was early on in Lumi's time streaming as she had her first collab with Moon Jelly about a month after her debut. More info in this post.
  
  Lumi may not be the best "gamer" out there, but she's always willing to try and learn, and it always fun to watch her do so, and funny to watch her fail a lot.
• Aside from gaming, she has fun and creative streams.
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  Usually once a week, she will have a creative "RP" stream on YT that has a theme and where she interacts with chat in whatever situation she puts herself in. She calls these "The Adventures of Lumi" on a playlist for them. Some example include:
  -A stream where she sees a therapist for her anger issues after getting banned on Twitter for saying "Kill him" in response to some drama Pippa was involved in.
  This event was the inspiration for this emote:
  
  -A stream where she is forced to do community service by cleaning up after the New Years celebration in NYC
  -A stream where she's a checkout clerk at Walmart
  -A stream where she's your Dad who finally comes home from getting milk to take you fishing.
  -A stream where she imposes her face over the jester in the Stańczyk painting and plays a very morbid jester
• Despite the memes of her being an evil woman, she's a very kind and friendly person.
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  And also despite rumors involving her dating back to Cyberlive, she's friendly with many other vtubers who all have very nice things to say about her. Not only is she on good terms with seemingly every other Phase talent and good friends with plenty of them like Jelly, Dizzy, Ember, Shiina, Pippa, and others, she's also made friends with many outside of Phase. Some of these include Clio Aite, Matoi Miia, Jean Faymas, Filian, Olivia Monroe, Leaflit, Whiskey Project, Fallenshadow, Ninaninin, and others. The reason I know of many of these names now is because of Lumi.
  
  Clio has even credited Lumi with much of her vtuber success because Lumi raided her a while back when Clio had around 30 viewers at the time.
  
  As said at this timestamp, she was also the first to reach out to Clio after Clio's dog died.
• She's incredibly hard working
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  Not only was she streaming during a time when she was working on her Masters in Engineering in college, but now that she's gotten her Masters, she's a full time streamer that streams literally every day of the week unless something comes up in her real life. And in addition to streaming every day, she also works behind the scenes making music, working on projects, and many other things. This is one of those qualities that's both a good and bad thing. Good because it shows how much work ethic she has, but bad because there's been times where she's gone overboard, including recently where she streamed so much and for such long hours that she lost her voice and was forced to take a few days off. Still, it's hard not to admire her dedication to her craft.
• She's a very talented singer
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  I've said numerous times that I don't pay much attention to the music side of vtubing most of the time. Obviously, I am inclined to do so for my oshi, but she is also a very talented singer and does an insane amount of work in this area. She has a playlist on YT of all her covers, originals, and collab songs she's ever done, and that list has 101 songs on it. Not only are these great, but she has done many great karaoke streams.
  
  Some big milestones for her career are tied to her music side. One of the major ones, accomplished last year (2024), is the release of her first EP, VOID, which is a great one that I still listen to often. Another major one, also accomplished last year (2024), is her first 3D performance, performing a new original song at the VTuber Awards.
  
  Some of my favorites will be listed below under my "favorites" from her.
• And most importantly for me, she is hilarious and consistently makes me laugh.
  
  Spoiler: Discussion

  This one is pretty self-explanatory, but definitely the biggest reason she's my oshi. As I said earlier, the reason I started watching her is because of how funny she was in collabs I saw her in with Pippa. And over 2.5 years later, she still makes me laugh harder than any other streamer I watch.
  
  Hopefully without sounding too much like a cringe edgelord: It's pretty obvious by what I laugh at and joke about here that I have a bit of an edgier sense of humor. Much of it is rooted in some of the "early Internet" before everyone and their literal grandmothers jumped on the Internet and started demanding the Internet be sanitized of edgier humor. Lumi's sense of humor reminds me a lot of those times, and she's even talked about the "early Internet" before. Obviously, there are lines she isn't allowed to cross, but she definitely pushes against those lines plenty.
  
  And of course, it isn't just edgy humor. As talked about above, many of her "Adventures of Lumi" streams demonstrate that she's not only good at creating funny stream ideas, but that she's also great at being funny on the spot interacting with chat in these streams. And this isn't exclusive to just these streams. She has a fun dynamic with her chat where they'll make fun of her, and she'll make fun of chat. While she does have a few things that she doesn't like to joke about, I've almost never heard her complain or get mad at chat making jokes.
  
  She really is just a goofy dork.

So, what are some good things to shill to demonstrate why I like Lumi?

Spoiler: Songs

I still remember pausing whatever game I was playing to give my full attention to her singing this song. I was genuinely blown away at how amazing she sounded. Still one of my favorite performances from her:



Her first 3D performance:

Spoiler: Funny clips

The time Asmongold randomly opens Lumi's stream and exposes himself and his community to the most Lumi moment possible:


Guy goes full ESL, and Lumi responds perfectly


Lumi greets urban individuals


Lumi teases her wife Jelly


Lumi yabs


Lumi the Russian Dog


Lumi unhappy with people illegally immigrating to her land


Lumi questioning students' strange names:


Lumi and the Irish


Lumi takes out Hitler to take over Germany...and now plans to invade Poland:


Lumi hurts a chatter's feelings


Lumi wants to say a joke about Sakana and driving, but can't for some reason...


