To simplify this whole autism, the average e-thot has little to no impact on the world even if they are materially successful, while a personality that influences people in ways that linger with them for life has impact in some way. Pippa wants to be the latter, likely because she feels her life is pointless if she doesn't make an impact on the world.
I feel like that's a thing that a lot of people struggle with in this day and age. The whole quest to find some meaning behind what you're doing with your life, and do something that actually mattered in the end, y'know?
I swear to Christ I've been writing up whole posts, then deleting them, then trying again to word this without being a gigantic retard for two hours.
Being constantly bombarded by trash media and information from every possible avenue in daily life really fucking numbs you to all of this. Yeah, of course, there was always trash art or music, in every period of history, but there wasn't a marketing team specifically working at all times to force it on you when you're just trying mind your business. Almost everything is made to be discarded and forgotten about in a year, the amount of people your creation has positively affected is completely meaningless if it's not making money.
It's also hard to think about meaning and legacy when you're stuck at work for 8-12 hours a day, living as a rentie, barely paying the bills, with inflation going through the roof, rent prices going up, utilities going up, and all of that piling up on your head. Quite literally can't afford to live in any time but right now.
I'm not saying that there's no meaning left in the world, or that it's all pointless and that there's no valuable legacy you can leave, it's just that finding that meaning and purpose is infinitely harder in the internet age, because
we live in a society is designed to stop you from doing and achieving just that. My Grandfather survived two wars, and built a house that he left for us, but here I am, in a country that's quite literally dying off, in a tiny apartment in a city that is built for tourists instead of the people who live here, using a magical box that can access the sum knowledge of the human race, to talk about 2.5D anime girls.
But yeah in the end, I think Pippa did leave an impression on me that I'll always remember. Her saying "I've never had a real job, chat, I just always wanted to be a content creator, and if I couldn't do that I'd kill myself" did get me thinking and changed my perspective on some things.
Or I'm just extremely autistic and have too much time to think. I don't remember even having the time or energy to think about 3deep5me shit like that when I was a wagie. Anyways, it's 10AM and I'm going to bed, have a song for this feel.