"sigh... I want to die... Kasou Taishou SFX"Omaru Polka

🐟Kirsche Verstahl will be an official Guest Commentator for Sam Hyde's Fishtank Season 4.🐟
🗎Offkai is now demanding you hard-dox yourself to its volunteers in order to get two minutes of facetime with your oshi. Good deal, right?🗎

Kirsche Verstahl

The Proctor · 2023-12-24T00:05:12+00:00

:kirscheicfh::beataniyab::pikayabai::beataniyab::pippaseethe;:pippasquish::pippaseethe;:beataniyab::irysyabairys::beataniyab::kirscheicfh: -=[💾Media💾]=- Twitch || Main Youtube || VOD Youtube Channel || Kick 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹 -=[💲Merch💲]=- UwU Market || Gamersupps Code || Starforge PC Code 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹 -=[🔊Socials📢]=- Discord || Twitter || Throne || Marshmallows :holohag::hololove: -=[🐞🔥Content🧠🫏]=- Kirsche is a variety streamer with a focus on gaming, current events and tangents. She is was the #1 Crime Boss: Rockay City streamer, but she frequently plays horror games, retro games and JRPG's. Her current streaming schedule is Tuesday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday at 3PM EST. She is notorious for streaming even while in excruciating pain and almost never taking breaks, making her incredibly consistent. She is a fairly frequent guest on the Side Scrollers Podcast, where she interacts with various media commentators to discuss events in the gaming industry and tangent about sounding. Moonshine Animations, who does stop-motion comedy videos, has done many skits featuring her along with fellow content creators Pipkin Pippa and Kibawoo (formerly Nanobites). Aside from gaming and tangents, Kirsche has been instrumental in providing the public with informative deep dives on Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI) Initiatives designed to instill far-left progressive values and censorship in media. Her particular focus is on BRIDGE, a new form of DEI created in reaction to the increasingly successful efforts of its detractors and opponents. Thanks to Kirsche's own research, various other commentators and independent news outlets began talking about BRIDGE and informing their viewers of its existence. -=[History]=- Kirsche Verstahl has been a content creator who first began streaming on Twitch in late 2018. She first commissioned a vtuber avatar in 2019, and debuted with it in 2020. Most of her early content revolved around the now-defunct Korean MMORPG Tera Online. She eventually became an official Tera Ambassador for the game, before slowly having to transition to variety content after the game began to shut down. Though Kirsche was able to attract a small and highly dedicated community due to her extremely consistent schedule and lack of breaks, her real incline began in mid-2022. Her first 'landmark stream' that attracted a major influx of new viewers is generally considered to be her Tera Nostalgia stream with Pipkin Pippa [Kir VOD || Pip VOD] and from this point onwards her popularity would start to increase rapidly, going from an average of 50 CCV in August of 2022 to 230 CCV in January of 2023, and reaching over 500 CCV in July of 2023. On April 2nd 2023, Kirsche debuted a 'joke' model; the Korsche [highlight reel/full stream]. This is a small, adorable woodland critter that is just there for petting, and NOTHING ELSE. Aside from being a model option, the Korsche swiftly became a memetic icon for her community, with new variants continuing to be produced even today. Kirsche began to regularly multistream to Youtube in June of 2023, on the basis that it opened up a new avenue for audience growth in addition to making it easier to archive her streams. This would prove to be an inspired decision. On the 21st of August 2023, Kirsche started her first ever Donothon [highlight reel]. Her furthest stretch goal was 10k for mousepad merch, and she admitted at the time she expected not to even reach 5k. Instead, her community contributed so much money that she hit her initial 10k goal in exactly 6 hours and 23 minutes, with multiple subscribers donating thousands of dollars each. Over the next few weeks, her community would continue to donate enormous sums to keep the timer going, forcing her to drastically reduce the ratio of time added per dollar. Despite this, the timer continued to increase, with donations reaching a total of 50,000 dollars by September 5th. Sometime after this, donations stopped adding to the timer, as Kirsche realized that her fans could - and would - keep her live indefinitely unless a cap was put in place. The donothon would finally end on September 12th, 2:25pm. After the meteoric success of her donothon, Kirsche's viewership continued to rapidly increase, with her Youtube viewership growth considerably outpacing her Twitch viewership growth. Her first collab with Marimari_en occurred in November of 2023, followed by her first appearance on Filian's show in March of 2024. In July of 2024, Kirsche experienced another enormous boost to her recognition when she reacted live to the Trump assassination attempt, which she was alerted to on stream by a viewer shortly after it hit the media. This stream would break her CCV record, reaching a high point of approximately 5,400 CCV. Kirsche capitalized on this momentum by reacting to the Trump Inauguration on January 20th 2025. This stream reached a combined total of over 10,000 CCV, blasting all previous records to dust. A few weeks prior to this, Kirsche was also onboarded by Mythic Talent, granting her access to the professional management services and sponsorship negotiators she had long been hunting for to support her growing career. Another metric of Kirsche's that hit 10,000 in early 2025 was her merch sales. Specifically, Moonshine was able to sell a custom figma of her character used in his animations in an ebay auction where the winning bid was 10,100 dollars. 