Lumi the Grinch:


I could easily keep flooding this section with clips, but I'll stop for now.

In conclusion, and without jokingly teasing her, Kaneko Lumi is my oshi because she is incredibly entertaining from her amazing singing abilities to her being able to make me laugh every time I watch her and every other good quality of hers in between. It's been an absolute joy being entertained by her these last 2.5 years and being able to watch her grow and accomplish so many amazing things. I hope to be able to keep it going for as long as possible going forward.

Lemon Woman love.

 

[superduper]

Have you ever wanted to watch a retarded autistic girl play flash games and talk about extremely niche autistic tangents, then SuperChirami / Bell Yaga is your girl! She'll yap about things ranging from the time she stalked a cute boy and found his school password and did his homework for him to insisting she is very much not a pedophile. She does karaoke streams using her decently trained singing voice, and when she's not singing she uses that training to screech and make gremlin noises. She's a hidden gem that will only get better with time, so you'll want to invest early to make the most of it!
Here's two example clip for your enjoyment:

 

[Negzana]

This is my humble tribute to my oshi, Kaela Kovalskia

TRIBUTE TO KAELA KOVALSKIA​

Hello everyone! Nice to meet you!~ I’m Kaela Kovalskia, the coolest blacksmith from holoID!

SO CALLED FREE THINKERS DENY
GETTING HELP WITH NO HELP LOGIC
KAELA'S NOT GOD AS GOD CLAIMERS CLAIM
BUT SMITH OF GOD NOT KAELA SHIN
KAELA NOT CKIA BUT CKIA KAELA
KAELEGSKIA NOT KAELA OTHER DIMENSION KAELA
GORIELA PARTNER NOT KAELA
NON-KAELA LOGIC FOR FOOLS AND IGNORANT
GORILLA LOGIC BRINGS LIGHT HALU LOGIC BRING IGNORANCE
3D NOT SALVATION BAD 3D SHALL BE PURGED BY KA3VOLUTION

Kaela's Youtube Account
Kaela's Twitter Account

DEBUT STREAM: MARCH 26 2022 (NOW OBSOLETE DUE TO KA3VOLUTION)


CKIA LORE


3D DEBUT STREAM: OCTOBER 2020 2023 (NOW OBSOLETE DUE TO KA3VOLUTION)


KAELA'S ORISONG: BACKSEAT


KA3VOLUTION REDEBUT STREAM

Spoiler: KAELA CONTENT COMPILATION

KAELA'S OUTRO ORIGIN:


GET SOME HELP


KAELA's BEAUTIFUL SCREAM


KAELA CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE


MOST BEAUTIFUL KAELEGSKIA


CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT SUSHI

Spoiler: KAELA IS GOD OF MINECRAFT

NOT AFRAID OF CREEPER


QUEEN AND RICHEST IN MINECRAFT



KAELA IS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL SERAPH WITH MANY ELYTRA WINGS


KAELA MAKE FUNNY CREEPER TRAP


KAELA COLLECTED ALL TRIMS IN MINECRAFT


KAELA TRANSCENDS ZENLOSS


FIRST VTUBER TO MAKE NETHERITE BEACON

Spoiler: KAELA AND HER DAUGHTER KOSEKI BIJOU

BIJOU HATES ON PICKAXES, KAELA REACTS


KAELA FORCES BIJOU TO MINE DIAMONDS IN MINECRAFT



KAELA AND BIJOU IN 3D


GRINDSTONE THEN VS NOW


KAELA GETS ANNOYED AT BIJOU


BEST PERFORMANCE IN CHAINED TOGETHER WITH DAUGHTER KOSEKI BIJOU

Spoiler: Final Assessment on Kaela

I love Kaela. I have loved Kaela for several hours now, and every second, more. I thought an hour ago that I loved Kaela more than any person has ever loved a vtuber, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then. But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a small spark compared to the raging inferno of the sun. Kaela’s eyes are like that, does she know? Well they are. How many minutes ago was I? Twenty? Had I brought my feelings up to then? It doesn't matter. I love Kaela so much more now than twenty minutes ago that there cannot be comparison. I love Kaela so much more now than I loved her on debut, there cannot be comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but Kaela. My arms love Kaela, my ears adore Kaela, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs Kaela to ask it something so it can obey. Does Kaela want me to follow her for the rest of her days? I will do that. Does Kaela want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for Kaela or sing for Kaela, or if Kaela is hungry, let me bring Kaela food, or if Kaela have thirst and nothing will quench it but Bitter Gourd Juice, I will go to Indonesia, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for Kaela’s lunch. Anything there is that I can do for Kaela, I will do for Kaela; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. There is only Kaela. Dearest Kaela--I've not said her name enough, have I?--Kaela, Kaela, Kaela, Kaela, Kaela,--darling Kaela, adored Kaela, sweet perfect Kaela. I love Kaela.

​

So yeah, please watch and support Kaela Kovalskia