Transcription - Voice Tweet, “Some Thoughts.”
(Transcriber’s note: I’ve done my best to make this verbatim. Please listen to the tweet and understand that intonation in any language is a key part to the full emotional content of a thing. If you are a non-native speaker, it may be very difficult for you to discern what tone is being used when. My personal understanding here is that Vox is being rather calm, soothing, and reassuring while addressing this matter.)
(Recordings are indicated by asterisks, so that you can better follow along with Vox’s words and his tone while reading. Paragraph divisions are arbitrary and made to make translation/readability easier.)
(Begin Transcription
I'm having a lot of thoughts and so I think I'm just gonna voice tweet and let it run as long as it needs to run, and just say what's on my mind at the moment.
I think that when it comes to making the best content that I can, I think that a lot of my experiences in my first year as, ah, you know, having a lot of this success has definitely hit me with a lot of experiences that have changed the way I think about this kind of thing, but not always accurately.
I think that for me, I'm really sort of sensitive to the idea that some people don't like aspects of my content, ah, that other people do like. It's a really obvious concept, but it gets under my skin a lot, and if--
In an ideal world, I think I would just be a really palatable and enjoyable person that I think, you know, that I think the majority of people would really enjoy watching.
But what I think I've been experiencing is that over the course of this career, I've kind of fallen down a certain rabbithole that, which, you know, (is) purely of my own creation, that sort of made me into a certain type of content creator-- and that's okay, like, it's not anyone's fault for enjoying a certain type of content that I do.
I mean, I think, to be honest, the reason that I fell into being a fanservice vtuber was probably because I just enjoyed the approval that I got whenever somebody in chat asked me to do something and I did it and they would sort of, you know, say, "Oh, thank you very much! Tskr!" or whatever it is, it felt nice, and so I kept doing it.
And-- but then, over time it does start making me think about the longevity of my content and how it must look to someone who doesn't know what's going on, or who is joining us for the first time.
To me, I think that a lot of the names and faces that I see recurring-- see popping up on stream more often than not-- are ones that have been here since the beginning. There are very dedicated kindred and some brand new ones as well.
But to be honest, if -I- were in this community and I weren't in this position, and ** I found my content as a brand new person, I think I would find it somewhat impenetrable in a way.
There are so many in-jokes and so many traditions and not to mention, I think that-- I do agree with people, that having like a really sus aspect to almost every single stream is kind of exhausting, and I think it stems from my inability to say no to people.
Um... Whenever I-- I mean-- people are giving me their own hard-earned money through supas. I -need- to respond to that, and do, obviously not always, but I--
I really feel that I owe the people in my chat so much and the worst nightmare that I have is not giving them the thing that they're coming to me for, and that resulting in, you know, things falling apart or someone leaving, and, you know, it's--
it's bad and I'm very sensitive to that kind of thing, and I want to be able to make the right thing for everyone, and I really want more people than just like the people who enjoy this very specific style of content to be able to watch me, but I think that over time, it's become, you know, so dictated by what a small minority of people want me to do that it's sort of scaring away everyone else, and uh...
I think it sort of really relates to the whole experience of chat, because if all I'm ever doing is-- if all I'm ever doing is, um, giving fanservice and if all I'm ever doing is, reading the, you know, reading supas and trying to do whatever it is they ask me to do--
because, like I said, I feel sort of obligated to do whatever a person asks me to do in a supa. It sort of feels like it's required of me, like it's in my job description.
But then, of course, you know-- for example, streams like a MC stream can be just me chatting and relaxing with everyone, which is my favorite thing to do, or it can become one person makes a really sort of, you know, intimate request of me, and because that's just what I do, I'll respond to it and I'll give it to them,
and then, suddenly *** there's an avalanche of people who all want me to stop and pay attention to them individually, which I don't mind, but while I'm doing it, I do think about the experience of everyone who is not one of those people, everyone who was enjoying the other aspect of the stream.
And so I think maybe the right thing to do is to kind of shake up the chat rules a little bit and add another clause about um, spam-- I mean, the whole thing about it is that I actually really enjoy emote spam.
It kind of-- it fills me with dopamine and whenever I-- whenever I do something and people say tskr or like, they have the ‘kekw’ emote in chat, it always makes me laugh, and it makes me smile.
But the chat isn't really for me. The chat is for you guys to interact with me, and so if it's generally sort of-- if it's generally, like, agreed upon that a lot of people would prefer that stopped, then maybe we can take a look at reducing that.
So, um-- all I'm really trying to do at the moment is to keep my fingers on the pulse of what is generally enjoyed by, you know, the majority of the people who watch me, because I think that I've made the mistake in the past of trying to appeal to the people who don't watch me, and sort of forgetting about what made my own content special in the first place.
And so I don't want to make that mistake again. I just-- I just want to listen to you, okay? And the fact of-- I'm just trying to think about what I'm gonna say--
I think the hardest part of all of this is that when you're on twitter, you see the perspective and the opinions of only so many people, and one of my biggest fears, really, is taking action and doing-- doing-- making drastic changes, when there's a whole community of people, specifically those perhaps who don't have access to twitter, perhaps those with a language barrier, who, um, what am I trying to say here?-- who I may not get to see the perspectives of. And that is a little scary, you know.
It's a little frightening not to know what everyone in your community is thinking, you know, and while I might see the opinions of people who really, you know, I-- **** see the opinions of people on twitter who might have the right idea, but then there might-- there might–
they might make me think that's what the entirety of my community thinks, but then it may only be a small sample size, and there might be an even larger swathe of people who don't think that way, and I may be letting them down as well.
I think it's, again-- branches from what I was saying like right at the beginning of this giant rant that I really don't like s-- I really struggle to say no to anybody, and if a fan or someone giving a supa asks me to do something, even if it makes me really uncomfortable, I'll probably do it still.
So it's definitely difficult to know which direction to take this, but all I'm going to ask is like, again, I always say this, but please, be kind to one another, and don't get into arguments. Just--
Let's discuss this like, nicely, and with the effort that-- with the-- excuse me-- to bear in mind that at the end of the day, I am a youtuber; you're watching a guy who plays video games online; it ain't that deep. Okay? The main thing is just trying to create a community that it's nice to be a part of, and to create content that you guys enjoy watching. And that is all. Okay?
So, let's just have a nice chat about it, and try to figure out what we're going to do next. Okay? Mweh. (kiss)
. I'm not willing to dive into this mess but be my guest. (