2025 would continue to be a momentous time for Kirsche, as she came under attack by Philip Stephen Wythe, an autogynephilic who calls himself 'Ana Valens'. On April 21st, Phil published an article in the tabloid news outlet VICE Media entitled 'Why Is This ‘Gamer Supps’ VTuber Pushing the Great Replacement Theory?'. This Pulitzer Prize-worthy article starts with assuming that Nyanners is still part of vHoeShow and only gets more unhinged from reality there from there. Phil followed this up with a string of tweets defaming Kirsche's character and demanding her sponsor GamerSupps drop her. This backfired spectacularly, resulting in an enormous outpouring of support from communities that were sick of progressives interfering with their hobbies, with many viewers from Kirsche's community making extra purchases of her merchandise or other GamerSupps products to show how willing they were to invest in a company that stood by its talents. On the 7th of May 2025, Kirsche's content finally appeared on Asmongold's main channel as the result of the VICE article on her. One day later, Phil decided it would be a tremendously good idea to post a second article on VICE, this time called 'Vtubing Has An Elephant In The Room: Bigotry' . This article was even more of a transparent attack on the vtubing industry than the first, consisting purely of attacks on vtuber fans who had dared call him out for his hit-piece. Unfortunately, Phil's crazed flailing did have some impact on Kirsche's livelihood, as on the 9th of May, Kirsche revealed that Crime Boss had dropped her as an affiliate two days after the initial VICE media article, and were refusing all offers of negotiation. Following this reveal, the game would receive massive negative reviews from her outraged fanbase, many of whom had started playing the game following her intense loyalty and support of the developer team. On May 12th, VICE staff responded to the enormous backlash Phil was receiving for both his biased journalism and outrageous behaviour on social media by... doubling down and releasing a statement that 'Waypoint [the subdivision he works for] Stands With Ana Valens'. This would turn out to be an extremely poor choice, as the article inadvertently revealed that Phil had been sending harassment to himself. Two days later, Kirsche would respond directly to VICE's smear campaign with a hilariously memetic warning of impending legal action. To the great surprise of many onlookers, VICE capitulated within less than 12 hours. Phil would proceed to delete his Twitter account and retreat to Bluesky, still seething, along with his tiny and irrelevant group of supportive degenerates. In the aftermath of her victory, Kirsche decided that the best course of action would be to leave her rental property in Georgia and travel elsewhere, due to the risk of physical harassment by the rabid cancel mob Phil had stirred up against her. She currently resides at an undisclosed location, but is back to normal streaming. Well, 'normal streaming' if you count her announcement as a commentator for Sam Hyde's Fishtank Live show. -=[:beataniyab:Personality:beataniyab:]=- Kirsche is an eccentric individual. Among her many quirks are an inability to pronounce anything consistently, ever. Indeed, her verbal slips are a constant source of content, frequently to her own distress. She also very regularly mindbreaks her friends and collab partners with her massive reservoirs of cursed knowledge. Such knowledge includes; Colombian Donkey Sexual Initiation Rituals Worm Sounding LEGO Sounding (With free ASMR!) The ABDL Community Vagina-Licking Vegans (NO CARNIST PUSSY ALLOWED!!!!!!!) Breast-Milk Lotion The 4chan Facebook Grandmas The 4 Types of Rapist (Collect them all for a free coupon!) State-Funded Gay Jerk-Off Clubs Cannibalism Ethical Cannibalism Watch this space! Most of her eccentricity comes from Kirsche's childhood, which would be an award-winning screenplay for a black comedy series on Netflix... if it wasn't actually something that happened to a real person. Kirsche was raised primarily by her mother after her parents divorced when she was very young. As she candidly recounts on many occasions, her mother was a hugely promiscuous woman obsessed with drugs and sex. She was also a pathological liar, which instilled a life-long dislike of surprises and gaslighting in her daughter. To this day, Kirsche's mother will occasionally send her rambling and deranged text messages pretending to be other people reporting on her ill health or death. Stories of Kirsche's involving Kirsche's mother or other members of her enormously dysfunctional family (father and grandparents notwithstanding) form a decent majority of her most comedic moments, particularly in group settings where they manage to even make the absurdly traumatic childhoods of other vtubers seem tame by comparison. As she grew older, Kirsche was able to spend more time with her father and grandparents, who were much more positive influences on her life. She remains extremely devoted to her father and, at the time of writing, desperately wants to buy a house in New England (she is currently living in Georgia) to live nearer to him. Her New England roots go back to her childhood, as she was born in Massachusetts and spent most of her childhood in the Boston area. Her accent is instantly recognizable as Bostonian, as are many of her mannerisms. This is yet another source of content. Kirsche is also a woman of many rather dubious habits. Chief among these is her obsession with room temperature ketchup, which has resulted in numerous arguments with both other streamers and her own chat. Kirsche is a 'texture eater'. This means her autism combined with her abusive childhood makes her physically incapable of consuming various foods depending on their texture. This was naturally weaponized during her first donothon by her beloved and extremely sympathetic fanbase, who mercilessly forced her to eat kimchi for their amusement. The results were spectacular. Unlike many female streamers, Kirsche is extremely open about her past relationships. One of her first serious adult relationships turned out to be a narcissistic sociopath who wanted to keep her as a secret girlfriend while dating another woman of higher social status. This, overall, was a fairly average experience for her. It appears that among her other crimes, Kirsche's mother once spat in a cupid's soup, as his arrows unerringly fly towards gay men, bisexual men, abusive men, and Asmongold. Kirsche is, unfortunately, a massive fan of Asmongold, 2$ pizzas and all. For his part, Asmongold has noticed Kirsche in the past, leading him to dub her a 'spicy cat', which is a nickname that has stuck to her to this day. She also reacts to alcohol by becoming incredibly, incredibly horny. Her sex drive is extremely high, which makes her dedication towards traditional family values and long-term, stable partnerships all the more unexpected. Kirsche is adamant that she views the nuclear family to be the cornerstone of human civilisation, and is deeply critical of hook-up culture. -=[🏳️🌈Relationships💕]=- (s) As an exotic individual even among vtubers, Kirsche has a relatively small but tight-knit social circle. Pipkin Pippa - one of Kirsche's oldest friends. They have gotten drunk together in real life. [highlight reel] Filian - Kirsche is a repeat guest on her show. They share at least half a braincell. Regular victim of Kirsche's mindbreak. Bagstard - Fellow member of the Part-Time Super Terrorists group. Frequently plays multiplayer games with her. Kibawoo - ditto. Moonshine Animations - ditto. Also runs a very successful animation channel, whose productions Kirsche frequently stars in. Marimari_en - Frequent collab partner. Another regular victim of Kirsche's mindbreak. -=[💢Kirsche Derangement Syndrome💢]=- Due to her extremely crass humour, unfiltered personality and strongly ring-wing, libertarian political leanings, Kirsche has no shortage of people trailing after her with various petty grievances. She is particularly adept at riling up twitter leftists, with her quote-retweets being a regular goldmine for anyone who wants to witness the unhinged ravings of people with nothing better to do with their life than dedicate it to raging at the existence of a cartoon fox woman. Among the many individuals she has managed to reduce to a state of near-psychotic madness is everyone's favourite Nijisanji white-knight and terminal Twitter addict, nBinted. Bint has devoted tremendous amounts of time to raging at Kirsche, who he of course has blocked, and is quite happy to try and get her deplatformed by spamming her sponsors with a legion of bot accounts accusing her of being a transphobic racist sexist bigoted right-wing grifter or whatever else he feels like calling her on that day of the week. Another twitter sperg who has taken many ineffectual shots at Kirsche before is nyara, a man whose sole claim to fame is pretending to be a woman on the internet and moaning about getting pegged. After years and years of making very badly skinwalking as the opposite sex his sole and singular personality trait, nyara has completely failed to acquire and audience or shred of relevance, as the market quite sensibly decided he had nothing to offer them. Watching an alt-right genocidal fascist monster and certified vagina-owner like Kirsche rocket to 1,000x his popularity in a 10th the time left him with a hilarious case of Kirsche Derangement Syndrome. More recently, Kirsche was caught in the crosshairs of the incredibly gross Philip Stephen Wythe, an AGP, paedophilic man who prefers to be known as Ana Valens, aka Anal Violence. The Phil Saga has been well-documented in this thread, and it has substantial crossover with TVA itself.

Thread starter The Proctor
Start date Dec 23, 2023

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